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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to only give people from online dating one chance before blocking

22 replies

returningtotheuksoon · 12/07/2015 08:50

At the very first time someone shows signs of being unreliable I block. Just had my two dates for today cancel, both saying they are unwell. They did it polite enough but neither wanted to tie down a time and place to meet today just rough plans, so for both of them its a block. I find online dating just makes people seem so disposable and people are always looking for someone better.

Aibu to block so easily?

OP posts:

paulapompom · 12/07/2015 11:45

Imho no, YaNbu. I think you have got it dead right. People often want to keep all their options open, even ifthat means messing others about. X

TinyManticore · 12/07/2015 11:45

I'd do the same thing.

MaliaGrace · 12/07/2015 11:47

No, just block. It sounds harsh but only to people who have no real experience of on line dating.

If you don't block, you will end up being messed around, lied to and wasting time.

2rebecca · 12/07/2015 12:01

I'd block. They're not that bothered about you and liars.

HelenF35 · 12/07/2015 12:35

Yanbu, no time to waste on these guys. Online dating is frustrating at times, don't put up with any crap.

Original poster

returningtotheuksoon · 13/07/2015 22:32

Thanks for that! :)/I knew in my head I should ignore friends that are happily in a relationship and have never done online dating who thought I was being far too harsh.

OP posts:

itsmeitscathy · 13/07/2015 22:47

Actually it depends. I rearranged a first date as I wasn't feeling great with now DP. so glad he didn't think I was just flaky

Original poster

returningtotheuksoon · 14/07/2015 09:59

Oh Cathy you've muddled the waters!

I guess how sincere the re arrangement is matters. These were just I'm sorry not feeling well today, can we do it another time. Really did get the feeling they weren't super bothered.

OP posts:

PanGalaticGargleBlaster · 14/07/2015 10:04

Why are you internet dating? Surely you can just go on a date with one of the multitude of blokes who take a shine to you down the gym?

Original poster

returningtotheuksoon · 14/07/2015 10:10

If you really want to troll me might as well read my other thread properly, I haven't been to a mixed gym on years.

OP posts:

SaucyJack · 14/07/2015 10:18

I postponed my first proper date with DP because I'd had a busy day (only until the next day tho)

Not because I wasn't bothered, but because I wanted to be at my best so it would go as well as possible.

Most people are just dicking you about tho in honesty.

blueshoes · 14/07/2015 11:39

OP, you are right to block those losers.

First of all, being "unwell" is such a cop out as it is a perfect excuse for their lame last minute cancellation. If it is genuine, they would be suggesting credible alternatives to re-schedule but sounds like they were vague. Go with your gut and block these timewasters.

FarFromAnyRoad · 14/07/2015 11:43

@ you thinking that comment by Pan was 'trolling' you. You have delusions of adequacy grandeur OP. T'is quite funny.

MissPhonic · 14/07/2015 11:53

Nope, you only get 1 chance to make a first impression. You have to be brutal when online dating. I know it seems harsh but you wouldn't walk into a pub and expect everyone in there to be dating material so don't expect in on the internet.

I had a guy cancel because "my friends have persuaded me to go out instead". Met my lovely DP online a few months later.

blueshoes · 14/07/2015 15:08

Two weird posts, one from Pan, one from Farfrom. It is bad form to bring up things from another thread, apart from being a stupid comment.

Degreaser · 14/07/2015 15:14

YANBU - one of the joys of online dating it can be much quicker to get to the point of realising that someone is not for you.
I did distance online dating (said I was from the area I was moving to rather than actually lived) so that meant that I spoke on the phone with people first for weeks - only one got to the meeting stage and that turned out to be DH.

Reignbeau · 14/07/2015 16:45

I agree with blueshoes. I think it's a bit twatty to use another thread that has nothing to do with this one just to be a smartarse.

CalmYourselfTubbs · 14/07/2015 17:45

YANBU.
for the most part, yes they're just wasting your time.
i agree that online dating is different from the more traditional way of meeting guys and there is a different set of rules.

2rebecca · 14/07/2015 21:00

I think if I was genuinely ill and keen to meet a bloke I'd be really apologetic about it and keen to get something else organised, unless I've had an MI and am in hospital in whch case I'd probably tell my date I'm in hospital and feeling really unwell. Just a vague "I'm ill lets meet up again at some vague time in the future" sounds like an excuse. Really ill people are usually quite happy to give details.

2rebecca · 14/07/2015 21:04

I don't find gyms good places to meet people. I run, swim, cycle, orienteer and go to the gym and gyms are place with the least interaction with other people. If the gym is a mixed gym with a mixed sauna that has possibilities, I'm often chatting to blokes in the sauna but generally other sports clubs win. Swimming is pretty antisocial as well, unless you go to the sauna!

TiggyD · 14/07/2015 22:14

You need a few rules to get rid of as many wasters as possible. You might lose a few nice people amongst the 100s of losers though.

I always block anybody who uses the word "discrete". It seems to be code for 'married'.

Original poster

returningtotheuksoon · 15/07/2015 12:13

Glad I'm not alone in thinking most are time wasters. I might end up blocking 50 for every 1 date I go on

OP posts:

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