To think sports day SHOULD be about winning!

[CandOdad]

So today we have sports day which yesterday meant a letter coming home telling us all about "the spirit of the game" and how we shouldn't cheer for our child or the team they are in since it's all about the taking part.

Now my son had a Beavers sports day a few weeks ago and not one child was upset at the trophy giving for the end and cheering for your Beaver set was actively encouraged.

Is it not time that children should be taught that there will be winners and that life is about how you deal with this and improve yourself rather than us all getting along like some happy clappy squad?

Before it's assumed I was the "winner" at school, I was not. I was most definitely the last at everything, but this taught me about how to value the other skills I have.

I don't think sports day is about winning. PE is a mandatory thing for all children, and really the most important thing is to inculcate really positive patterns of thinking about exercise and sport. Getting kids to enjoy it, rather than being anxious about coming last, is vital. And, dare I say it, I think there is a far more important skill than running, jumping, swimming or any other sport - and that's being kind to others and supportive of them.

I just watched a video of my friend's child at sports day. She has quite severe disabilities and learning difficulties too. She was not just last at the race - she just couldn't coordinate herself at all. All the other kids cheered her on like a champion. That's what matters. Sometimes taking part IS such a triumph, and it's not wishy-washy nonsense.

Plus, there are plenty of competitions for children who are gifted at a sport to strut their stuff and win trophies at a local, regional or national level. For any sport, there seem to be dozens of the things. So school trophies don't actually mean anything anyway! A kid who's winning national meets isn't going to care much about beating a bunch of teenage smoker peers one day a year.

I went to a school that prided itself on being 'egalitarian', which in practice meant that they didn't celebrate success. Completely rubbish ethos IMO.

I think it depends on the age but I think the kids might just realise who is good at sports and who isn't. They're not daft.

How bloody stupid!! No they should definitely make them competitive, our school just changed ours to non competitive and it's a load of bobbins now, no one has a clue what's going on, not even the kids! It's pointless. My daughter used to love the running, but then again she always won!!! I'm a cheerer, why not! It's just fun, no one can win everything in life, kids need to learn that.

Sports day should be about good sportsmanship. Being both a good winner and good looser with all personal bests valued.

Sure, make sports day about coming first ... but only if SAT's are about getting the highest mark.

The no cheering thing is bloody odd!

I am not long back from sports day for my infant age son, yr2. They compete in houses and there are some team raves and some more competitive so that's good.

For a reason I cannot fathom my son who hates competitive sports was out in for the long distance run, he hates running. It's not that he isn't fit, he cycles everywhere, scooters, climbs and runs around playing but doesn't run for the sake if running iyswim.

Anyway he was very quickly at the back and I could see his face crumple, it was really hot and he is very pale and doesn't do heat well. Luckily my elder son was thete and saw, he ran round and then ran with his little brother and ad he was in tears I ran and did the last fifty metres with him, kicking of my birkenstocks and running bare foot er sprinted the last bit holding hands. My son got a huge cheer despite coming last by a big distance and though upset he is pleased he finished. I got him an ice cream on the way home :)

He would gave been much better off doing one of the team activities like the sponge relay or something but he did it. I did feel for him though, it broke my heart a little bit.

I have to go again on thu for junior sports day, ds2 and ds3 are sporty though and enjoy it unlike Ds4. So hopefully I won't be having to join in!

It was always a thrill for me to discover someone who had a 'hidden' sporting talent e.g. someone who wasn't a sprinter but had the stamina for distance running. Maybe 5madthings your son will be one of those. Even if he isn't he had the guts to finish. Your story brought a tear to my eye. I remember running round the edge of the track at athletics comps. in a clearly insane way

5madthings I too used to ask to do the long distance race. At senior school, it was held first thing in the morning, before the whole school came out to watch.

Then I, and 2 others spent a memorable sports day rewiring the demo plugs and cables in the physics lab.

I'm not seltve, but I do have stamina and strength now as an adult. And would still rather run a km than sprint 100m.

Well, it was a sedate experience but there was a little cheering from some. The funny thing was some of the parents that are clearly competitive found it really hard and were shouting "tips" on how to improve on doing things like walking with a ball on a racket or "hurdling" over tiny 10cm hurdles. The children do clearly enjoy it but it would be better for a team to win and see a few medals etc.

I like the point that not everyone is expected to participate in a music competition etc though.

Oh FFS for the posters who think its evil to be competitive in any way, we were very competitive at my school. I was shit. I got over it. It hasn't scarred me. It teaches you shit about life.

My children go to a very competitive school and they love it because in return the school makes sure that they find what every child excels in. Some are sport, music, latin, verse speaking, academic etc etc. I think competition raises the standards and nobody feels fobbed off with not being recognised for their strengths.

You don't have non-musicians in a school music comp.

On the other hand there is also more to music than winning competitions - plenty of people sing in choirs for fun.

It should be possible to have both competitive and 'taking part' events across the curriculum.

Sports day should be competitive. I don't agree with all this giving of stickers and so on for taking part. My DD is good at sports, it's her thing. Sometimes she wins, sometimes she loses, she learns from that and works out, or her coach tells her, what she needs to work on to get better.
Prizes are meaningless if everybody gets one.

