To find eating so bloody, utterly confusing?

[stevienickstophat]

Right, I've come to the belated conclusion that I need to lose a lot of some weight.

I don't want to do WW or Slimming World, or Atkins or any lo-carb stuff. Been there, done that, fatter than ever.

I find MFP far too time-consuming and confusing.

I just want to make sustainable changes and learn how to make good choices so that the weight comes off slowly and naturally and stays off.

But the advice these days is all so confusing, I end up staring in the fridge like a bunny in the headlights, and give up before I even start.

Eat fruit. Don't eat fruit, it's full of sugar.
Eat protein. But not too much red or processed meat.
Eat veg. But not carby veg.
Eat cheese. Don't eat more than a matchbox sized amount of cheese, it's full of fat and salt.
Eat full fat everything. Full fat everything is full of calories.
Fill up on brown carbs. Don't eat carbs.

I don't know which way is up any more. I've got to the point where I feel guilty for eating an apple.

So, how should a 41 year old, 12 stone 4, size 14 woman eat in order to lose weight long term, please?

I need unequivocal advice in words of one syllable.

TIA

I would actually say, go against the norm and get rid of your scales. I have daughters and I would never have scales in the house as I feel it is harmful, especially for women, to keep checking weight.

You will know if you feel a better, more comfortable shape for you. By regularly checking your weight, you run the risk of becoming obsessed by small increases and decreases (which I think happen naturally anyway over a woman's cycle). And often if there is an increase, people can think, "oh crap, I've failed anyway, I might as well eat all the things I have been denying myself!"

I would aim to really enjoy your food, if you are not actively enjoying it then stop eating it (e.g. the biscuits). Find healthier foods that you really enjoy and try to eat more of them. Don't bother with healthy foods that you dont like!

Eat if you feel hungry, even if between meals, as I think that if you feel like you are denying yourself, food or a 'diet' can easily become an obsession. You are then more likely to binge on all those forbidden foods. I sometimes have a bowl of branflakes if I am hungry between meals as it really fills me up.

I would try to be mindful of what is healthy e.g. veg, fish, fruit, potatoes etc but I wouldn't cut out any food groups.

And finally, remember that we are all more critical of our own bodies than anyone else is of them! xx

Here are my edits to your rules:

So...

1. Avoid obvious crap.
2. Replace biscuits with diet coke. no way Jose. Diet coke makes you hungrier and is full of shit. No diet coke. Replace biscuits with 5 nuts. Or a large spoon of hummous and unlimited crudités. Or a sliced up Apple with crunchy peanut butter.
3. Aim for at least five a day.
4. Have a healthy snack when truly hungry.
5. Try to up the exercise.
6. eat breakfast every day
7. eat protein at every meal & snack

Sorry Stevie Diet Cxkx IS rubbish, I make my own biscuits without gluten and low sugar. With chocolate in them.

I don't understand why any spray oil what's wrong with cooking with olive oil or a bit of butter fgs?

I lost a lot of weight eating proper healthy food NO diet foods of any type. No Calorie counting either.

I feel equally confused. Having done a variety of diets over the years, I appear to have a lot of "allowed" foods (including things like a treat size bar of chocolate as WW suggested we allowed ourselves a treat each day so it didn't feel too much like we were depriving ourselves).
The crucial thing which has made a difference to me is working out my TDEE. Disappointingly, it is something like 1600 calories as I am short and have a sedentary lifestyle. It is not the 2000 calories that is "recommended" for a woman.

Other things which have helped are realising that:

• calories in really does have to be less than calories out. For me, this means I have to exercise. Reducing food alone isn't sufficient.
• if someone comes over for a coffee, I don't have to offer them home made cake or nice biscuits, the rest of which I will eat myself over the following days. If it is someone's birthday at work and they have brought cakes in, they will not be offended if I don't take a piece. I can just wish them a happy birthday without eating cake. These theories obviously extend to all other situations.
• my mouth is not an alternative to the bin. Children's leftovers can go in the actual bin. As can the last bit left in a tin/packet, the bit which is so small that it isn't worth putting it back in the cupboard or fridge. Yes, food waste is a bad thing but so was me being obese.

A couple of other things:

• if you don't like water from the tap, work out what you need to do so that you do like it. In my case, it is to fill a jug each day, add some slices of lemon and keep it in the fridge.
• you don't need cake, biscuits etc in the cupboard "just in case". "Just in case" of what? If a friend calls in unexpectedly, they are unlikely to be expecting food. If they are, then most of us live within a few minutes of a shop these days.

