To say i do not want to be a bridesmaid...

[Itsallaboutme3]

Close friend has asked me to be a bridesmaid i said yes. Having thought about it i have too much going on to be a bridesmaid. I have 3 children and bride wants all bridesmaids to stay at hers the night before and go straight to venue. My 3 dc are invited so how am i going to get them ready and to venue.
Aibu to say i do not want to be a bridesmaid? Honestly.....

[Dunkyourcustardcream]

I understand. I don't like being away from my children. I also find weddings bloody awful. As for a girlie sleepover the night before uggghh.... Run a mile op xx

[stressedoutnan]

vvega yes of course people can change their mind but there really should be a good enough excuse. OP doesn't want to sleep over, so why doesn't she just say? she doesn't have to give up being bridesmaid.
Okay you wouldn't care if a bridesmaid pulled out, but I would be really upset. I would choose my bridesmaids very carefully, they'd be good friends, so of course I would be a little upset if they pulled out because of their children.
And it's clear from this thread that a lot of people would also be upset so why take the risk?
I just hate how people think their lives have to go on stop when they have children. Adults with children are not just mum/dad. They are their own identity.

[Florriesma]

To be fair, people have other commitments apart from kids, parents, work, pets, liking their own bed..
still don't know what you'd do on a sleepover before the big day?

[rookiemere]

YANBU.

Who knew that being BM meant pre-wedding night stay? I've been a BM twice and didn't have to do it and would have thought it odd if this was a requirement.

Why don't you just say to her that you can't stay the night before and you'll understand if she doesn't want you to be a BM, but you'd still like to if you can go on the day.

I really don't think it's about life stopping when you become a parent stressedoutnan, it's just about considering what you do from your families perspective as well as just your own.

[Kreeshsheesh]

Are you very anxious about leaving them?

[MammaTJ]

Really not a good enough reason, though maybe a good enough excuse! I would see through it as a bride though and think most would.

I am sure your DH would be perfectly able to look after your DC.

[Itsallaboutme3]

Wow all the messages saying if you were the bride you would be upset and so on.....i am 34 years old and have 3 children who, if i am away from for a night, yes i do miss. Sleep overs is not really my thing but it seems i am a minority

[lljkk]

Whether OP is BU depends I think if dress has already been measured up.
Still I cannot fathom why BMs must attend night before. Even though I've had a wedding maybe I'm not cut out to understand them.