To think everyone believes they look/feel/act younger then they are?

[scalala]

This probably goes more for those over 30 but it gets more noticable as you get older that everyone men and women all seem to think they are somehow especially "young" for their age. For example online dating which thankfully I don't need to use but which many of my friend do we are late 30's and a huge majority of men only want to be contacted by women their exact age or much younger as if a year or two older is like dating the crypt keeper. The argument they give is that they look and act much younger and so a women their age or older wouldn't be able to keep up with them or do the things they like to do gigs, traveling etc because they some how imagine women their age are all home darning socks and making stovies.

The truth is that women also often feel or imagine that the men their age seem a bit slow and tired and they feel they would prefer a younger, more energetic partner.

Another example I have a friend the same age as me who recentl told me she was looking forward to her high school reunion next year because she feels she has aged much better than her peers and still looks like a twenty something. I hardly knew what to say, she is beautiful but she looks every one of her 37 years and has plenty of deep lines and wrinkles she says they are just the same as when she was a child so not age related but they are the signs of ageing.

Everyone is always telling each other how young we look, it is the biggest compliment we can give and receive after 35 but so often it isn't really true! Also we all have different ideas of what youth means for some it is blonde hair and tan for others it is fitting into skinny jeans and for other it is all about skin quality. It is fine to get a boost or compliment a friend but it just perpetuates this who we have to look young to be worthy or attractive and it piles on the pressure to use various treatments.

Why not tell a friend that she looks glowing if her skin is good or that you admire her energy / fitness or the way she handles her problems with such grace and so on rather than the you look so young.

I'm 50. I'm pretty sure I look younger than that (have been told so by teenagers :) ) but I don't look young anymore. However, when my mum was 50 her behaviour was much more restricted. For example, I'm going to a minuscule festival this year - she would never gave fine that at 49, never mind 50. I think it's in comparison with our parents that we imagine we are young for our age as we don't have society telling us to be 'sensible'.

Only thinking this today about myself. I bumped into someone on the street that l hadn't seen in years. Had a chat. Later l realised l probably had aged as much as her. Not in any mean way but she did look older.But l have no sense of it. I still feel the same as l did years ago. Am in my 50s.

I look my age and I act my age.

That includes being daft sometimes. Because there isn't a set way to act when you're 41. That's the beauty of being an adult. If you want to have a go on the swings or sing along to the music in tesco you bloody well can and you are responsible when you need to be because you are an adult and you know when to be playful and when to be serious.

Do I feel my age? Sometimes. Sometimes I ache to my very bones and I feel about a thousand. Sometimes I feel unsure and insecure and I feel very young and very vulnerable. Mostly I feel like an adult but there isn't a way you feel at 41 that is different to how you felt at 38 or how you'll feel at 47

I think I look younger than I am, but think that's mainly due to the extra weight padding out the wrinkles, the soft focus view from my aging eyes which I really should get retested soon, and the hair dye which hides probably >50% grey!

I don't know what being 46 should feel/act like so don't know if I feel/act younger than 46.

The shame of it is that older women can look FAB-U-LOUS while still looking their age, youthful looks are not the be all and end all. I saw a woman today aged around 60, with a steel grey Louise Brooks bob, wearing a black shift dress and gladiator sandals, she looked fantastic. I wanted to stop and applaud.

I think I look about 90. My friends say I look 12. The truth is out there somewhere.

people generally look younger these days than a generation or two ago because we have a much easier life.

You only need to look at old photographs to see how much older a 60yr old looked 50 years ago to how a 60 yr old looks today

But when we think of how a person should look when they are 'old', we remember how old people looked when we were young. So that's what we think 'old' is and we compare ourselves to that and we think hey, I don't look my age.

Well, yes, you do. You look like your age now. In these times. you don't look like a 60 yr old washer women in 1920, sure. But you look the way a person of your age generally looks today.

And you can't see the wrinkles because you need bifocals

oh god, WeAll - it looks like I just insulted you

I swear when I typed this, the last post was mine and it was just an addition to it.

I'm fairly regularly told I look younger than my age but assume it is a) a compliment and they're trying to be nice and b) it's always older people saying so.

I think I look quite good for 40 as I have very dry pale skin so have never tanned - fairly line free. I don't look 20 tho!

I'm in my 50s and look younger than my mum did in her 50s but I think that's to do with clothes and demeanour, rather than actual signs of ageing. Actually, my skin probably looks older than hers did as she has softer, plumper skin than mine (I got those genes from the other side of the family!)

I used to get told I looked younger than my age a lot (people being nice, perhaps?) but that's all stopped in the past few years and my guess is I look my age. I've also noticed that older people than me look younger to my eyes than they used to, which should probably tell me something!

In a youth-orientated world, ageing can be hard to accept for people, me included, although common sense tells me to just deal with it. I feel as insecure and unsure as I did when I was younger but often I forget that many people will see me as 'old'. It's a weird feeling.

