To find eating so bloody, utterly confusing?

[stevienickstophat]

Right, I've come to the belated conclusion that I need to lose a lot of some weight.

I don't want to do WW or Slimming World, or Atkins or any lo-carb stuff. Been there, done that, fatter than ever.

I find MFP far too time-consuming and confusing.

I just want to make sustainable changes and learn how to make good choices so that the weight comes off slowly and naturally and stays off.

But the advice these days is all so confusing, I end up staring in the fridge like a bunny in the headlights, and give up before I even start.

Eat fruit. Don't eat fruit, it's full of sugar.
Eat protein. But not too much red or processed meat.
Eat veg. But not carby veg.
Eat cheese. Don't eat more than a matchbox sized amount of cheese, it's full of fat and salt.
Eat full fat everything. Full fat everything is full of calories.
Fill up on brown carbs. Don't eat carbs.

I don't know which way is up any more. I've got to the point where I feel guilty for eating an apple.

So, how should a 41 year old, 12 stone 4, size 14 woman eat in order to lose weight long term, please?

I need unequivocal advice in words of one syllable.

TIA

Stevie I think that approach is fine. ObiWan's instructions may work, but you need something that works for you and takes into account what you enjoy, or it won't be sustainable. I'm the same fwiw, I have to have coffee and breakfast or I can't concentrate in the morning.

You can have coffee and tea should have said you can drink before 12pm the main think about this is you can only eat in an eight hour window.

12pm - 7pm was recommended by my friend and it works great.

The 6 ingredient is so hard you think you can buy your usual food but you can't it makes you think about food. It also limits your calories without needing to do calorie counting

It's not about calories so much as becoming more food aware and doing more cooking. Involving yourself more with food.

So up to now, the Stevie Plan is:

1. Keep an eating journal.
2. Aim for five a day.
3. Avoid obvious crap as a general rule.
4. Allow myself a diet coke in the afternoon to stave off biscuititus.

Sounding ok so far?

1. No eating between meals. Ever.

I am a 41 YO 5 foot 7 size 12/14 woman. I was 12 stone 2 but am currently about halfway through losing a stone or so with slimming world. It sounds like we have a lot in common OP. You don't want to do slimming world, fair enough.

I think the only diet/way of eating that hasn't been mentioned is the Harcombe Diet. It sounds like it would fit in well with your likes and dislikes apart from you wouldn't be allowed potatoes and could only have a tiny amount of dark chocolate until you are at your desired weight.

There are 3 basic rules:

No sugar or processed food. Mostly low carb except one small portion of oats or brown rice per day. Once you have gone past an initial inductin phase you can have as much cheese as you like within reason (you are not supposed to binge on stuff obviously, but a few match boxes would be fine).

Don't eat fat and carbs in the same meal

Don't eat foods that cause cravings (generally of the bread/sugar/biscuit variety - ie don't eat things where you find it hard not to binge on should you have it in the house).

You can find more info on the web or she sells a variety of books for not very much.

I think generally low carb, but not fanatically so works best for me. I can't imagine not having chips, bread, cake, potatoes ever, but accept that I can't binge on these things regularly without gaining weight. But if you low carb, it means that then you can have lots of lovely cheese and creamy cauliflower cheese type things.

I would try to avoid artificial sweeteners, and drink unsweetened drinks mostly (water, tea, coffee, wine).

Exercise is also good - best to pick something you enjoy so it doesn't feel like a chore - I go for walking/cycling/swimming and running. If you are a bit more active, it is good for your health and you can get away with eating more - on SW I don't think I have ever had less than 200 syns a week (I count weekly rather than daily as it works best for me) which is about twice what SW suggest and I have always lost.

Probably helps that I don't go in for the massive portion sizes that SW encourage either - that's another thing to watch - restaurant and takeaway portion sizes are much bigger than what most people should be eating - from Paul McKenna you will be aware of the importance of stopping eating when you are full, not when you have finished the food on your plate. You don't need to go hungry, but when you start to really think about portion sizes, you will see how easy it is to overeat but conversly how you could easily reduce the amount of calories you consume by simply only eating when hungry and stopping when full.

I think you should eat between meals if you are genuinely hungry - I do, but I eat something that's healthy.

The worry if you don't, is that when you DO eat your lunch / dinner, you're really starving, so order too much or put too much on your plate and end up eating more than you would do.

I appreciate people are different, but maybe just see how you're feeling and if you are hungry, then that's your bodys way of saying 'Eat something'?

Train for a race - this is an excellent motivator and even better than losing weight, you'll get fit and feel amazing. Although you WILL lose weight.

True, Fluffy...

Thanks, Work to Live, but I really want to try to avoid diets if I can.

Glad it works for you, though.

Sorry I didn't see your comment about the diet coke - I agree that a diet coke would be better than 5 biscuits, but I'm in the 'diet drinks are evil' camp so would suggest you try and cut it out long term. Or try sparking water with ice and lemon - sometimes it's just the fizz that you want.

