To think sports day SHOULD be about winning!

[CandOdad]

So today we have sports day which yesterday meant a letter coming home telling us all about "the spirit of the game" and how we shouldn't cheer for our child or the team they are in since it's all about the taking part.

Now my son had a Beavers sports day a few weeks ago and not one child was upset at the trophy giving for the end and cheering for your Beaver set was actively encouraged.

Is it not time that children should be taught that there will be winners and that life is about how you deal with this and improve yourself rather than us all getting along like some happy clappy squad?

Before it's assumed I was the "winner" at school, I was not. I was most definitely the last at everything, but this taught me about how to value the other skills I have.

Made Man thats bollocks Crap singers arent humiliated or bullied regularly once a year in front of teachers and parents.

Not saying bullying always happens but it does go on.

I was regularly ridiculed by my peers in front of teachers for being a terrible singer. Okay, so the parents weren't there, too. They just told me at home how bad a singer I was.

Honestly I'd rather come last in a public race by a mile than be forced to sing by teachers in front of hostile peers.

I hate sports day with a passion - but then I was always that socially awkward kid that came last EVERYTIME. I was also picked last for every team. The most hated kid in the year was picked before me I was so shit.

My eldest was the same, dyspraxic, awkward, fell over, not only came last but managed to cross the line as the others were all wondering off!!

My youngest hates any kind of activity competition and actually gets stressed out about stuff like this.

Sports day should be optional! and therefore, the kids that WANT to take part should be cheered on!

Our school has adopted the team culture. My child's response what the point? I want to win for me, not a team.

I'll be cheering loudly.

I hate bloody sports day.

Can you imagine the uproar if we said 'let's have a spelling competition for the whole school, all the parents will come and watch and cheer for their children. Everyone MUST do it, even if they are a dyslexic or just a poor speller. You must participate in every round and everyone must witness how poor you are at spelling.' Talk about confidence destroying!

My dc are crap at sport (as I was) - DS is quite resigned about sports day and laughs his way through, dd loathed it. I fail to see the positives for non- sporty children. It's a great day for sporty children to shine and that is fantastic, I love to see that but making the non-sporty ones participate and feel humliated is just crap.

Made there will, but yiu normally choose to enter competition as an adult. E.g you apply for X job, because you think you might win that competition. If you were a good Carpenter, you wouldn't apply for a vacancy for a dance teacher, would you?

I'm not saying sports day shouldn't be competitive, bit I do feel there should albe two distinct events. A participation/show of sports, where everyone is encouraged to tale part in the games, and then a sport s competition which is a choice and a true competition to find out who is the fastest/strongest/most accurate etc

Sorry, not 'a dyslexic' - I'd deleted a previous sentence and left the 'a' in!

Jo I agree!

They really should treat sports day like a school play or something, those who aren't so great still take part and help the show come together in whatever way they can be it as a "tree", a set painter, or the starring role. The same for sports day, sure everyone take part, but more team events should take place.

In fact it would almost be better to have a Games Day, showing parents the different team sports played, with an element of competition, bit the emphasis is on everyone taking part and trying hard as a team. The save the sports day for the athletes!

To be fair, I thought sports days were traditionally supposed to be like that - sprinting and long jump etc for the athletes; three legged race and egg and spoon for those who just want to have fun.

kvetch is your child forced to play in a band, despite no playing an instrument... ? Or any they made to do a public speaking comp, despite not being able to speak well? Are they entered into Spelling Competitions even though their spelling is atrocious?

Probably not.

I love my daughter's school sports day ... which is amazing, considering how much I hated my own!

There are proper competitive races for the fastest runners. They have qualifying heats for these and it's a joy to watch the really sporty kids focussed on running a good race.

Then there is an assortment of team relays, covering fun/obstacle races and sprint relays which are shared out among all the other kids. Everyone gets a race. The teams appear to be quite carefully balanced so every team has a decent chance.

And there are also team games, where everyone wins points for their house.

There is a lot of cheering! But people cheer for the winners, for their friends' kids, for their own kids, for their kids' House and for the kids who aren't the best, but pick themselves up and try really hard. It's a very supportive atmosphere.

There is an overall trophy for best Yr6 sportsman and woman AND for "most sporting" sportsman and woman. As far as I can recall, these have always gone to people who really deserve them.

But why can't you have both serious competitive events and fun taking part events on the same day?

00100001 and Jo - I completely agree with you both. I have often made these points and no one seems to understand!

