To say i do not want to be a bridesmaid...

[Itsallaboutme3]

Close friend has asked me to be a bridesmaid i said yes. Having thought about it i have too much going on to be a bridesmaid. I have 3 children and bride wants all bridesmaids to stay at hers the night before and go straight to venue. My 3 dc are invited so how am i going to get them ready and to venue.
Aibu to say i do not want to be a bridesmaid? Honestly.....

I understand. I don't like being away from my children. I also find weddings bloody awful. As for a girlie sleepover the night before uggghh.... Run a mile op xx

vvega yes of course people can change their mind but there really should be a good enough excuse. OP doesn't want to sleep over, so why doesn't she just say? she doesn't have to give up being bridesmaid.
Okay you wouldn't care if a bridesmaid pulled out, but I would be really upset. I would choose my bridesmaids very carefully, they'd be good friends, so of course I would be a little upset if they pulled out because of their children.
And it's clear from this thread that a lot of people would also be upset so why take the risk?
I just hate how people think their lives have to go on stop when they have children. Adults with children are not just mum/dad. They are their own identity.

To be fair, people have other commitments apart from kids, parents, work, pets, liking their own bed..
still don't know what you'd do on a sleepover before the big day?

YANBU.

Who knew that being BM meant pre-wedding night stay? I've been a BM twice and didn't have to do it and would have thought it odd if this was a requirement.

Why don't you just say to her that you can't stay the night before and you'll understand if she doesn't want you to be a BM, but you'd still like to if you can go on the day.

I really don't think it's about life stopping when you become a parent stressedoutnan, it's just about considering what you do from your families perspective as well as just your own.

Are you very anxious about leaving them?

Really not a good enough reason, though maybe a good enough excuse! I would see through it as a bride though and think most would.

I am sure your DH would be perfectly able to look after your DC.

Wow all the messages saying if you were the bride you would be upset and so on.....i am 34 years old and have 3 children who, if i am away from for a night, yes i do miss. Sleep overs is not really my thing but it seems i am a minority

Whether OP is BU depends I think if dress has already been measured up.
Still I cannot fathom why BMs must attend night before. Even though I've had a wedding maybe I'm not cut out to understand them.