Also forgot to say that I'm not sure if some of what Zoe Harcombe says in bunkum, but the three main rules are sensible.

Stevie - from your list of foods you like, they nearly all seem pretty good to me, so I wonder if it's more about portion control?

I'd say make sure you have tons of salad and green veg on your plate or available as a side dish for every evening meal. Fill up on that, and keep your cheese/meat/starchy carb portions smaller and more restricted.

I learnt that not snacking makes me miserable and turns me into so.done constantly thinking about how I want food but can't have it. So I allow myself snacks but only low-cal healthy-ish things, eg cornichons, crudités, little anchovies, rice cakes, fruit etc.

I restrict myself MUCH less at weekends/ special events / holidays / barbecues etc.

The Hairy Dieters cookbooks are really good, if you like cooking

Volume! I used to have granola for breakfast but a huge portion
Now I have a scattering of it but with berries and greek yog. Or eggs and bacon which really fills me up

I could have cheese on toast or I could swap that for more volume - huge salad with chicken, feta etc

Have found I need that to keep me full. Soup also good for me, the broth types like Vietnamese pho, miso or tom yum

Portion control is an issue.

I've done the healthy snacks thing in the past, but the problem is I can't stop thinking about them, so I'll end up scoffing a million oatcakes, a jar of olives, rice cakes and hummus etc, just because they're there.

No self control, I tell you

Oh, and I love Diet Coke (and most calorie free fizzy drinks) and am convinced it has no negative effect on my appetite/mood/food cravings. Quite the opposite. That is my own experience.

If I end up being poisoined by the aspatarmine or whatever that's another matter, but I'm too far gone to worry about it now.

stevenickstophat,
My advice is pick one diet, whether it be WW, SW Atkins whatever and stick to that one.
These diets are designed by nutritionists are are balanced, so if you have bits of one diet and bits of another you could end up with malnutrition.

And exercise helps all diets ....

I eat out a fair bit too, which doesn't help matters.

Eat food. Not too much. Mainly plants.

This is a well known quote and says it all really. I interpret the "eat food" bit to mean eat natural stuff, not processed crap. And certainly never "diet" rubbish.

So...

1. Avoid obvious crap.
2. Replace biscuits with diet coke.
3. Aim for at least five a day.
4. Have a healthy snack when truly hungry.
5. Try to up the exercise.

I lost a lot of weight making very small changes. If I had gone overnight from my diet then to my diet now, I couldn't have sustained it.

Make small, manageable changes. For example, use fry light instead of oil. Once that feels ok, add another change into your life (I.e. always take the stairs).

My view is that we are all different, and what works for one person may not work for someone else. I don't eat sugar, gluten or grains, and that works for me.

And keep an Eating Journal.

why is it a problem to be ravenous at mealtimes? I think genuine hunger is a good thing, not a bad one.

OP -
2 hours of exercise every day, eat what you want as long as it's healthy. I would cut out all meat and dairy for at least 5 days of the week.
Brown carbs only - brown rice, brown pasta, couscous and sweet potatoe only. Beans are great. Do days and days of research and work out whats right for you.
I feel like being love to be hyperbolic about fruit. Its okay to eat fruit - just no too much.

Try taking a look at www.fitterfood.com

Sensible stuff, healthy recipes and most importantly a good focus on creating the right mindset with regards to food, emotions and hormonal balance.

I used to nosedive into the cupboard every afternoon/evening/night before I came across this site. I did a 28 day guided challenge with them (via a private Facebook group for support) and the difference was amazing. Yes, I lost a bit of weight and all important inches but overall I have a far healthier relationship with food and my mind was 100 times clearer, too.

I just use normal oil in a spray bottle and a splash of stock when simmering onions etc to stop it burning - I don't bother with frylight.

This one - I just top it up when it runs out.

you need to do a LOT of exercise to work off calories, so it is broadly correct that you lose weight in the kitchen and tone things up by moving around. But of course all moving around is exercise and helps. If you run triathlons you can eat as much as you like, in fact you'll struggle to eat enough, but that isn't most of us.

the anti-carb brigade usually can't tell the difference between guzzling cake and eating a (reasonable) portion of pasta. You need slow-release complex carbs (also found in veg) but obviously you don't need too much of them.

portion control - a reasonable portion is a lot less than most of us think. Food should not be served in heaps.

no food is 'naughty' or a 'syn' (FFS...) we aren't in the nursery. The only things no-one should ever eat are crisps (wasteful fat and air), cola drinks (toilet cleaner) and anything labelled 'diet'. That means you do NOT eat 'innocent' stuff!!!! (their smoothies in particular are FULL of sugar and so provide loads of empty calories). Remember that any low fat food has lots of sugar added to make it taste acceptable. Don't eat such crap, eat smaller portions of the normal stuff. The diet industry are as good at dodgy advertising as the cosmetic industry, and their products are about as effective. That is, not at all.

booze is sugar and is empty calories. You know what to do.

it is summer. Make friends with someone with a veg plot or allotment. They will have a glut of lovely stuff. (come round to my house!)

don't let it rule your life.