Sounds like your rules (including GoodToes edits) are a good idea. You need to do something that works for you, I don't think there is any diet that is right for everyone.

My approach is similar to yours, plus:

1. low sugar; don't worry about the fat
2. cut out choc, sweets, crisps completely as, like you, once I start I don't want to stop
3. although I try to snack healthily, there are times when I just want to eat "naughty" food. When I do, I try to replace chocolate with something a bit more nutritious, but which I really like eating, so that I do get some feeling of being rewarded. (It's almost always cheese, in my case)

Also, agree with Hardtoknow - if unhealthy food isn't in the house, it can't be eaten. It is easy in a house with a DH who is also dieting, and DCs young enough not to demand/buy their own crap. Much harder if there are other people unwittingly sabotaging you - eating out is a similar problem.

Good luck with your diet!

Right.

The Stevie Plan.

1. Keep an eating journal.
2. Cut out all obvious crap except for very special occasions (birthday, etc)
3. Only eat when genuinely hungry.
4. Aim for at least five a day.
5. Increase exercise.

Seems doable. Sound okay?

I don't know why, but I feel like I need to defend the awesomeness that is Cherry Pepsi Max

I don't see why all the hatred towards fizzy drinks? I mean... Some people smoke, a lot of people drink alcohol - Neither of these are 'good' for us, yet we do them as I assume, because we enjoy it?

Cutting out things you enjoy just seems a bit, well... un-fun and life's too short to limit yourself to stuff if you enjoy it. So why not have a can of fizzy drink in the evening?

Another useful site:

www.bda.uk.com/foodfacts/home

I cut a stone out simply by not drinking alcohol. I chucked out old bowls and plates and replaced with smaller ones so my portion sizes would be smaller. I make sure not to buy in lots of crap, but allow myself "light" digestives etc. i hated dieting, so just live now by my revised food-intake plan, eat healthily most of the time and some days allow myself treats, just in much smaller portions. I bought a steamer and put pretty much everything into it. It takes a LOT longer for the weight to come off that way, but it did start dropping off, which was awesome.

FFS, just eat less... There's no magic to it.

I think the reason that drinks with artificial sweeteners are frowned on is because, although calorie-free, they can be associated with the same unhealthy changes in the body as those caused by too much sugar, including type 2 diabetes:
care.diabetesjournals.org/content/32/4/688.full

That sounds doable stevie

Well Stevie wants to lose weight Fluffy and the reason why fizzy drinks are not brilliant is because they contain very high sugar or chemical sweeteners both trigger a craving for high salty foods therefore making it very hard to start a healthy weight loss diet.

Sorry florascotia we crossposted there Agree about the type 2 diabetes.

Those drinks are the reason why sooo many Americans are obese and it's happening here too.

Sounds to me like you need structure.

Why don't you try some small simple rules for a week or two?

EG

1. No eating between meals

Kind of depends what you think your weakest spot is. I'd suggest you think up one further rule to tackle your weakest spot and then try to do those 2 things for at least 2w maybe a month and see how you get on.

For me, portion size for dinners is a particular issue so I actually weigh it when i remember to be worried, 200g carbs, 150g meat as much veg as I want.

A small walk also makes a big difference for me. I don't find increasing it makes any difference but dropping it does. It's painless for me, I walk to work. You might be doing loads already, it's just a suggestion!

You might find you only need a few tweaks to lose a few pounds and keep them off.

The key though is not to regard your changes as temporary. If you drop your new habits, you also drop the benefits they give you.

My tip to you, is whenever you are craving something, drink a glass of cold water first.
Promise yourself that you can have the food after the water. I gaurantee you won't have nearly as much of the food item after you've filled your belly with water.

hi OP

I could have written your post.

I posted another question a while ago and someone suggested 5:2. If you search for 5:2 and have a look a the inspirational thread it really is amazing.

I did this for a few weeks convince it wouldn't work but it really did. Telling myself that I will eat that thing tomorrow really worked.

I had also tried every diet under the sun it seems and was also more heavy than I have ever been.

I haven't done it for a while as I've had a lot on but I am going to get back to it as I know it works.

the idea is you eat normally, but mindfully for 5 days per week and the other 2 you eat 500 cals only. It can be any two days and the 500 cals can be spread through out the day, or you can have them in one meal. I actually was surprised to find fasting quite easy and I buy the balanced for you ready meals in M&S that have the on the pack. You can basically eat whatever you want on the other days and I have found this the easiest way to lose weight.

