To be so embarrassed about going back to work / thinking of resigning?

[KateSpade]

So, I posted a thread last week about me being spoken to like shit because I'm a woman in a primarily facing role,

Well Friday I was in on my own, and after not being able to get in the building because someone else had taken my keys home - a customer couldn't get in for 1hr - between 8-9am. So I totally understand how unacceptable that was,

a few hours later he 'gave me a shouting at' in his own words.

Later another customer was using a piece of equipment he wanted and threw his arms up & down & again - shouted at me.

So, I burst into tears, I was shaking, it was awful. He rang another store, spoke to our area manager, who I have a meeting with on Monday to 'investigate' the issue.

So, I spent Friday in tears, my dad phoned & caught me upset - so came down & shouted at the man. very embarrassed about that,
But it was awful - I'm so embarrassed about the whole thing, I know I'll see the man on Monday, along with my meeting!

Now, this is a very regular occurrence - many but not all as abusive as he was, I'm debating going to the meeting and resigning?
My contract ends on September anyway - maternity contract.

I'm mortified - scared about getting a telling off (I understand my dad shouldn't have come down - i didn't ask him, it was a kind of phone down - no telling him) and bothered that the company will bend over backwards to apologise when quite frankly apart from the delay in opening, he doesn't deserve an apology!

So, I know you MN'ers always have wise words of wisdom -

Good luck today

The meeting went fairly well & now the Area Manager is deciding weather to go for disciplinary action or just leave it.

I've told him the things I'd accept a disciplinary for and the things I wouldn't, so he'll notify me in writing & post it today, which sounds like he's already made up his mind.

What on earth are they disciplining you for?! What exactly did you do wrong? They should be apologizing to you and reviewing their policies and procedures!

I don't understand how this has become a disciplinary issue rather than an issue to do with the company's failings.

I'm totally with you culture I said to him I'd even accept a disciplinary for my father coming down, but would not be accepting anything else, especially nothing to do with that dickhead.

When I stated the point about the duty of care, ect as mentioned he looked at me like id asked a really stupid question, then went on to say 'this isn't about that at the moment'

God knows what's going to happen?

In the meeting did the manager specify exactly what issues or incidents were being considered under the disciplinary action? Did the manager tell you which part of your employment contract etc you'd not complied with? Did they give you anything in writing? Was it for making a personal call (to your dad) in work time?

I just can't see how you can have a meeting and be left so unclear as to what is going on. You aren't responsible for your dad's actions - you didn't ask him to come down and wade in.

This whole thing should be about what the company needs to do to give you your legally required break and how to keep you safe as a lone worker. It shouldn't be about you facing disciplinary action.

He didn't specify which incidents were under the disciplinary, just informed me that he was going to decide weather to go for a disciplinary or just leave it & asked for my account.

In writing they gave me a confirmation of my suspension whilst he was investigating!

I have co-workers who have done some stuff that could get them into serious trouble, but he doesn't know about it - I obviously didn't mention anything about that at all, but it grates on my nerves, that they take the piss and I happen to get caught in something & I get in trouble!

& sorry, no it's nothing to do with taking a personal call in work hours, like I've said before - they have a 'as long as you don't take the piss rule'

I agree with culture.

Personally I think they're in the wrong and know it. In an attempt to disguise this, they're deflecting the blame onto you. Ask them again for their disciplinary policy, grievance policy, lone working policy and staff handbook. Bring a formal, written grievance against them for not protecting you from bullying and not sticking to the law regarding work breaks. Point out to them that bringing unnecessary disciplinary actions is an instance of workplace bullying.

Otherwise, they'll bring a disciplinary against you and that will be on your employment record. You're covering mat leave so you won't be there for long enough for it to leave your record before you have to start looking for a new job. Sling the book at them.

Thanks Gabilan I totally agree, with everything you've said, I've explained my point to them and I'm very proud of myself that I did it with dignity and without crying.

My manager wrote up noted from the meeting and his grammar was terrible, now I ain't no English teacher but I had to stop myself from pointing his mistakes out, he wrote 'not never' for one, which was awful!

I meant

So, I've just gone to lock the front door & found a letter shoved through,

It's telling me I have to attend a meeting for disciplinary action - two of the issues I will accept. Letting a non authorised person drive the fork lift - I shouldn't have done it & accept that.

And signing myself in 10 minutes early, very picky but they've looked at the CCTV and informed me that I wasn't their at the time I wrote myself down, it was a stressful morning and I obviously got it wrong.

Now the third thing is the issue I said I wouldn't accept - the issue with the customer being a dickhead.

Their are two whiteness statements, one saying from a fellow member off staff from the Burnley store, saying I was unprofessional and cocky, and one from a customer saying the complete opposite - saying I was being abused and intimidated by a very irate customer.

I have to attend a meeting on Tuesday,

Now, I'm not sure where to go from here, I've said all along that I wouldn't accept a disciplinary for that, but I'm bothered about finding further employment and money wise - handling money until I find a job.

(I do have around £3k saved up - but this is for a specific thing and I don't want to 'waste' my savings, so to speak)

What would you do if you were in my position?!

You need to find your outrage right now. Get on the phone to ACAS tomorrow. Go back and read the advice about demanding the various relevant policies from your workplace, and about putting in a bullying grievance. They are finding anything they can to fire you. Or possibly they're trying to coordinate a constructive dismissal situation and don't intend to even need to fire you.

