To wonder why my mother is so racist?

[Petridish]

To summarise:-

"A touch of the tar brush there"

"He was coffee coloured"

"A bit tinted"

"It would be awful if someone in the Royal Family married a black"

I could go on... She also disapproves of "Muslims" coming to the UK and leeching of the benefit system.

The irony is that she is very PC about discrimination against those with disabilities - mainly because my late sister was disabled.

Mum is awful - she said that the fact that she is regularly cold called from a call centre in India makes her "feel quite racist".

I did suggest that, should the person on the other end of the telephone be disabled, she might become prejudiced towards the disabled, but that did not register with her.

Good point, Pumpkin - I agree with you.

Mrs Devere, sadly in the 1970s and 80s , there were still signs up in pubs in England saying no dogs/blacks/Irish. I read them.

You could be me

According to my mum Operation Yewtree is a witch hunt as 'that is just how it was'

All the offensuve 1970s comedies were fine as it was just the foreigners laughing at themselves.

Nigel Farage talks a lot of sense.

I could go on. But I won't depress myself. And yes I call her on it every single fucking time. I am apparently being over sensitive

My mother is always going on about asylum seekers. Her grandparents were asylum seekers in the UK, more of her family came during and after WW2 and more still in 1956 from Hungary. But she says repeatedly "That's different." How? She doesn't know, but it is.

It's not a generation thing. My Dad was born in the 30s and was never like that. We lived in a very multi-cultural area when I was a child.

I think all you can do is keep calling her on it, perhaps suggest some other terms - 'coffee-coloured' seems to be the least awful expression, so maybe start from there? Or point out that our ancient ancestors were most certainly not pale and 'English-looking'?

are you my sister my mum is like this how old is your mum out of interest op?mine is 73

I'm prejudiced against people who cold call me from call centers, regardless of their race, nationality, disabilities, or whatever. They're annoying.

I've come across racists of all ages. I'm glad not everyone agrees that it's generational.

My grandad was born in 1930 and he hated any sort of racial slurs he thought it was very unsavoury but I remember other family members of the same generation saying words like wog ( I had no idea what this meant as a child) it was all very Alf Garnett. My grandmother is in her eighties now and doesn't say racist things but she does say things like " that coloured nurse was a very nice lady" I do correct her but I know she isn't being intentionally racist

Agree with Pumpkin. My nana could never understand anyone being gay until one of her children came out. She then became a campion for her child.

Both my parents are the same. To an extent it is generational, and that's not to excuse it in any way. I can remember my dad saying that he and his workmates would regularly 'joke' with a black guy who worked there, along the lines of 'yeah mate but you've only just come down from swinging in the trees!' This guy would 'take it in good part, and laugh along' My mum thought that Enoch Powell was the best prime minister we never had. We would argue constantly, and bitterly, but casual racism was acceptable in society when they were growing up. Remember what the guy in 'the Dambusters' called his dog? We have a way to go, but things are getting better. Oh, my parents are both in their 80s, of working class background. (Though they don't see it that way!)

My 97 year old wee granny isn't a bigot or racist. She's not too fond of Hitler or the Nazzzzizzz (as she calls them) but I think she has a point, there.

My FiL and his mother are terrible for this. They just can't get past the "otherness" of non-white people, so every single opportunity has to be taken to comment. It's never "the man in the shop", it has to be "the man in the shop, who was Asian". I don't get it. I don't understand how, when they've both lived their whole lives in big multicultural cities, it's still a novelty to them. With FIL it's more clumsy and cringey than offensive, but the old lady is just a bigot, and I avoid her as far as possible because one day I'm going to tell her to shut her foul, racist old mouth.

My Dad is like this and it's mortifying. It is like living in a time warp listening to him. I call him on his comments every time but it makes no difference. He absolutely cannot let anything pass, for example, I live near a Hindu Temple which was originally a church. He could not just walk past it without commenting negatively. My next door neighbours are black, I have to ensure our windows are shut if he visits so that they don't hear him. Every joke involves a p*i or a c*n. It makes me want to cry. I am on eggshells ready to talk over him so the DC don't hear. He brought me up so if I know racism is unacceptable then he must too. My mum and siblings aren't like this, just him. The absolute worst time was when he was ill in hospital. The doctor had told him not to do something and my Dad ranted at him along the lines of "we let you come over here and take our jobs..." I wanted to find the doctor and apologise. He is really stuck in the 1970's and does not grasp that what he says is found offensive by white people. He is being intentionally racist which is awful because in many other respects he is such a kind and generous man.

Its a generation thing, as much as I hate to say it

Don't be ageist please.

I meant "does not grasp that what he says is found offensive by white people too." Meaning he thinks we all agree with him and find his comments hilarious but are telling him to be quiet just for show.

I'd be interested to know how old your Mum is. I'm interested in the "Its a generation thing" comments. I don't think people in their 60s and 70s are any more racist than younger people.
I know some people over 85 who make racist remarks without awareness -but I don't think all very old people are the same.

Coffee-coloured sounds fine to me. The Zapatistas call themselves People the colour of the Earth.