Someone tell me what 47, younger than 47, or older than 47
looks like
feels like
acts like

and I'll answer whether I think I'm older or younger

I think YABU - maybe projecting a little your idea of how us old people should look/dress/behave!

I am 45 - I don't try to look 'young' I just don't WANT to shop at M+S Classic and go grey

it's not delusional or 'acting young' to want to dress nicely and Look good

wait until you are 40+ and still feel 22 you wont be trying to look like anything - hopefully you'll just be being yourself - even if that is in 'young' clothing!

oh and also at 40+ I am finally really happy with who I am - good job, happily single through choice, fit, healthy and I feel good - I'm not about to act in a way other people feel I should

When I said I look my age, I was thinking more of skin elasticity (or lack of it), the way my teeth look, unexpected sprouting bristles (and worse eyesight so I don't always spot them straight away) and a certain softness of body, no matter how much exercise I do. For me, it's not to do with clothes, demeanour or hair dye, it's about the physical attributes of ageing.

I think I look younger than my age (33) but since DS was born I've definitely aged.

Pre DS I used to look 24!

Same here pinkcatgirl, I hold up DS and look like a wrinkled prune!

I think that as a society now we look younger than our ancestors did at the same age - due to better diet, vanity, skin crèmes etc.

Definitely comparing to our parents. The first night I took DH home, we were sixteen, DM was 39.

DM came down the stairs in her full length quilted dressing gown, pink curlers in her greying hair and no teeth in. It is an image that is imprinted on my mind for ever.

Now at 53 I don't look that old.

My husband looks so young for his age, that he had had to knock ten years off- as people thought he was taking the piss!
Now he is 46.
This is a man who really values friendships from all ages. It has kept him young.
I'm told l look 10 years younger, (43) l do look around the same as mums of 33 - ish l suppose. I'm not lined, but when l age - l will melt!

Not emotionally melt. Obviously. My mum isn't lined at 73,but she is 73 none the less.

I internally roll my eyes at people who tell me they are 'young' for their age. They all look their age be it fitness, winkles, clothing or attitude. They just can't see it, a bit like hipsters who think they don't have a uniform.

I'm 36 and look my age I think. I'm vain and shallow sometimes in that I don't want to look old. I feel an immense, yearning sadness that I'll never be 'young' again with my life ahead of me. I'll never be considered pretty and turn heads.

Rationally this is shallow and I know there's so,so much more to these skin and bones. A story, a soul, wisdom I hope.

I think our culture has made ageing very difficult.

My mum says I was born middle-aged. I've always felt old for my age and many of my friends are a fair bit older than I am (late 20s). I'm hoping that the fact that I've felt about 40 my whole life means that once I go past 40 I'll feel young for my age

I think YANBU. I don't think you're saying people should act older or conform to middle aged stereotypes. My MIL is in her 50s. Thinks of herself as very young for her age but is actually much like any other woman in her 50s I've met. She thinks of herself as being young for her age because her own mother was much "older" at the same age. I think the same is true of lots of women and men.

I'm staying 21 even in my 40s damnit! Incomplete but here goes...

Samuel Ullman - How to grow old.

Nobody grows old by merely living a number of years.
People grow old only by deserting their ideals.
Years wrinkle the skin but to give up enthusiasm wrinkles the soul.

Worry, doubt, self-distrust, fear and despair . . .
these are the quick equivalents of the
long years that bow the head and turn
the growing spirit back to dust.

Whether 70 or 16, there is, in every being’ s heart the love of
wonder, the sweet amazement of the stars, and the star-like
things and thoughts, the undaunted challenge of events,
the unfailing childlike appetite for “What Next?”

You are as young as your faith, as old as your doubt,
as young as your self-confidence, as old as your fear,
as young as your hope, as old as your despair.

So long as your heart receives messages of
beauty, cheer, courage, grandeur and power from
the earth, from man and from the Infinite, so long are you young

I think I prob look my age most of the time , five years younger on a good day, five years older on a bad one, do I act my age? God knows !! Who's judging how each age group is supposed to act? I've still the same friends at school and when we're together we still talk and laugh at the same things nothings changed in thirty odd years, we still take the piss relentlessly out of each other and laugh like drains!!

I feel older than ever, i can have hi lights, buy more polyfiller for the lines, but i am overweight, getting cankles etc etc. wasnt too bad in the 40 s ( never been a looker ) but 50s - forget it! I do get what you mean, have younger friends who are out partying , clubbing, trying to turn back time. Good luck to them , i havent the energy and not cool enough for clubs anyway.! Maybe its a state of mind.

If you really want to know how young you look, ask a 19 year old. They'll soon put you straight

I'm 38 but routinely get asked for ID when buying booze. I love it.

Or loved it. Until my husband pointed out the demographic of workers asking me for ID. It certainly isn't the Saturday students....