To find eating so bloody, utterly confusing?

[stevienickstophat]

Right, I've come to the belated conclusion that I need to lose a lot of some weight.

I don't want to do WW or Slimming World, or Atkins or any lo-carb stuff. Been there, done that, fatter than ever.

I find MFP far too time-consuming and confusing.

I just want to make sustainable changes and learn how to make good choices so that the weight comes off slowly and naturally and stays off.

But the advice these days is all so confusing, I end up staring in the fridge like a bunny in the headlights, and give up before I even start.

Eat fruit. Don't eat fruit, it's full of sugar.
Eat protein. But not too much red or processed meat.
Eat veg. But not carby veg.
Eat cheese. Don't eat more than a matchbox sized amount of cheese, it's full of fat and salt.
Eat full fat everything. Full fat everything is full of calories.
Fill up on brown carbs. Don't eat carbs.

I don't know which way is up any more. I've got to the point where I feel guilty for eating an apple.

So, how should a 41 year old, 12 stone 4, size 14 woman eat in order to lose weight long term, please?

I need unequivocal advice in words of one syllable.

TIA

[Goshthatsspicy]

One tiny thing. Just replace most of your evening meal with vegetables will help enormously. Use them as your base. Scatter what would have been your meal on top! If possible, do this at lunch too.
Roasted helps. Just bung them in the oven. Most vegetables taste better this way

[BeautifulBatman]

No, I'm not fat. Never have been. I've been skinny before - 10st 4 when I was very sick about 15 years ago. But now I'm just slim-ish.

[Goshthatsspicy]

Replace - ING *

[cailindana]

Why do you consider someone who wears the same size clothes as you to be fat Batman?

[florascotia]

OP Almost all very strict diet systems (low cal, low carb etc) will work in the short term, IF people stick to them - but not if they mix and match, obviously.

Have a look at this NHS/British Dietetic Association site to see pros and cons of each style of weight-loss eating: [http://www.nhs.uk/Livewell/loseweight/Pages/top-10-most-popular-diets-review.aspx]]

Longer-term weight control is a different issue. Purple's advice looks good - and easy to follow - however.

[florascotia]

working link:

www.nhs.uk/Livewell/loseweight/Pages/top-10-most-popular-diets-review.aspx

[capercaillie]

I've successfully lost several stone by eating healthily during week (no refined sugar, no pasta, no bread. Lots of veg etc) but being more relaxed at weekends - and eat what I want within reason. I've avoided cravings that way.

[BeautifulBatman]

Because in my example I'm a foot taller than them?

[MaidOfStars]

350 calories for lunch is fine, perhaps even a little low (IMO). I aim for 500-ish. I eat ready meals/pre-packed sandwiches and salads etc because it's easier to keep track of that stuff (I'll think about the salt and other baddies later).

[stevienickstophat]

That no-s things looks good.

Will check NHS link now...

[MaidOfStars]

Because in my example I'm a foot taller than them?

But a size 14 arse is a size 14 arse? Sure, someone shorter may look fatter, but are they actually fatter?

[Queenmarigold]

Nothing processed - nothing good for you ever came out of a shiny foil packet! And exercise.

[MaidOfStars]

Have you thought about cutting meat altogether. Good veggie food tends towards lower calorie, more veg etc.

For example, subbing mince for lentils in a spag bol will immediately reduce calorie and fat content.

[stevienickstophat]

Yes, I do pre-packed, but I can't eat sandwiches (gluten intolerance).

500 cals? I thought that was quite a lot.

But then I would stuff seven biscuits in my gob and not think about it, so what do I know?

[stevienickstophat]

I used to be vegetarian, but I do enjoy meat and I find veggie good hard to fill up on without the addition of about a ton of cheese, so it's counter productive from a weight loss perspective, for me.

[stevienickstophat]

Food, not good.

I do enjoy vegetarian meals, but tend to eat them when out or when cooking for just myself. I live with carnivores.

[FluffyPersian]

Stop eating crap and eat mindfully.

I've lost over 1 stone in 2 months and have gone to the gym precisely once, so it's all food and not exercise related weight loss.

I lost loads of weight on Slim Fast a few years ago and then again on the GI diet, but like you, I hate faffing and having to even scan in everything I eat into MFP irritates me. I wouldn't go near WW or SW because I'd have to measure stuff and know about points / syns etc, which again, irritate me.

I eat 3 meals a day, cut out rubbish and only snack when I'm hungry. I have no real idea of the calories I'm consuming each day as I'm trying to learn what my body wants, whether I'm hungry or not....