My DS (aged 8) has a medical condition which means he always comes last. Always. He still takes part though, runs his little heart out. And got a massive shout from a lot of the parents at this year's sports day when he was half way down the field as the first one finished. All his year know his medical problem and they cheer him on and give him a clap on the back when he finishes.

But this year, in the relay obstacle race, one of his team mates fluffed her run and DS managed to pull it back on his run so the third one up was level pegging. Just because it was a slower race as the kids had to go through tunnels etc. DS was so proud of his run.

The point is, he knows he is likely to be the slowest. It doesn't stop him because he also knows he is the best reader in the class, does very well in maths and got a 3 in all his year two SATS. He realises that people aren't good at everything. Classwork is what he's good at - sports is something his friend is good at. DS gets the praise in class - his friend gets the cheers on the sports field. Competition is everywhere. DS and his friends will, just like I did, one day compare exam results hoping they have the highest mark. DS's attitude is to enjoy sports day for what it is, try his best and to cheer his team mates on like a good sport. It's what life is about really isn't it?

Oh God 5madthings your poor son! And your lovely other son!

Someone will make a film out of it . A plucky young Geordie will play your youngest son and Brenda Blethyn will play you....

(I'm not implying you look like Brenda Blethyn by the way, ( not that looking like Brenda Blethyn is a bad thing). Let me have my reverie)

Cheering for a team is OK, the type of parental aggression that can go with very competitive sportiness is not. School sports day should be about taking part and inclusion IMO, there are sports clubs for those who are really good and into it to that extent. DS goes to nursery with a little boy who has a physical disability and it was lovely to see the kids all taking part together. Or if it must be for the elite only then give everyone else something more interesting to do rather than setting the majority up to fail just to massage the egos of the in crowd. I never qualified for sports day because I was so rubbish at PE and it was all very competitive

Shovetheholly for school governor!

I think it doesn't matter if the school or parents decide if it's competitive or not, a lot of kids are competitive.

DS plays sport. He's not a naturally sporty kid, but he loves playing soccer and other sports with his friends. He'll never be the professional footballer he dreams of. Truth is, we all see he's far more talented academically, than he is at sport.

He's 8, so right now, there is no league. He plays blitzes, and it is all about taking part. There is a ref, but he doesn't keep score. It's supposed to be all about taking part, and learning to play as a team.

Only problem? You try telling that to an 8 year old. DS and all of his friends keep score. They know who scores goals, how many they've scored, what the result of the match was the last time they played this team. And it's not just DSs team are like this, all the kids are.

Kids will compete with one another irrespective of what parents or teachers say. Also, competition isn't a bad thing, and it's not bad to celebrate other people's talents and ability. My DS will never be top-goal scorer, or the fastest runner. He'll push himself to try and be the most-improved player, but not winning that a second time taught him everyone does things at their own pace, and sometimes you just need to cheer for your friends, and celebrate their achievements, even though you're disappointed.

Definitely agree with you OP.

All I can say is that I am so glad that DS has finished primary school. Sports day was just mind numbingly boring because everyone had to have a turn at everything. It wasn't 'proper' races like when most MNers were at school either. It was silly games like throwing bean bags into hoops etc.

No winners or losers either. It was all just done and then we all went home. At least in the 'olden days' (I'm 32) there was a bit of excitement, shouting cheering etc.

Bugger all point participating at all in any competitive activity if the focus isn't on winning. All that age-old rhetoric about 'it's taking part that counts' is a load of shit and is simply aimed at mollifying the less able junior athletes.

On the other hand there is also more to music than winning competitions - plenty of people sing in choirs for fun.

Yes. That's my point. Surely curriculum music lessons do the "for fun" bit just as curriculum PE could. So why have all children compete in sports days and not in music competitions?

You might get all children performing in a music show, but it wouldn't be a competition. So unless they make sports day as a sports 'exhibition' and concentrate in the participation over the winning, then it will always remain an anomaly.

Its weird.

I still feel the focus should be on trying your hardest and rebranding the competition side.

Have sports day and a sports competition for the best/most keen

Hope that makes sense

Taking part does matter, IF, by taking part one is learning and improving, or trying to learn and improve.

In many youth sports age ranges mean a child will enter a competition age range as the youngest and will have to remain in that age range for 2 or more years before they are one of the oldest, in their "young " season they may well not "win" any events , may not even place, but they can and should still be competing to eth best of their ability because that how you learn to compete at that level., so that when you are one of the bigger ones you can race/ shoot/ swim/ tumble as one of the best in the age range.

Outside of school. This year I don't expect DS to place in many races ( he is racing boys who may be 18 months older than him), but I do expect him to be trying hard, to be trying out different tactics and techniques and seeing what he can make work for him some of the time.

I think Sports' Day should be optional. No one is made to perform a musical instrument in front if a school or to perform a dance or to sing if they don't want to. Many children hate it. I don't think anyone should have to take part or attend if they don't want to. I don't think winning matters either.

I remember reading an article a few years back about some schools were considering abolishing sports day because they thought it was unfair apparently for the kids who were crap.

There will always be let downs, disappointments and rejections in life so I think sports days are a good thing whether you're sprty or not. Everyone is good at something and crap at something else.

*sporty or not.