to worry about friend's reaction to DH's work in a fast food restaurant

[Annamaria11]

DH picked me up from a friend's house - he was in his fast food restaurant uniform where, a couple of times a week, he cleans to make extra money. Works f-t elsewhere and, even with my jobs, we are on a very tight budget.
He doesn't mind - he'd rather have one well paid job or a different part time job but they are hard to get round here.

Nothing unusual with any of this, except that my friend was visibly shocked when he came to the door. She clearly hadn't known. She is very eco and health food conscious - in fact this is a shared interest of ours. I couldn't surely loose a friend over this but AIBU to think that DH should have put a jumper on/rang me/not come to the door? Only because I'm really worried about my friendship having very possibly been, at the very least, dented because of my association, via DH, with a fast food chain which she disapproves of heartily.

I know that if she values our friendship .... but the look on her face when he came to the door is preying on my mind.

[Anon4Now2015]

But I know that my friend will ask questions - she has strong views on these things. Yes, from the luxury of not having to work all hours, but also from conviction. I hate disapproving looks at the best of times but this one felt very personal.

And you'd rather your DH hid his job and treated as a source of shame than that you stood proud of him and dealt with a judgemental snob's disapproving look (if indeed that's what it was)? Your loyalty is misplaced. If someone had posted from your DH's viewpoint everyone would now be saying LTB

[ilovesooty]

You can rephrase the question but it still doesn't take away what you said about asking your husband to behave as though he had something to be ashamed of.

[MaggieJoyBlunt]

But you said;

AIBU to think that DH should have put a jumper on/rang me/not come to the door?

On the off-chance that this isn't all madeupgoadybollocks anyway, that is an awful way to treat your DH (even by thinking it). Dreadful.

[Klayden]

Your friend is a snob.

[WallyBantersJunkBox]

If it's such a point of contention either ditch the friend or perhaps find out more truly about the ethics of the company and if they are truly "evil" and challenge her.

Your husband sounds like a bloody decent hard working soul.

[Fatmomma99]

I don't think you're BU at all. You do what you have to do!

[Salmotrutta]

Hello usual

How's your rubbish cat?

Now do fuck off dear.

And leave the gin behind.

Thanks.

[ToadsJustFellFromTheSky]

Welcome to Mumsnet

[usualsuspect333]

[Salmotrutta]

That was our road-trip-in-the-camper-van Gin usual!!

[Salmotrutta]

Ahem.

Sorry for derailing the non genuine thread folks.

As you were...

[cruikshank]

Couldn't he have got a job cleaning in Boden instead? Slacker.

[ShadowFire]

If your friend would seriously let your DH working in a fast food restaurant damage your friendship, then she's not worth having as a friend.

And it's worrying that you seem to be more concerned about how this might affect your friendship than about your DH being unfairly judged by your friend.

I'm also sure that it's a lot easier to have strong convictions about the evils of working in fast food restaurants when you can afford to be picky about what jobs you can take.

[whois]

If your friend drops you because your DP has taken a second job on cleaning on a fast food place, she is no real friend.

And you don't sound v nice being all embarrassed about your DH.

[WorraLiberty]

Another wonderful use of the name change function no doubt

I can't even be arsed to check tbh.

[Pumpkinpositive]

Another wonderful use of the name change function no doubt

I can't even be arsed to check tbh.

I did. Her very first post.

[Lashalicious]

Your husband is hardworking. Does your friend stride through life, avoiding any and all people who disagree with her, or even inadvertently appear to run afoul of her militant political opinions? She sounds like one of those people who refuses to be friends with anyone who isn't signed on 100% to her world view. You are more concerned with her opinion of your husband and placating her than you are of her nasty treatment of the man you married and have pledged vows with. Bizarro.

Perhaps it's time you assess your friendship with this odious woman. Her subtle contempt for your husband has colored your perception of him--that is wrong on several levels. Do you not see this? Your loyalty is to him, not her. She is not the controller of your relationships and opinions, surely. I would apologize to your husband if I were you for her atrocious behavior, tell her she was out of line, then I would drop her like a hot potato. She wields too much power over you, in my opinion, if you're looking to placate her when she is clearly in the wrong.

[avocadotoast]

Your friend's a judgey dick. Regardless of personal beliefs, people do what they have to do to get by.

Is she also going to visibly object to any of her acquaintances who eat at said fast food place?

Ffs don't pander to this woman. If she wants to judge your DH that's her problem. You should be proud he's working hard, not worrying about her.

[AdoraBell]

"Oh no, I'm not a snob"

I'm not convinced.

Friend has no business judging someone else working to support their family and YABU to want him to hide his uniform.

How would you have felt if it were you in the fast food uniform and your DH fretting about what his friends would think?

[Frillsandspills]

You're friend may well be disapproving of the food chain put surely she must realise that your DH is working there to make an honest living?
I would be questioning why I didn't say something to her about the look she have rather than questioning why your DH didn't cover up what he was wearing.
Having worked in for a fast food chain in my younger days I have to admit I bloody loved wearing the uniform to show off I had a job (it was my first job). I'd never look down on anyone working for a FF chain whether it was just to earn extra cash of their main source of income a job is a job, and to be fair you seem appreciative of your DHs work.

I'd personally just have a word with your friend if you're that concerned about her reacting. Explain that you still have the same views on fast food but you need the money, surely she couldn't criticise, and if she did I'd question the friendship more than anything. Seems silly to 'dent' a friendship because you don't like were someone's husband works

[Frillsandspills]

Your not you're sorry!

[Frillsandspills]

• okay just realised there's a fair few spelling mistakes there. Please excuse my AM brain!

[DoughDoe]

[Atenco]

Uuf, I remember when I was just a young thing looking for a job in horrible clothes that I did not identify with at all and suddenly I saw this hippy clothes shop and it was like my dream job where I wouldn't have to wear these horrible clothes, but they turned me down because I was too "straight". So actually what they wanted me to do was to return home to put on a hippy uniform to apply for the job. Grrrr. The same capitalist shit. Your friend is the same capitalist shit. One thing is to buy from those places and another thing is to work there. We are all stuck in this world trying to survive and we unfortunately have to work to survive.