For years DS has endured the public humiliation of coming last in everything at sports day ( and I do mean everything - he has Asperger's and serious coordination issues). Although the other parents have been kind and encouraged him, DS knows he can't come close to his classmates and it does get to him. He is also very rule-bound and so has declined my offers to call him in sick for the day.

DS does excel at certain subjects, but there is no public spelling competition where all of his classmates have to take part and everyone's struggles and difficulties are paraded in a very public fashion. Think of how the parents would complain if such things were introduced now. It is only good old tradition that insists that all children must compete at sports day.

And I love your name, 00100001 (!)

I haven't been able to read all the comments but non competitive sports days should be banned...

Children that are academically brilliant get rewarded and recognised throughout the year and have sats to show how good they are, what about the children that aren't so good at maths, English and science? when is their time to shine?

I think all kids should be recognised for what they are good at and it's not fair on the sporty kids to have this played down for the fear of upsetting someone else!!!

I think SN is a slightly different issue and schools should be able to organise sports day in a way that is inclusive of everyone. For instance somebody who is a stickler for rules might be great at keeping score in the same way that a non performer can manage ticket sales for the school play or paint scenery.

Plenty of children struggle academically and with sports so it is false to say that sports day gives the less academic a chance to shine.

What a good idea, Merrymouse - I wish you had been in charge of DS' primary school sports days!

And a fast runner doesn't need to compete against every other child in their year to know that they are the fastest - just the other fast runners.

kvetch exaclty my point. If your children are forced to take part, despite lacking any ability - it should be about the taking part and doing your best - not the winning.

merrymouse has it right too

You could run it more like team event - so those with no co-ordination, still get to take part, maybe as a bigger team/House say - Each event, you get points for participating, points for placing, points for how well you do individually etc

So, as an off the cuff example, you might get 1 point for entering the Bean Bag Toss, 1 point for placing 1,2 or 3, one for every metre you throw.
Another event might be hula-hooping, one point for taking part, one point for every second you can hoop so a team member who is taking part, but not very able would help contribute to the overall win.

(Let's say Child A earned 5 points across the two events)

Then every Team Point is put into a final tally and the highest overall score would win sports day. Making it a mini competition, but everyone contributes to the team to the best of their own ability (which is what actually happens in work)

Sure there will be kids comparing how many points each other has, you'll never stop that, but that's not the focus of the event 'officially'

Then you have the actual sports competitions (races, jumps etc) for those who want/can compete,. as separate event almost (even if on the same day) just to find out who is the fastest/highest jumper/best thrower ??

and laundry thank you - glad you 'got' it

Dd recently ran 1500m representing her school, she is a sprinter and has never run that distance before

She also has a problem at the moment with her knees

She was last...very, very last for the first time ever. She said every grownup there was yelling her name and encouraging her

She was mortified

Our infant school does team games, you still may "win" your race but it's the team effort that counts and is rewarded

Junior school has the same system but children can volunteer to run some first, second, third races

Seems to work well

The kids who come in dead last during the races often get a big clap at our school, and their own cheering section. Is that really so unusual?

I liked the way our junior school organised sports day and it followed a system described above. Heats were held in private. The heat winners and runners up went into actual races on sports day in front of parents. The school had Houses and chidren felt strongly about getting points for the House, not just glory for themselves. I remember my DD being terrified beacuse she had come a distant third in something and the child that came 2nd had been ill and she feared she would have to take part in an actual race where she knew she would be humiliated. Fortunately the ill child recovered. She did however, love the team races. I can honestly say the cheering was as loud for the team races as it was for the individual ones.

Later at senior school she had to run the 800m for her House because the girl who was supposed to be running it did not turn up. She was crossing the line as all the others were well on their way to getting refreshments! About half a lap behind! She did it for the team - they got a point for her finish. She was House Captain and took participating seriously! When she was so far behind I heard parents ridiculing her. I was so cross and parents are very judgemental. Her friends, luckily, admired her attitude and so did the teachers. Earlier in the day her House had won the Haka competition under her direction. That is a real sight on sports day and definitely gets everyone involved - New Zealand style! So sport is great so long as parents are able to cheer everyone.

I have seen children with poor co-ordination humiliated - largely at prep schools who don't seem to pull anyone out. I guess if the child does not feel humiliated and wans to take part, then no harm done, but there comes a time when humiliation is a real problem and schools should know better than to promote this.

Also, I hate sack races and egg and spoon races. Further individual humiliation with people laughing at you. It is much better to have team races for the less sporty. Relays, body races etc.