Thank you snow forgive the niece question, but what's constructive dismissal?

It's bullying someone until they resign, in a situation in which you want to sack someone but legally cannot. Constructive dismissal is also illegal, but harder to prove. It's surprisingly common and often goes unpunished. It's tough for an employee to fight because by the time you've left, you've been so badly bullied you just want out and don't have the wherewithal to fight anymore.

I would have thought that they need to give you more notice than 3 days for a meeting. Does the letter say its an investigatory meeting or a disciplinary ? In addition to stating exactly what the manager wants to investigate, the letter should also say you are entitled to bring along a friend or union rep. Copies of relevant policies should also be included in the letter or at least mention where they can be found, eg on line. If any one of these has been omitted, you can insist on a postponement until such time as all this is in place.
Don't know if ACAS is open on a Saturday but their website will have lots of information. I don't suppose you are a member of a union ?

Thanks gabilan

And DPotter the meeting coming up is a disciplinary meeting, I'm not allowed to bring a person unless they are a member of Staff - which I know isn't correct,

I'm going to write down a list of questions and ask him the reasons, but I'm going to go on the ACAS website and look through the information, maybe print some things off.

I'm really not sure what to do, moving forward.

You have the absolute right to bring along who ever you wish - union rep, solicitor, secretary general of the united nations, the Dhali Lama. Maybe asking your Dad might be a bit of a red rag given the past events however you could take him too if you wanted. Unless the law on this has changed (it's been a few years since I was involved in disciplinary hearings) they are setting themselves up for a fall - they have to follow procedure, otherwise they are laying themselves open to challenge at Industrial Tribunal - which will cost them whatever happens.

Depending upon what you find on the ACAS site, I would have a response on the desk first thing Monday morning, stating your challenges to the meeting on Tuesday - insufficient time, restriction of your supporter. If you are OK to go ahead with the meeting - there is nothing to stop you to agreeing to an early meeting but then you have recorded your dissatisfaction. And please please please whatever you do, take a supporter someone who is confident and will take no nonsense and refuse to take part unless the person of your choice is allowed not only in the room but to take part. And take notes - lots of them , ask for clarification, summarise - "so what you are saying is..blah blah".

You could table an alternative to disciplinary - the relationship has broken down, faults and omissions on both sides, short time span left of contract so you agree to leave with immediate effect but they pay you until contract finishes (lump sum up front) and provide basic reference (confirm they employed you between dates and salary). That way you're out of there but with reference, money and they don't have any more hassle. Sorry I don't recall if you have raised a grievance - if not do so as it gets them to have to formally listen to your side of the situation.

Hope this helps - sounds like you have your head screwed on.

Potter that would be the dream
Situation,

If you don't mind helping, how should I write it? What exactly should I put down?

And if they say no, is their a come back from me?

Constructive dismissal can only be claimed if you have worked for a company for more than two years (give it a Google) - I had a company push me out of a job I loved but I started working for them just one month after they changed the ruling to this... couldn't do them for constructive dismissal.
The ten minutes signing in issue is ridiculous! How petty!
As for the forklift issue, yeah - health & safety matters, but I don't suppose there has ever been a risk assessment for you lone working, facing abusive customers, or a protocol to follow if someone does become abusive..? Worth checking it out really because IME employers like to really throw as much shit as possible on a person, even if they've only ever made one mistake.
Are they trying to get rid of you early, save themselves a few weeks worth of wages?

Don't go down without a fight, even if it's not about needing the money, you may be asked in the future to give references, usually your most recent employment.
Besides, it's the principle - don't feel like you have to agree to anything or sign anything there & then.
Record it all on a dictaphone.

I'm not sure what they're trying to accomplish Cake I've accepted the two errors, signing in wrong and the fork lift, they are black and white errors,

I know the customer has kicked off, but the main elements of it were out of my control - like the forklift and I did my best - it was the wrong decision, I admit but was trying to minimise him getting angry.

Kate I would start a grievance procedure. that way they will have to address all your complaints before they do any disciplinary. I am guessing you work for a builders or plumbers merchants ?

That's a good idea, May I need to get everything written down before my meeting, and decide what I'm going to do.

Kate, if it's a fairly large company it should have an HR department or at least someone who is responsible for HR. I would be on the phone to them first thing Monday morning, giving them the facts of the situation and asking for the policies. Get their email address and email a summary of the conversation to them (the only reason for not doing it by email or letter straight away is timescale, but however you communicate, make sure you have evidence of it).

Then bring a formal written grievance for:
Failing to comply with the law regarding working hours
Failing to protect you against bullying by customers/ inadequate lone working policy
Bringing a disciplinary without going through their own procedures properly or going through the legal necessities (specifically with regard to timescales)

Keep that as factual as possible - times, dates, be utterly professional and rational but gather your evidence. Hopefully that will scare them so much they'll pay you off to make you go away and give you a clean reference.

Oh and yes, tell HR by phone and in writing that you want the grievance dealt with before the disciplinary.

You need to get angry about this, don't lay down and take it!!
Either phone HR or phone a union and get a rep. You are legally allowed to take anyone you like into the meeting, not who they dictate. You need everything written down in a factually correct, emotionally detached timeline.

They are looking for anything they can to sack you. They are trying to intimidate you into resigning. You have every right to take them to a tribunal!!!