To wonder why my mother is so racist?

[Petridish]

To summarise:-

"A touch of the tar brush there"

"He was coffee coloured"

"A bit tinted"

"It would be awful if someone in the Royal Family married a black"

I could go on... She also disapproves of "Muslims" coming to the UK and leeching of the benefit system.

The irony is that she is very PC about discrimination against those with disabilities - mainly because my late sister was disabled.

The age thing might account for my MIL's choice of words, though. She's in her 70's and doesn't get that 'coloured people' and 'negroes' aren't words to use these days. She has been in hospital several times over the last two years and never fails to mention if a doctor she has seen was 'dark skinned', as if it was somehow relevant.

A city on its own doesn't create tolerance; it creates ghettoes. Tolerance needs to be enforced.

A David Cameron style contradiction. I should congratulate myself.

My mum was selectively racist. We had a friend who objected violently to her dd marrying an Asian man. I was so proud of mum for calling her racist...until mum said,"It's not as if he's black!"

Oh God will this never end?I am the' old' generation and so thoroughly sick of it all...the offenders and the offended.Your Mother can say what she likes.Just ignore her.

Does not help that Mandela died and communism did not 'get everyone in Africa' , rabid racism (tribalism,xenophobia,whatever you like to call it) is now the order of the day and Islam is the new Bogeyman.

People read papers and are afraid for the future ...they then draw 'laagers' of the likeminded.

YANBU. I suppose the first 3 are age things, my mum uses those terms, and still calls children with DS, Mongols . She is 80 and very set in her ways.

At 68 it is not a generational thing-she is just racist. Your question "Why?" is more difficult to answer.

My favourite is when someone starts a sentence with "I'm not a racist, but..."

It's amazing the number of people who think they're not racist but are. I don't think it is a generational thing. You either single out people for being different from you, or you don't.

Astounding that a woman who is so racist and bigoted, (your words) has managed to produce a daughter who is so amazingly tolerant of others' beliefs.

I am 71 and have decided that there is little need for a term to describe people's colour. There have been so many PC expressions over the years and you never quite know when the perceptions have changed. As long as you are not attempting to be derogatory or racist just say what you need to say.

GoblinLittleOwl

Fair play to modern society, including but not limited to the state education system, public broadcasting such as the BBC, and legislative changes concerning discrimination, eh? Sometimes it works!

To this day, I credit Eastenders and Tiff's brother for me not picking up my mother's homophobia.

greylady, I think the Campaign for Real English would support your view. However, pressure groups of all kinds use labels as shortcuts. The arguments might be in danger of becoming too cumbersome, otherwise. So, we have Black Power, Coloureds and Blacks in old South Africa, etc... It's to define a group for political purposes.

Downtown My favourite is when someone starts a sentence with "I'm not a racist, but..."

Hmm, yes and no. Everyone says this now, it's another thing used to shut down any debate on what's actually bothering people. People feel the need to say "I'm not racist..." because that is the first thing they are accused of! On the other hand, some people feel the need to point out they're not racist if raising an issue usually raised by racists. It's the difference between "there are isues with immigration" and "send the bastards home"!

So many times I've seen radical lefties (I'm normally on their side) just call someone racist, without addressing their concerns or trying to change their mind as to what's led to that view.

Eg, I am not racist, grew up "colourblind" due to living in a diverse area. I still see there are issue with immigration, but some would call me racist for just mentioning it! I worked in a care home that preferred immigrants because they'd get them to sign 60hr a week contracts and offered cheap accomodation to go with it (cheap because it was four to a room, but not cheap enough to properly reflect that!). A couple of these staff were excellent, and some were neglectful and abusive. Two in particular used to hide and drink tea whilst the rest of us answered call bells etc. A lot were bordering on neglectful because they didn't suit the job, just wanted a job in the UK, and as for 'working' 60hrs, they just kept the numbers up, I did more work in my 36hrs/week! The problem here is the employers - exploiting everyone involved and choosing profit over everything else. Becaue that is what employers and markets do, which is why the government never address it and anyone expressing dissatisfaction can be swept away as 'racist'. Classism is rampant, much more so than racism, which is a nice distraction.

One major problem with my mother is that she reads the Daily Mail

She is so sensitive to bigotry against those with disabilities (because dsis was disabled) but comes out with some shocking racism.

sorry I do not think it is an 'age thing' my dad is pushing 80 and would not dream of using those terms.
And reading the DM is not really an excuse either.
where does that paper use such terms?

Reading the DM isn't an excuse, but it does contain quite a lot of criticism of "immigrants" apparently milking the benefits system.

I don't think there is any excuse for racism.

I guess she is basically ignorant and prejudiced.

" it does contain quite a lot of criticism of "immigrants" apparently milking the benefits system. "

not as much as people make out.
It does not use vile expressions like 'touch of the tar brush' does it?

I have only every heard my mother use 'a touch of the tar brush'. However, I did once hear her SIL say that she didn't want her daughter to continue seeing her (black) boyfriend because she didn't agree with mixed marriages...

It's the fact that my mum's comments about race are so casual - she clearly thinks that she is entitled to her bigoted opinions.

I call her on it every time she uses racist language or expresses racist opinions, but it seems to make no difference.

I love her but I hate her views.

I think the DM is pretty scathing of single mothers, asylum seekers etc. I can't remember it using racist language, though, to be fair. I know that Lynda Lee Potter (now deceased) got into trouble for writing in her DM column that black men tend to be violent towards women.

I did hear Joss Ackland's character use it in a movie about Merle Oberon...that was back in the 70s and it made my mum laugh with embarrassed horror. In the 1970s.
You might need to have a word with the old dear.

That's how it used to be . ? (Sorry I forget the name of the poster) it is re her Mothers comment and Operation Yewtree.

You should tell your Mother that's the reason there are many many messed up adults now , to scared to mention some dirty nonce to a "family member" as a child for it being swept aside or told to Shusssh .

Your Mother sounds vile .

Can you really change someone though?

I would love to be able to change her horrible views

I think somebody needs to be motivated in order to change. What's in it for her?

my MIL sends jokes about immegrants to her daughter, who is married to one, and she just does not get why her daughter is offended.

My mum wasn't born in the UK but goes on about immigrants/foreigners

I still see there are issue with immigration, but some would call me racist for just mentioning it! I worked in a care home that preferred immigrants because they'd get them to sign 60hr a week contracts and offered cheap accomodation to go with it (cheap because it was four to a room, but not cheap enough to properly reflect that!). A couple of these staff were excellent, and some were neglectful and abusive.

I think the issues with immigration are quite successfully pumped up as a vote winner by the political parties, two in particular.

As for the abusive staff members you encountered, nothing whatsoever to do with race