The fact that the only thing I have to think about is when to fast means I'm not thinking everyday about what I'm eating and I have found it very liberating.

I have a long way to go, but I feel confident for the first time that I will get there. The 5:2 support thread is also amazing and the people on there are incredibly supportive.

This works for me and I hope you find something that does for you too.

good luck. xxx

I'm 46, about 5'7", I don't weigh myself but I'm usually a size 12, although clothes had recently been getting a bit too tight.

I have just done Juneathon (exercise for minimum 30 minutes every day in June).

I alternated running one day with a core strength and flexibility exercise youtube video the next. A few times I went out for a ride on my bike instead of running.

I swapped my usual work lunch (banana sandwich with real butter, packet of kettle chips, apple and satsuma) for Ryvita, hummus and lots of salad/crudites, two items of fruit. I stopped eating biscuits and crisps during the week. For breakfast I swapped toast and peanut butter with real butter for muesli or porridge with dates and/or banana. I haven't made any changes to dinner, except maybe smaller portions of potato, pasta or rice. But we have always tried to eat lots of vegetables and as little processed food as possible anyway.

I haven't struggled at all with this, if I fancy a couple of biscuits or half a bag of kettle chips with my wine at the weekend I have them. I have always had a can of Diet Coke every Friday lunchtime and still do. I still have one or two glasses of wine on Wednesday evenings, and I drink as much as I want at weekends.

After 30 days (plus a few in July now) I am visibly thinner, my 'saddlebags' have gone. DH says my arse and hips are thinner, and sadly I need new bras because my tits have shrunk.

It's been so effective that I'm continuing the changes to my diet and still trying to exercise at least every other day. Maybe I will lose some of the weight from around my face eventually, my son told me this morning I have nine chins

So that's my little regimen FWIW. But what I really want to know, OP, is what biscuits do you manage to eat half a packet of at a time? DH is gluten intolerant and refuses to buy expensive GF biscuits so makes his own. He likes to make them last because of the time and effort involved in making them.

I know you've said you don't want to do slimming world, but your description of what you want to eat sounds very like slimming world.

I like similar things to you. I lost weight through slimming world - loads of veg, potatoes, rice, 2 portions of cheese a day and one bar of chocolate a day. 2 stone gone in a few months. from 13-3 to 11-3. You don't have to join to follow the basic principles.

People on here suggesting to give up biscuits/chocolate or only eat it on your birthday... ha ha ha. Setting most British women up to fail with that advice.

The conflicting advice is because there's more than one way to skin a cat.

You can lose weight on different diets. Most of them fall into one of two broad categories though - lower calories or lower carbs.

Beyond that, some advice is about being healthy and some advice doesn't care. You can get yourself smaller while eating really unhealthily.

Within the low calorie spectrum, you could lose weight if you eat ANYTHING YOU LIKE - say you need 2000 calories to stay the same weight, if you eat 1500 calories a day of McDonalds and nothing else, you'll lose weight. You might get sky high blood pressure and malnutrition though!

Likewise if you lower carbs, you can lose weight without counting calories. If you eat tons of fried eggs and bacon, you'll lose weight. You might die of a heart attack though!

Most diets assume you want to get optimum nutrition though, so they tailor the above two principles to include maximum nutritional value. So you get stuff like brown rice, which is a good thing to include on a low calorie diet (full of fibre, fills you up) but would be a no-no on low-carb.

I would start off by getting a MyFitnessPal account and keeping track of what you eat. Try and make sure you're getting your 5-a-day and take it from there. Fruit does have a bunch of sugar in it, but if you can fit it into your calorie allowance then it's fine.

I've been doing the 5:2 diet for the past 6 weeks l. I don't weigh myself but I've certainly lost a dress size and found it really easy.

I've been using an app called myfitnesspal which has helped me track my calorie intake. It has a barcode reader which automatically tells you how many calories are in a product.

I also know people who've lost weight or kept to a healthy weight through 5:2 and MyFitnessPal. They both seem to work well.

I think pretty much everyone will agree that you should eat more veg.

X post with Goldenhen

I love food and chocolate. Fortunately I love exercise. So my game plan is just to do fuck loads of running and eat what I want. It has worked so far as I am a size 8. I know if I ever had to diet I just wouldn't have the willpower.