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to worry about friend's reaction to DH's work in a fast food restaurant

71 replies

Annamaria11 · 02/07/2015 23:11

DH picked me up from a friend's house - he was in his fast food restaurant uniform where, a couple of times a week, he cleans to make extra money. Works f-t elsewhere and, even with my jobs, we are on a very tight budget.
He doesn't mind - he'd rather have one well paid job or a different part time job but they are hard to get round here.

Nothing unusual with any of this, except that my friend was visibly shocked when he came to the door. She clearly hadn't known. She is very eco and health food conscious - in fact this is a shared interest of ours. I couldn't surely loose a friend over this but AIBU to think that DH should have put a jumper on/rang me/not come to the door? Only because I'm really worried about my friendship having very possibly been, at the very least, dented because of my association, via DH, with a fast food chain which she disapproves of heartily.

I know that if she values our friendship .... but the look on her face when he came to the door is preying on my mind.

OP posts:

AuntyMag10 · 02/07/2015 23:15

Yabu, your dh is earning an honest living. It's your friend who should be ashamed not you about your dh.


Blu · 02/07/2015 23:15

Yeah Right.


Dawndonnaagain · 02/07/2015 23:16

What an abominable pair of snobs you and you friend are. I assume dh is working for your benefit as well as his?


Suefla62 · 02/07/2015 23:17

You're concerned about the wrong person. You should have been embarrassed about the way she treated you husband.


Anon4Now2015 · 02/07/2015 23:17

If your "friend" is no longer friends with you because she doesn't approve of your husband cleaning in a fast food chain, she wasn't ever a friend to begin with.

And YABU to expect him to cover his uniform up so that she doesn't judge him for it. He's working hard and you sound ashamed of him. To be honest you sound like a snob. Your poor DH


Blu · 02/07/2015 23:18

Do you get a prize after 20 outraged posts?
Maybe a BigMac as a bonus f someone agrees with 'you'?


usualsuspect333 · 02/07/2015 23:18


WallyBantersJunkBox · 02/07/2015 23:18

Is this real? Grin


SycamoreMum · 02/07/2015 23:18

Ugh. Behave. Your husband works for and yours and you're embarrassed?! Pfft send him my way if you like. Hmm


Bellebella · 02/07/2015 23:18

What the hell?

No your oh should not have to hide where he works. Good on him taking an extra job to help with bills. She doesn't have to work there or eat there.

My oh works in a supermarket. He is a deputy manager and he works flaming hard. Currently on a 12hr night shift on his feet the whole time. Whereas I am degree educated and so are most of my friends. Not a chance in hell would I let any friend say anything negative about his work.


bearleftmonkeyright · 02/07/2015 23:19



Annamaria11 · 02/07/2015 23:19

Oh no, I'm not a snob. I respect DH hugely for working these shifts on top of his day job. I, too, had a couple of jobs - for now, it's necessary.

DH's extra earnings are hugely useful to us. They make a real difference.

But I know that my friend will ask questions - she has strong views on these things. Yes, from the luxury of not having to work all hours, but also from conviction. I hate disapproving looks at the best of times but this one felt very personal.

OP posts:

Salmotrutta · 02/07/2015 23:20

Well, there are a couple of things:-

How dare your friend be "shocked" by your DH working for a living? - does she police your food cupboard to make sure you have no Nestle products too?

If you value your DH so little that you worry what a "friend" thinks of his job then he deserves better from you.


TheHouseOnBellSt · 02/07/2015 23:21

Very nice that she can afford principles. Not so nice that you can't trust her.


SocksRock · 02/07/2015 23:21

I would never, ever be embarrassed by my husband working an honest job to support our family. Your friend is a crashing snob, and you should be ashamed of her not your husband.


BackInTheRealWorld · 02/07/2015 23:21

Omg your bloke works a full time job AND a part time job AND comes and picks you up from hanging out with your mate while he works and you are too ashamed to want him to even come to the door? You should be ashamed of yourself not him!


Pumpkinpositive · 02/07/2015 23:21

Tell her you only shagged him the once, and you thought of grilled tofu the whole time.



scarletforya · 02/07/2015 23:21

Don't believe you.


Lweji · 02/07/2015 23:21

If you lose this friend over this, is she really a friend you want to keep?


ilovesooty · 02/07/2015 23:22

Why would you want to remain friends with someone like that?


Salmotrutta · 02/07/2015 23:23

Tell your friend to Fuck Off OP.


Oh, and by the way, I don't swear that often on here but I couldn't resist.

Grow a backbone lady and tell her to do one if she dares to "question" your DHs job.


WireCat · 02/07/2015 23:24

My god. Your poor husband.

And your friend sounds like a charm.

As for you Hmm


Annamaria11 · 02/07/2015 23:24

OK - I take everyone's point but, believe me, I am no snob. I can't afford to be and I'm not one - at all.

I should have re-phrased my post - Is my friend BU to looked shocked when DH appears at her door in his FF chain uniform?

OP posts:

usualsuspect333 · 02/07/2015 23:25

Ooh Salmo, I like it when you get all sweary.Grin


TheHouseOnBellSt · 02/07/2015 23:26

Well of course she is BU. But you seemed more worried about your damaged friendship. Why would you want to be friends with someone who judged like that?

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