Are we raising a generation of spoilt, entitled narcissistic children?!

[Middleriddle]

Following on from the school reports on Facebook post, I have grave concerns about this future generation of children currently being raised in a world of social media and with an amazing sense of entitlement (materially and emotionally and socially).

Will they expect to have and do everything with minimal effort because everything has been provided for them? Parents meeting their every need and buying anything they want. iPhones by age 10 etc. Constant selfies and too much self-absorption will make them selfish and narcissistic. Has there been any research yet on this?

I am really concerned for the future. I am a parent of 2 small children and as yet as they are so small, we are still in a bubble. How do I protect them but not make them too different and out of sync with their friends?

" Children being bought everything they desire might not be the norm in this country "

I know, love the assumptions on this thread that everyone is (relatively) loaded.
My kids do not have all this shyte, because I am skint. And it is getting worse. soon they will have to sleep in a cardboard box in the road.

It's much worse financially for them, they're going to suffer more stress and be more unhealthy than my (40's) generation.

I sort of tell myself that their selfishness and 'the world owes me everything because I'm fabulous' attitude is a defence against the very real problems they're going to face

I like most parents try not to spoil my children and my 7 year old now gets pocket money and is learning about saving etc. I think it is important not to jump in and try and resolve all the difficulties a child faces so they learn life will sometimes be challenging. I am sure I am not alone in this. The Internet does frighten me, mostly because I look back my teens and twenties and am glad those years are now confined to memories and a few photos.

I think we are. I read so often on here about toddlers having tablets and the posters get defensive to the point of extreme rudeness if anyone dares to suggest that their precious little darlings might be able to do without them at the age of two.

Kids today have gadgets and widespread permissiveness. But they missed out on affordable housing, good pension plans and free higher education. I wouldn't trade my house, degrees and pension for an iPhone. Good luck to them.

this seems to be quite accurate

My parents thought we were terribly spoilt back in the 70s and 80s, and so we were compared to their tough 1950s Irish rural childhoods. But now the younger generation of the family find it hard to comprehend that it was quite normal for our generation of children to sleep 3 or 4 to a bedroom; that we had one (black and white for many years) television in the house between everyone; that we only got fizzy drinks at Christmas, and so on.

On the other hand we had far more freedom than children do today and I don't think the pressure regarding exams and getting to University was nearly as intense.

I think we are. I read so often on here about toddlers having tablets and the posters get defensive to the point of extreme rudeness if anyone dares to suggest that their precious little darlings might be able to do without them at the age of two.

is that spoilt children or bad parenting?

Surely toddlers who can't do without tablets is bad parenting rather than spoilt children.

It seems more to me now that parents are unwilling to engage with their children when the easier option of handing over a piece of technology, that will do it for them, is there.

Having 'stuff' isn't a new thing, it's only the same as gameboys, colour tv, shoes if you go back far enough. And I don't think its so much what they have, it's how its dealt with. You could buy your child a 5k item if you can afford it that really benefits them and they appreciate it and them not be spoiled or entitled. Or you could give them 50p to buy sweets because they've had a huge demanding tantrum and them be spoilt and demanding.
My child has things many friends don't, and many friends have things she doesn't. My general rule is that somethings are a right, but privileges have to be earnt in some way. Whether that's earning the privilege of pets by being responsible for them, or an iPhone by looking after the old Nokia, or money for extra treats doing jobs above what I'd expect as a normal contribution. And that any privilege is only for a good reason for her, not because anyone else has it.

Also the most spoilt entitled behavior I've witnessed has been about attitude not material items. The whole world should revolve around my child because only their needs are important, so screw every other child in the vicinity because my child should be everybodys first priority. That is what I find leads to spoilt grabby self centred kids, not what they do or don't own

I hate people who dismiss an entire generation out of hand. Really, really hate them.

