WWUD? DS doesn't want to come on holiday with us.

[Nonplussedmum]

Next year we going away to stay with friends who live on a tropical paradise, stopping over for three days in a famous city on the way but DS2 who will be 18 by then doesn't want to come because he thinks one of our friends is very bossy and will over organise us and because we're staying in her house we won't be able to say no to her plans (she's already planning our itinerary). She is very kind and excited we're coming but she is bossy, I think (maybe erroneously) that I can be honest and say we don't want to do a whistle stop tour of every attraction on her beautiful island and all the other islands/countries in 12 days we're there.
I'm about to book the flights DH thinks I should just book a ticket for DS2 and once he's there he'll enjoy it I'm not so sure. But I do think he's mad to turn down such an amazing holiday. DS2 is very well travelled in Europe so perhaps a little blazay about travelling and doesn't see it as exciting I only travelled more extensively in my late 20's and never out do Europe, he's not a sulky person and there are children there of his age.
On the plus side if he doesn't come we'll fly premium economy and we'll book ourselves into a suite in one of the world best and most beautiful hotels when we stay in the city whereas if he comes it's economy class and just a normal room in the same hotel.
WWUD?

OMG, OP, I can't believe that you used that example.

Just awful.

By the time my brother was 17 he chose to stay at home, I thought he was silly, but it was fine, his choice.

Perhaps he could join you for the city break bit only, maybe with his girlfriend/a friend?

I think his decision has to be final, whatever it is.

I'm glad he's going and hope you all have a lovely time!

It is hard when your 'children' stop holidaying with you. It's a little 'loss' as it were, the same as any step your child takes away from you; not believing in Santa or that first time they drive off on their own. It's a 'preview' of when we will be 'secondary' in their lives (although, that's the way it should be with adult children). We devote so much of our time and 'heart' into raising them that it's a bit sad when they step into adulthood, although we're so proud to see them 'fly' at the same time.

Although we've holidayed with my parents since I married and had children (joint holidays, as it were) the last 'family holiday' that was just my parents and my siblings was when I was in my early 20s, before marriage and families took first place in our lives. My parents took us to Hawaii for a 'last family holiday together, just us'. At 18 I would have cringed at some of the 'cheesy' things we did on that trip, at 24 I had a ball! It was wonderful and amazing how we had learnt to appreciate having fun with our parents. Now Dad is gone, and Mum has dementia. The sibs and I still laugh about that last trip and the fun we had.

I'm glad your son has decided to come - I was going to say you should show him a few pics and talk through the trip before he made his final decision. This sounds like a really special trip and I do think he might have regretted missing out. I feel some people's reactions were a but harsh as well, I don't think the op sounds like she babies the son or anything.

hmm for me it wasn't the babying thing. Just the casual reference to Agoraphobia, and the fact that son doesn't want to spend time with the bossy friend going completely over OPs head. A holiday doesn't always trump that. So whilst its good he now wants to go, its still good to listen to a young person's voice when they don't particularly want to be around someone. They know their own mind.

Hopefully he will be left to spend time with the friend's son nearer his own age if he decides he wants to and they can go out and about, rather than be up bright and early for whatever event the bossy friend has planned and then having parents say oh but you MUST come.

My DM is from a beautiful Caribbean island and did that to me the 1st time we went, I hated it. I love it there now, and still went back afterwards with parents but because I was older there was none of that rigidly planned daytrips/visits to friends triple my age to contend with, spent time with my parents but also with others, doing stuff I liked