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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To keep DS home that day?

88 replies

ASorcererIsAWizardSquared · 02/07/2015 20:44

DS is 8yo, he has ASD, Sensory Processing Disorder, ADHD and Dyspraxia. He also has, due to the ASD/SPD some serious restricted eating problems and food phobias.

This term they've been doing projects on Roald Dahl, and this last couple of weeks the book has been Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, which, no surprise, DS has wanted nothing to do with, as chocolate/sweets are one of his biggest problem foods and he won't even sit near anyone eating them, never mind want to role play or write projects on them.

Anyway, on Monday the rest of his year are going to Cadbury World on a day trip, DS is NOT going because of his SN's and they have instead told me i have to take him into school so he can spend the day doing work with yr2.

I really dont think this is fair, they have chosen a trip that he CANT go on because of his SN, they may as well have deliberately excluded him (and he really can't he had a major meltdown just thinking they might make him go) and now are 'punishing' him for those SN by making him have a boring day working while everyone else is having fun.

AIBU to keep him home and for us to go do something fun instead... and tomorrow to have a chat with the HT and explain thats what i'm doing and why?

OP posts:

Goldmandra · 06/07/2015 09:54

They made him sit in the same room as the children going on the trip?

Original poster

ASorcererIsAWizardSquared · 06/07/2015 09:55

yep, they did.

OP posts:

Goldmandra · 06/07/2015 10:00

I'd phone and see if he's still upset. If he is go and bring him home. They clearly haven't tried to make it easy for him.

5madthings · 06/07/2015 10:10

I agree with gold go get him and take him home, let him have a fun day with you.

How mean yo have him in the room with all the kids excited about going on the trip. I take it there will be follow up work after the trip, I wonder how they are going to deal with that?

Branleuse · 06/07/2015 10:12

id keep him home and id be really fucked off with the teachee for choosing a topic that is entirely about a SENs kids phobias

PeggySangtheBlues · 06/07/2015 10:16

Are you suggesting that none of te children should have been allowed to go on a trip that, actually, is a dream trip for most kids? I assume not. In that case, sorry that your son is missing out, but he is legally obliged to be in school so they have come up with an alternative as he is unable to participate. I think you're being unreasonable because you're upset for your son, who is missing out due to what is actually just an unfortunate clash between his illness and what others generally consider a standard activity.

Original poster

ASorcererIsAWizardSquared · 06/07/2015 10:20

hes ok apparently, they've let him do some work on the computers, so hes happy enough for now.

OP posts:

Goldmandra · 06/07/2015 10:30

Are you suggesting that none of te children should have been allowed to go on a trip that, actually, is a dream trip for most kids?

The OP is, quite reasonably, upset that they are rubbing her son's nose in it by sitting him in the roomful of excited children at the same time he is distressed because he has to spend the day in a different class with a different teacher. That's a very big deal for children with ASD.

Theycallmemellowjello · 06/07/2015 10:51

I think it's unreasonable to think of school as a punishment. It's actually your son's right to be educated, not something that's being inflicted on him. A parent doesn't actually have the right to stop their child being educated, even for one day. Send him in.

Original poster

ASorcererIsAWizardSquared · 06/07/2015 11:02

the reason i see it as a punishment mellowjello is that sending him to the Asst HTs class is something they do quite regularly when he's having a bad day and his CT can't deal with him.

All he knows right now is he cant go on the trip, so instead he gets to go where they send him when he's having a difficult day. He's 8 with SEN... how do you think he feels?

OP posts:

HRHLadyFarquhar · 06/07/2015 12:41

I think it's unreasonable to think of school as a punishment. It's actually your son's right to be educated, not something that's being inflicted on him.

Mellow I think the OP is recognising her son and how this will make him feel.

I know education is a right (and I can even cite Acts of Parliament on it!) but if my child was utterly miserable due to his/her special needs conflicting with the topic of the term, I don't think saying "you're entitled to an education" would help my child.

It's like saying "your schooldays are the best days of your life" to a victim of bullying!

HRHLadyFarquhar · 06/07/2015 12:43

*recognising her son's perspective

HarveySchlumpfenburger · 06/07/2015 19:11

the reason i see it as a punishment mellowjello is that sending him to the Asst HTs class is something they do quite regularly when he's having a bad day and his CT can't deal with him.

Bloody hell. You couldn't make this stuff up. Were they aiming for some sort of full house on a 'how not to handle SEN issues' bingo card?

I really hope that his day got better, OP and that he's managed to have some fun.

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