Card for SIL

5 replies

Monkeyhoofs · 07/07/2015 19:46

Am I?

Have been with my partner for 5 years. We are both female. We have always signed cards (birthday/christmas etc) for each others siblings..ie: she'll sign a card I buy for my brother, I'll sign in her brother's card etc.

My partner's sister in-laws birthday last week ( I know sister in-law, get on very well). My partner buys a card that has 'Happy Birthday sister in-law' written on it. and as a consequence says that I should buy her my own one as it would be 'odd' for me to sign it because of the sentiment.

I was really rather upset by this, I found it very 'excluding' and I would not exclude my partner in this way. My partner is (is separated, not divorced) married to a man and when I asked her if she would include him on the card if they were still together, she said yes.

I'm really upset. Am I making a fuss over nothing?

OP posts:

thefourgp · 07/07/2015 19:57

Yanbu. It's a card. People look at them for 10 seconds and bin them a day or two later. There's no value to you buying a separate card. She should just put your name on it. My fiance and I sign all cards from both of us regardless of who they are for. X

Anon4Now2015 · 07/07/2015 20:01

I think it's a bit silly (and a waste of money) to send separate cards because it says "sister in law" on it. After all she's an adult (the SIL) and gets the sentiment even if the wording isn't literally correct.

Having said that, I'm not sure it's excluding as such. If she would only have included her husband on it because they are married then perhaps she just takes the wording on cards very literally. If you didn't generally co-sign cards then maybe I'd feel differently.

If that's the case then I think the two of you need a rule that when purchasing cards you assume they are from both of you and with that in mind select one with wording that you are both comfortable with

Original poster

Monkeyhoofs · 07/07/2015 20:10

Thank you for the replies. When I quizzed her on her choice of card (if she thought it would be 'odd' for me to sign it, then why did she buy that particular one) she said that she hadn't realised/hadn't thought at the time of purchase that the card would be so 'excluding.'

She's not a thoughtless person, quite the opposite.......

OP posts:

Purplepoodle · 07/07/2015 20:12

Bit weird, even if not married I wouldsign OH name

redshoeblueshoe · 07/07/2015 20:31

DH did this (before we were married) I was livid - I felt it did exclude me, after all surely its from both of you.

Flip