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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think sports day SHOULD be about winning!

130 replies

CandOdad · 30/06/2015 08:39

So today we have sports day which yesterday meant a letter coming home telling us all about "the spirit of the game" and how we shouldn't cheer for our child or the team they are in since it's all about the taking part.

Now my son had a Beavers sports day a few weeks ago and not one child was upset at the trophy giving for the end and cheering for your Beaver set was actively encouraged.

Is it not time that children should be taught that there will be winners and that life is about how you deal with this and improve yourself rather than us all getting along like some happy clappy squad?

Before it's assumed I was the "winner" at school, I was not. I was most definitely the last at everything, but this taught me about how to value the other skills I have.

OP posts:
ASettlerOfCatan · 30/06/2015 12:34

Ours was done in houses so 4 groups. The kids all picked 3-4 races each (out of about 8 possibilities) and parents all just cheered randomly for all the kids without anyone having to specify. We cheered the winners and the losers. They scored in teams so some won and some lost but it didn't single out kids as such. The kids cheered for their own team. It worked really well.

ASettlerOfCatan · 30/06/2015 12:36

I also feel that kids good at sport should get recognition and this way worked as winners all got hugs and cheers from the other kids in their team. It really promoted cheering each other on and teamwork. I loved the idea.

derxa · 30/06/2015 12:47

You're all making me feel sad about the days not that long ago when I organised fun and competitive sports days. I am fanatical about children taking part in sport and especially girls who seem to give up after primary. The thing is a lot of primary school teachers are people who loathed sport as children and don't like teaching it.
I'll tell a story which may out me but who cares. I recently worked in a school as a supply teacher once a week. I did PE with this very awkward class. As usual there was lots of enthusiasm for the lesson. One child told her piano teacher she wanted to swap lesson times so she didn't miss PE. Then the school rearranged it so I didn't do PE with them. The pupils said, " Why don't we do PE with you any more, I miss it." This school which was academically fine had nothing in its PE cupboard and only 1 Y6 child knew how to play netball. This was a class which did have its fair share of sporty children who found literacy and numeracy difficult. We should encourage sporting talent and encourage success in all its forms.

youareallbonkers · 30/06/2015 12:49

No, of course I don't believe they will all win if they try harder but they'll have a much better chance. Teaching children they just get things without effort is what's wrong with a lot of people these days.

youareallbonkers · 30/06/2015 12:53

And they aren't great at sport because they don't practice. Do you think the top Olympians just roll up on the day because they are good at sports? No, the practice and practice and more practice! Children need to learn this

BarbarianMum · 30/06/2015 12:57

youarebonkers as far as I know each race has exactly 1 winner (be that individuals or a team) and then a load of runners up. It is simply not possible for 'everyone to be a winner' which is why other things than winning need to be valued as well.

downgraded · 30/06/2015 13:01

Nah, sports day is about getting out into the sunshine and having a bit of fun.

I'm usually too distracted to cheer for anyone much, but would certainly cheer for DD in her races.

The parents screaming maniacally from the sidelines the whole way through are way too much imo.

paddyclampo · 30/06/2015 13:03

We have a proper sports day with winners. I think a non competitive sports day is a complete load of tosh. Didn't hear anyone complaining about it either. Was a traditional one with parents and class mate sat at the sides. One of the best days of the school year :)

WannabeLaraCroft · 30/06/2015 13:04

Och what a load of tripe! My DS would have felt truly awful if I hadn't been cheering him on and encouraging him, what a stupid thing to request! Didn't have a sports day, but had a big race night with all the children from the town, different age groups, different races etc.

I always tell him it's about taking part that counts, and it doesn't matter if he doesn't win although he cries anyway but it doesn't stop me cheering him on, and he cheers his friends on too. You can encourage and cheer on your own child while at the same time cheering on their friends/peers/team. Teaches them to be 'good sports'.

Cheer away op - be the loudest!!

downgraded · 30/06/2015 13:04

Oh and we don't have one winner. We compete in houses, so each person collects points for the house, which is totted up at the end.

So everyone in that house is a winner :)

BrendaBlackhead · 30/06/2015 13:05

I can't believe the lack of games/PE the dcs did at their (fairly affluent) primary school. If there was a "y" in the day of the week, that was the teacher's excuse for no PE. It was always something - too cold, a spot of rain, charity week, reading week, assembly had overrun etc etc etc. Imo most teachers just don't like taking PE or games and thus are only too relieved not to have to don their tracksuit bottoms half-heartedly and unenthusiastically parp on a whistle.

At one point there was a male teacher who got things going and started sports teams etc but when he left it was back to... nothing. I also think it's pretty poor and a sad indictment of women teachers that so many of them put such little store by physical activity. Dd's last teacher's idea of a games lesson was to leave them to it whilst she cowered in the classroom doorway clutching a mug of coffee. Dd said she didn't even change out of her teacher trousers and ubiquitous teacher waterfall cardigan.

