Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have sent this child home?

81 replies

Ironfloor · 30/06/2015 20:12

DD plays outside with the neighbourhood kids after school, till about 6ish when it is her dinner time. Today, another kid whom we know joined them to play. This kid used to come to our house afte school and play with DD till his mom took his older brother for tuition. Today, however, his dad was at home while his mom was out with his older brother. But dad was sleeping while this little boy was playing outside with my DD and the other kids.

Once I went to the kitchen and when I returned, this boy was in our living room. DD and the other kids were still outside playing. I always keep the door slightly ajar when she plays outside and I stay in the living room so that I can keep and eye on her. This little boy had sneaked inside through the open door. Then he asked for some juice, which I offed him and then he made himself quite comfortable on our couch.

Then, DD finished playing outside and came in as it was her dinner time. Today was her school trip so she was shattered. I asked this boy whether his mom is at home and he said no, his dad was asleep and mom was out with brother. I waited for about 20 minutes, they played games on the ipad. Then I told him that after one more game I will drop him home as my DD is tired and needs an early bed time. Then he said that he can go by himself and went.

When I told this to DH he said that I shouldn't have sent him home and that he's on,y a little kid and that I should have let him stay at ours till his mom came back. But I didn't know wha time she'll be back.

AIBU to have ant him home?

OP posts:
ApocalypseNowt · 30/06/2015 20:15

How old is this boy?

Definitely not U to tell him to go home i would have done it straight away tbh but I'd maybe have taken him there myself depending on his age.

SilverBirchWithout · 30/06/2015 20:15

How old is he? Was his Dad just asleep in a chair or in bed because he works nights?

But not really your problem if the Dad is supposed to be supervising him.

Original poster
Ironfloor · 30/06/2015 20:25

Thanks for your responses.

He is almost 4 and lives 3 doors down. Of course, I went with him and saw him enter the house.

I'm not sure whether his dad was napping on the couch or asleep in bed but he is fasting so DH said maybe he is tired and fell asleep.

Now I feel bad about sending him home. But I know this bit well and he will usually have to dragged home by his mom after play dates because he refuses to leave. And it was already late for DD's dinner plus I had no idea when his mom will return. Thinking that his dad is at home to look after him, she could have ages.

OP posts:
Original poster
Ironfloor · 30/06/2015 20:25

Boy, not bit.

OP posts:
KingJoffreyLikesJaffaCakes · 30/06/2015 20:29

Well, it's not like you invited him in in the first place...

I think it was fine to send him home.

Wolfiefan · 30/06/2015 20:30

What is a 3 year old doing playing out unsupervised?

FaffingtonBear · 30/06/2015 20:31

He's 4 and playing out unsupervised? Gosh......That's not something I would let mine do at all.

YANBU.

Sausages123 · 30/06/2015 20:31

Isn't anyone else thinking what the fuck a nearly 4 year old is doing wandering about with his dad asleep

FaffingtonBear · 30/06/2015 20:31

Whoops I read that he was 4 already, that's worse that a 3 year old was out !

Sausages123 · 30/06/2015 20:32

Cross posted!

funchum8am · 30/06/2015 20:32

I think I'd have knocked or rung the bell to get dad up and announce I had brought his child home...he needs to know the child is playing out for ages while he sleeps. He might be fine with that but if he was knackered and accidentally dropped off he might be mortified and try to avoid doing it again.

Rabbitsnap · 30/06/2015 20:33

Letting a 3 year old play out side in the street while you sleep is neglect.

HalfATankini · 30/06/2015 20:35

Wtf? my dd is almost 4 and not in a million years would I would leave her outside playing unsupervised. My 7 and 8 year olds would be fine although Id still stress but we live in a busy London street but a 3 year old?! Especially while I slept, fasting or not that dad should be watching his child!

HalfATankini · 30/06/2015 20:36

A million cross posts Grin

Bakeoffcake · 30/06/2015 20:39

You should have woken the dad and made sure he was aware his 3 year old had been outside by himself.

dylsmimi · 30/06/2015 20:39

I think you were right to take him home if his dad was asleep and assumed he was playing outside and woke up and looked outside his little boy wouldn't be there and if you hadnt taken him back he would have been worried
The sleeping thing is tricky - the little boy is only 4 so hard to know the full story !

Flashbangandgone · 30/06/2015 20:44

Agreed, letting a 3 year old "play out" is neglect.... Doing so while you sleep makes it even worse.

I know there's a school of thought that seems to be "we did it the 80's when I was young, the older ones looked out for the 3 year olds and no harm came to anyone", but that kind of argument has as much validity as "my gran smoked 60 a day and she died when of old age at 86, therefore smoking's not harmful"

lunar1 · 30/06/2015 20:44

You sent a three year old home alone!

Wtf are his parents doing?

PourquoiTuGachesTaVie · 30/06/2015 20:47

His dad is an idiot and you were irresponsible to send him home alone.

PourquoiTuGachesTaVie · 30/06/2015 20:49

Oh wait hold on. The dad is fasting is he? I hope this isn't a stealth muslim bashing.

Selks · 30/06/2015 20:51

I'm wondering whether, if the father had fallen asleep, he knew that they boy was outside? The child may have been supposed to stay in the house. I definitely would have wanted to speak to the father when I brought him home, if only to make sure I delivered the child to an adult and to let them know he was outside on his own.
I'm a social worker and this is pretty concerning. The only way that child should have been playing out without an adult present would be if there was an older responsible child directly taking care and looking out for him, which does not sound the case here.
If you see this happening again OP I would say you need to let someone know, - social care if there does not seem to be anyone looking after him when he is out.

iwanttogotothechaletschool · 30/06/2015 20:52

When the mother is there does she she supervise him if he is playing outside? I'd be very tempted to tell her, he is three and wandering into other people's house, all be it someone he knows, and playing completely unsupervised by a parent. If he were my child I'd want to know.

Flashbangandgone · 30/06/2015 20:54

Did you really just send the 3 year old into a house without checking who, if anyone, was there? He said his dad was having a sleep, but he's a 3yo ffs.... His dad could have been unconscious for you all knew, or he could have been making things up (my 4 yo often tells all sorts of tales). If so, I'm afraid you're nearly as irresponsible as the dad imo.

whyhasmyheadgonenumb · 30/06/2015 20:58

DD is that age, I wouldn't even let her stand on the drive on her own whilst I popped back into the house!

Iliveinalighthousewith2friendl · 30/06/2015 21:00

Poor little mite. Agree it is neglectful. What is he 4. That's a baby!
Not getting at you, op but I think yab.a tad u. You could have supervised him home and knocked to wake the dad up, or perhaps call I'm not sure would it be ss. If you couldn't wake him. I personally could not let a child go home to a house where no one was supervising, but they'd (parents) would know I we not pleased.
Some may say. It's not your problem nor your responsibility, but I highly disagree. Children's safety and well being is everyone's responsibility. As far as I am concerned I have a moral duty of care to all children. Not just my own

Swipe left for the next trending thread