I've committed to this as a lifestyle change and am trying hard not to be obsessed with what the scales say (which is hard for me, as I've got a really controlling personality). For me, what's helped is writing about how I'm feeling each day in a weight loss blog and being honest with myself about what I eat and how I feel afterwards. Usually if I binged, I'd feel crap and 'give up', now I'm trying to take every day as it comes. By writing down my feelings, it's helped me to cope with stress and also untangle my unhealthy relationship with food.

For me:

1. I don't care if something is carby or not, if it's healthy, I eat it.
   
2. I eat cheese in moderation - sometimes more, sometimes less...
   
3. I eat a lot of fish and chicken and less red meat (but I do eat it)
   
4. I make healthy choices when I'm out and don't tend to eat starters or desserts
   

Oh, I also drink a lot of Cherry Pepsi Max - It's my vice and I refuse to give it up as I like it. 'Fizzy drinks aren't good for you' - Yup, maybe.. don't care as I love the stuff.

I've been an emotional eater for the last 15 years - When I get stressed or upset, I turn to food. I've been having counselling since October last year and for the last 3-4 months, we're discussing my relationship with food.

Despite a really stressful few months at work, for the first time in my life, I've not turned to food for comfort and I'm so proud of that.

I've got loads of really awesome healthy recipes so if you want any, just shout

[nilbyname]

Keep it simple-

Eat less, eat fresh, anything processed, sugary, avoid.

Eat off a smaller plate.

Drink lots of water and peppermint teA.

Move more- Fitbit was just the thing that got my very sedentary husband moving.

Make a sustainable choice for life, not a diet and not a fad!

Join a gym/class, and do it!

[MehsMum]

Stevie, I know that 7 biscuits thing.

I find losing weight really hard (and boring - I love my food!), but I managed to drop almost a stone a year or so ago by eating less in the way of junk (biscuits, crisps, cake) and exercising. I then went on holiday and put a lot of it back on, but I still weigh less than I did and am about to try cutting out the crap again, by not snacking.

[SaucyJack]

Yes, size 14 is fat when you are proper short (and I'd know!)

Your bone frame is not just shorter, it's narrower too so the width of a size 14 arse will have a lot more fat padding it out than the same size arse on a 6ft person.

[stevienickstophat]

I love the idea of keeping a food journal!

I work out a lot of my problems by writing them down - so why not this?

I can't believe I didn't think of that! Thank you!

[SylvanianCaracal]

There is a much-quoted piece of advice that somebody said "Eat food, not too much, mostly plants" and I think it does boil down to something like that. My take on it all is there is always going to be flip-flopping advice about what individual foods are good and bad for you so I try to:

• eat a wide variety of food, always try new things, get different things each supermarket shop and not always the same stuff.
  

• eat "real" food so proper butter, full fat cheese, stuff made from raw ingredients (whenever I have time), and the highest quality meat and fish I can buy (free range and organic) but because it's expensive, less of it. This means we eat veggie about half the time, and red meat about once a week
  

Full-fat everything can be more calorific, but it fills you up more and tastes much better, so you get in the habit of eating less.

Many "low-fat" foods aren't actually less calorific though, or not much less, as they contain added sugar to improve the taste. I bought low-fat salad dressing from M&S once by accident, it was quite nice so I checked the ingredients, only to find it was about 60% honey. So not low-cal at all. Just low-fat. Also fats are essential for your body. Don't avoid fat.

So basically, don't worry about whether potatoes or cheese are good or bad this week, just include all types of food but make them unprocessed/quality/fresh/smaller amounts where possible.

• learn to eat when you're hungry and not eat more than you need. That sounds joyless but honestly it isn't once you get into it. Start by having a smaller amount of main course then waiting 20 minutes and then you can have more, or pudding, if you're hungry. You probably won't be that hungry after all (if you're eating real food as above). You just get used to eating less and realise that it isn't a deprivation, in fact food is much more enjoyable when you've let yourself get a bit hungry.
  

• don't ban anything. If you like cake and chocolate and wine, have it, but aim to get something you really like and have smaller amounts. So instead of eating lots of cheap flavourless biscuits, have a really top quality chocolate truffle and take your time to really enjoy it.
  

I haven't been eating normally recently because of medication that makes me crave sugary food, and it's been hard. I'm coming off it soon and I'm genuinely really looking forward to going back to eating as described above. Don't think of it as a diet or a deprivation, but just having the best and most delicious food and letting your body lead the way.

[sebsmummy1]

What do you like eating?

[stevienickstophat]

Sounds sensible, meh'smum.

Some great advice here, thank you.

[BeautifulBatman]

Maid they might be as wide as me but they won't be as long as me. Just as someone who is 5'2 and a size 10 wouldn't be considered as skinny as I would if I were a size 10.