Shakey1500 · 30/06/2015 13:07

Competition is healthy and winners should be celebrated. But I agree that everyone should be cheered.

DS has two left feet and not a sporty bone in his body. He's had 3 sports day. Yr1 last in everything. Yr2 last in everything.

We went down the "but you're great in other ways" etc but he was still riled.

Come this year, Yr3 he was absolutely determined. He was lucky he was pitted against two other equally sporty challenged kids but he won Smile And the utter joy on his face was brilliant! Did I cheer him on like a maniac ? You bet I did. And I think the lesson that being driven and determined can yield results has been invaluable.

lljkk · 30/06/2015 13:11

There is such a thing as native talent, practice doesn't guarantee success.

In a place like China where massive numbers drill and drill to be the best, some kids still rise to the top over others. While those who get injured are cast on a slag heap.

I cheer for any kid I feel kindly towards. I like it when kids are sorted or graded into events, like when PE is set in secondary.

youareallbonkers · 30/06/2015 13:18

Barbariansmum what are you on about? Everyone winning is exactly what I'm objecting to.

youareallbonkers · 30/06/2015 13:19

I disagree, I don't believe in talent

agnesnott · 30/06/2015 13:19

Yes taking part with enthusiasm and good grace should be celebrated. And yes everyone should be trying to succeed at their personal level but competition is part of life. Learning to lose with good grace, celebrating others success, appreciating effort are valuable lessons. We want our children to understand the value of hard work and effort in success. So I think offer a wide range to get everyone involved but allow children who excel their success too.

downgraded · 30/06/2015 13:24

I disagree, I don't believe in talent

I'll look forward to seeing you competing in the next Olympics, in that case.

I don't like individual races because it's boring waiting for your child to run. I like our less competitive version because every kid is busy the whole time, so there's always something interesting(ish) to look at.

RooftopCat · 30/06/2015 13:26

Dd said she didn't even change out of her teacher trousers and ubiquitous teacher waterfall cardigan
When are teachers supposed to get changed into sports kit? At DC school the teachers have to stay with the children at all times. Walk them down to dining hall, walk them to assemblies, walk them to pe lessons. If the teachers themselves are taking the pe lesson they won't be able to get changed. No TAs here. The only teacher in PE sports kit is the PE teacher who takes around half of the lessons across the school.

drudgetrudy · 30/06/2015 13:52

I disagree-I don't believe in talent-I find that a bit ridiculous TBH. Of course practice and commitment is necessary for success but I think its fairly obvious we don't all start with the same innate abilities. Also people have differing physiques and whilst they may excel in one sport they will not be a natural at another. Everyone can improve and compete against themselves though.

derxa · 30/06/2015 14:00

Teachers can come to school in PE kit or get changed at lunch time. They can at least change into trainers.

Shakey1500 · 30/06/2015 14:10

I don't believe in talent

Sorry, could you elaborate?

NKfell · 30/06/2015 14:13

My son struggles a little bit academically but is very sociable (probably part of the problem- him being a chatterbox) but he is very good at sport- he's only 6 but already says he wants to be a PE teacher- the idea of doing PE all day and every day is his dream!

He loves sports days and games- it's where he excels, he wins every race, scores all the goals and catches every ball. It makes a nice change to him putting his hand up telling the teacher he doesn't understand when other kids are finding it easy.

One of his friends is good academically but not good at sport- in fact was always useless but since playing with my son his Mum told me his co-ordination has really improved. I do think my son has a natural ability but because he loves it, he does it more and improves. His friend doesn't have much natural ability at sport but he is improving because he's trying harder (to beat my son!).

ifonly4 · 30/06/2015 14:35

When my DD was at primary school, all 60 girls in the year would run. My DD was always in the last four of approx 60, and I cheered her on (as did the teachers) because the others with her always gave up and she kept going even though she out there on her own with everyone watching!.

She in the lower set at comp (only two sets), but loves PE and running now. I'm glad I supported her.

JugglingFromHereToThere · 30/06/2015 16:57

I think sport should be more about keeping fit and fun for everyone than about winning
But then I don't really get the obsession with sport generally, especially watching it - and paying a fortune to do so
I try to enter into the spirit a bit say for the Olympics - even then I thought the Paralympics was more inspiring
If I had a say in a school sports day I'd go for the team approach - that's quite fun and encourages both physical activity and team spirit.
At the DC's primary they used to do a "clock sports" thing with lots of little relay style games in lines coming out to form a circle - like spokes on a wheel. Parents all around the outside watching and cheering the teams on. That was just about perfect I thought - very sweet and community minded

00100001 · 30/06/2015 17:03

Sports Day should be about trying your hardest. And there should be winners.

Sports day is odd it's one of the few things that happens in school where everyone tends to compete, regardless of ability. You don't have non-musicians in a school music comp. Or people who don't really play Chess in the Chess Tournament.... why does everyone need to compete in sports day?? Confused

I'm not saying kids shouldn't do sport, or that the less able shouldn't be allowed to compete, it;s just an odd situation :)