to withdraw from an interview?

[BirlingDay]

Namechanged just in case...

I applied for a job recently it's minimum wage and part time if that's relevant.

I am a huge worrier and conflict really bothers me, the job itself is not one that will put me in those sort of situations but I'm very concerned that colleagues may do. It's a small office with long-serving employees and while I may be over-thinking it, I can foresee possible difficult situations.

Is it reasonable to withdraw now rather than put myself through what I think may be a difficult time? Or am I being wimpy?

Are you basing this worry on any evidence? Because if not then how are you going to NOT think the same thing about any potential job? I don't see how longevity of service is any indicator of possible conflict - how do you see that?

It's fine for you to withdraw from interview if you have reason to think the job won't be right for you, rather that than waste everyone's time.

However, I must admit I don't understand your reasoning? What makes you think there will be conflict in the team? Do you know them already?

I currently work in a very small team most of whom had been there for years and on the whole I find them very pleasant. I can understand what you mean though. I would go along anyway - if they offer it to you, ask to meet the other employees.

BirlingDay have you met your potential colleagues? Why do you think there might be conflict? What difficult situations can you foresee?

Remember, you can always leave if you don't like it, but it seems strange to not take a job in case you won't like it later.

Also, at the moment you don't have a decision to make because you have not been offered a job. I would go for the interview, get the job and then you have a real decision to make.

If it really bothers you, you could ask for a chemistry meeting with your team so you can get an idea of what they're like.

It seems to me that you are anxious about this generally and are looking for excuses. If that's the case, it's fine - but much easier to deal with if you recognise the real issue.

I went for a visit prior to applying and I overheard some of the staff talking about me. It wasn't negative or rude but left me wondering how professional the workplace would be and whether it would be gossipy and cliquey.

Long serving employees is a sign of a good employer imho.

I would much rather work somewhere like that than somewhere with a high turnover of staff. That indicates more of an issue.

Do the interview, it's good experience and decide if they offer you the job.

If they don't employ new people on a regular basis, of course it is going to be a bit of a talking point, when they are holding interviews for a new position.

As you just said yourself, what you overheard was neither negative nor rude. Your potential new work mates were showing a very natural, normal interest in the person who may possibly soon be sharing their office. As pps have said, have a bash at the interview, decide whether you want to accept the job only if you get offered it.

I think it is perfectly normal for a team a work to talk about prospective new members of that team.

If you are going to turn down jobs on this kind of basis, then you will never find work.

My advice about these kind of things is always the same. Get the job, then worry about what you're going to do. At the moment you're agonising about something that is beyond your control. Imagine if you didn't get it and you'd wasted all this time making your decision. Go for the interview. Get the job. Then decide whether to take it. Good luck.

Before making any decisions that are largely based on panic about an unknown situation, it might be better to calmly sit down and answer the following questions for yourself.

Do you need this job?

How long have you been looking for a job?

Have you applied for anything else while you've been waiting for this one?

Are you doing anything to resolve your anxiety?

You're over-thinking it. You won't find a workplace with people where they don't talk. It's not even like they were saying anything unpleasant. I expect you could foresee difficult situations anywhere, perhaps more so in a bigger organisation. Go to the interview and try to stop worrying. Facing your (largely unfounded) fears is the only way forward.

I think your nerves are getting to you. I get like this as well especially when everyone has been working there for years ect. It may be a place you will love ior hate but you will never know until you check it out so I say go. You might not even get the job anyway

I have worked in that sort of office before and never would again. With a core of long serving staff where other people seemed to come and go pretty quickly. Other people were treated like outsiders. The managing directors treated the staff like they were teenage children. And the long serving staff were treated much better, if they made an accusation against a new staff member it would be accepted without question even if it was totally untrue. Companies like that tend not to have proper HR systems in place and often manage purely on the basis of personality rather than ability to do your job. I've also found in places like that bullying behaviour tends to get tolerated, because if the person doing it is a long serving member of staff who is well in with the boss then there's nowhere else to escalate it to. No independent HR dept. Lots of very territorial people who didn't want someone else coming in and performing better than them. An expectation that you should suddenly become immersed in the workplace and that they are your new best friends and social life and a resentment of your life outside work ever being prioritised over them. Very claustrophobic and not the sort of place where you just do your job and go home.

I understand your concerns and especially if you're not an assertive person then it's a difficult environment to go into. You do sound rather like me and I struggled with it.

The worst place I watched them drive 3 staff members into mental health and drink problems. I wouldn't do it again.

Your gut is telling you that this is probably the wrong situation for you and I would go with it. I suspect a lot of people telling you it would be fine probably aren't the sort of people who would struggle in that situation.

Thank you for all replies, it really does help to ask for another perspective.
There is no HR as its such a small office.
I'm going to do a pros/cons for this so I can try to work out if I'm just lacking confidence and having a wobble or if it really could be a tough few years ahead.
Thanks for the advice.