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AIBU?

to ask if you have had an unexpected pregnancy, and what the outcome was?

64 replies

FancyFrenchCake · 30/06/2015 07:37

I am in this position. Thought my family was complete, and now this. I only found out yesterday, and my head is a whirlwind of thoughts. I suffer with hyperemesis during my pregnancies, and usually PND after having my babies.

So I wanted to know, if you have been in this situation, what did you do? What were your circumstances at the time (DC / finances / housing) and did they affect your decision? How many months/years on are you from this, and how do you feel about it now?

Apologies for all the questions, is just because my answer to them, is what is swaying my decision. I'm a regular and have NC for this.

OP posts:

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FancyFrenchCake · 02/07/2015 14:55

Honestly, I think we could get through it, if I wasn't going to get HG. It's the main reason now that is stopping us from going forward. Everything else could be sorted.

I feel very sad about it now, and my head is so confused.

OP posts:

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SideOrderofChips · 02/07/2015 15:34

One is 8.5 and the other is due september. out of my 3 children 1 was planned.

With this one i am pregnant with now, we thought we were done, no more. got rid of everything. But when it happened we talked it through and decided that we could do it and kept him.

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slithytove · 02/07/2015 15:43

Have you developed HG already then? I didn't think it was a given that if you had it in one pregnancy you would have it in another?

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FancyFrenchCake1 · 06/07/2015 09:42

I haven't developed HG yet, no. Although I have been ill with it in all of my pregnancies so far, and have no reason to think it will be any different this time

I've booked an appointment for the procedure and they gave me a date around 16 days from now. I have someone from there calling me for a counselling session today. I'm still undecided.

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FancyFrenchCake1 · 06/07/2015 09:43

Had to add 1 on the end of username as someone else is using it now

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Pollyputthekettleon45 · 06/07/2015 11:05

3 months into a new relationship and I found out I was pregnant. We were careful, always but she found a way

I was 19. Just finished college, DP (now DH) worked part time. The timing was bad. I didn't want an abortion. Had morning sickness for 3 months which was actually 24 hour sickness. When that died down I had sciatica. Then had an horrendous 30+ hours back to back labour with limited pain relief, then had PND and Anxiety for a few years.

I'd do it all again Thankfully the pregnancy and labour her sister wasn't half as bad.

They are worth all of that a million times over. Money is tight but we are happy.

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slithytove · 06/07/2015 13:13

I'm sorry to hear that fancy, although there is no guarantee it will reoccur. I understand how debilitating it is though.

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SnapesCapes · 06/07/2015 13:20

I found out I was pregnant in March 2005, totally unexpected (we'd used condoms every single time). It should never have been anything more than a fling; he was a man child, I was 24, neither of us wanted to commit to the other.

I told my best friend when I found out, before I told him. She sat me down and asked me if I could do it alone, because in all likelihood I'd end up without him supporting me. I thought for a few days, decided I could, we had a go at making it work and he left when DS1 was 5 months old. We made each other incredibly unhappy. However, DS1 will be 10 this October, and is the absolute light of my life. But if I were to accidentally get pregnant now, I doubt DH or I would be pleased, because our family feels complete.

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PerpendicularVincenzo · 06/07/2015 13:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

slithytove · 06/07/2015 16:22

I am perp thank you, I've been lucky enough to go on to have 2 raimbow children. My angel baby started my family and I will always be grateful for that.

Still doesn't help op though!

Hope you are ok op, this is never easy but I know you will do what is right for you and your family. How many children do you have? Can I ask when you developed HG in your previous pregnancies?

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FancyFrenchCake1 · 06/07/2015 17:21

All the replies are helping. It's useful to hear both sides of this, so thank you.

slithytove I have 3 DC & normally my HG is my alternative pregnancy test! It arrives before or as the tests start to work for people. Hasn't kicked in yet though.

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SundayDinner · 06/07/2015 17:26

My dd was unplanned. I never wanted children ever. I was distraught and wanted a termination but had no choice as i found at 26weeks. I'd just lost my job and was in the final year of my degree. She's 3 this month and is the most wonderful, beautiful girl in the entire world. Everything has worked out thank god, but that's not necessarily the same for everyone.

I really hope you make the best decision for you and your family. It's so hard

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slithytove · 06/07/2015 17:38

I'm just concerned that you have said you would keep this pregnancy but for the HG, which you haven't got yet. So each time it hit really early on? How far along are you now?

Are your children mixed sexes or all the same?

I know its anecdotal but my friend had terribly debilitating HG in her first two pregnancies and was fine for her third.

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teatowel · 06/07/2015 17:49

In sort of answer to your question my sister and I were expecting babies within days of each other. I lost mine. It has never bothered me that my DN was born near my due date. I know its not the same, as it was natures choice but I found it easy not to tie the two babies together in my head. There is no wrong or right decision . Poor you, it is so hard