I've spent the past two weekends with DD1's friends from school - a lovely, polite, friendly set of girls who work hard at school. Yes, they have (gasp) smartphones. (DD1 doesn't yet, but that will change in the next few weeks). They also have all the same problems previous generations have had - one is living in a home where her stepfather abuses her mother, another has anxiety disorder, a third has a father who has had a devastating stroke and now has to care for her younger siblings when their mum is out working to bring in an income.

I'm sure there are some spoilt teens out there, but dismissing the entire group is just downright rude and unpleasant.

Some people are raising rude and spoiled kids and some people are not. It's impossible to generalise.

You want to see evidence of entitled people? Look on the inheritance tax thread. I don't think many of them are children.

Can we leave off on the ageism? It is no better than slagging off older people. Which is always called out on MN. Why can't younger people be afforded the same dignity?

Why is it okay on Mumsnet to generalise about teens but not older people? If anyone includes an older person's age when complaining about them, it's immediately dismissed as irrelevant or prejudiced. Yet somehow the same courtesy is not applied the other way around.

I have just come back from a 3 day school trip with a bunch of teenagers who are so used to our instant society they were incapable of waiting patiently at the channel crossing, refused to eat any meal other than chips and burgers, couldn't sit at a table in a restaurant and couldn't manage a mile walk! It was ridiculous!

pointythings- well said. I meet lots of my kids teenage friends - and they are a fantastic bunch of human beings. I know personally 25 kids aged between 15-18 - all friends of my children.
They come to the house, I often give lifts to dance/gym/ cinema/ home from school, study clubs, they are polite, respectful , hilarious, brilliant friends to my children, help out is a crisis, have helped me move house, have painted my garden fence, will wash up , feed my cats, eat my food, make me a cuppa,send me birthday wishes. They aspire to study at University and take education seriously.
I feel privileged to know such an amazing bunch of young adults.

I see social media openness as a return to when we all lived in villages and everyone knew everyone else's business. I grew up like that. Everyone would have known my school report a few days after my parents did, everyone talked. There wasn't the same confidentiality about everything from teachers and only genuinely sensitive information was kept confidential, not what reading group kids were in.
I went to a small town uni where the same was true then lived in London and another big city where anonymity was/is the norm. When I joined Facebook 7 or 8 years ago to me it felt like returning to a world of quick chats e changing news with acquaintances in the street/shop /post office.
I don't think it's necessarily unhealthy. And not narcissistic.

Yes.
Basically.
I spoke to a health professional. She agreed. She suggested there was nothing that could be done. I disagreed. I said it was wrong, and thus we should at least try.

I think it depends on how parents handle things like technology & social media rather than their existence itself.

My DD is nearly 11 - thanks largely to a full compliment of rather indulgent grandparents, she is the owner of a laptop, an iPad and a smartphone. She uses them sensibly, accepts when we say 'no' to things tech related & takes care of homework/chores before using them for everything from games & YouTube to producing music, learning coding & teaching herself the basics of French & Mandarin.

In the last year, completely off her own bat, she has organised 2 anti bullying campaigns at school & a fundraiser for a local charity that provides holidays for children with life limiting illnesses. She also loves reading, drawing, bodyboarding, street dance & basketball and plays 2 musical instruments.

Don't get me wrong, she's not perfect - we do have to give her a nudge away from the machines on occasion & remind her from time to time that Zoella & Stampy Longnose are not the greatest oracles of our time, but beyond that I can't say that tech, social media or today's celeb obsessed society is having a detrimental effect on her at all.

I have sometimes made a fuss about ageism towards the over 60s on here. I agree that it is equally wrong to generalise about young people.

Not only are you writing off an entire younger generation for being spoilt, when previous generations have also had spoilt and entitled people in them, but you are writing off every parent along with them.

Not all (or even most) bring their kids up to be spoilt, ungrateful and impatient .

I wave my slide rule around the office as an object of desire. The Log Tables got burnt years ago.

My cthildren are wonderful. Their friends are lovely too. I don't have FB. All is well. The future generation look fine to me. I wish they'd read a bit more, but that's about it.

Well my kids dont and won't have 'permissiveness' what a crock of shite this thread is.