A SAHM walks into a bar...

[Magalouf]

And goes to order a round, when one of the guys in the round comes up and says 'I'll get these, I've got a job'.

AIBU to be pissed off! I said it's fine I got it, but he was pretty insistent. I didn't want a scene. He's a friend of DH, who wasn't there at the time.

Oh I'd have told him "So have I...I'll get them you twat."

Don't talk to him again; wanker.

I'd have chucked it over his head! Did he actually think that was funny?

What a prick!!!!

I may have misunderstood, but I don't think he was trying to be horrible? Or was he?

I used to always say to my friends 'I'll get these' if I knew they were between jobs or whatever or I knew there was a discrepancy in what we earned.

I assumed this was the start of a joke!

It's pretty patronising - assuming somehow they haven't got the sense to know if they can afford it?
Seeking to pay all the time is very trying to wave your money at people, quite tacky.

It wouldn't have bothered me if it was a friend of dh tbh.
I think in a way it's good as it's treating you as an individual rather than an extension of your dh. He has more money than you (personally) as he works, so he'll buy the drinks.

It's pretty awful, I'd have let him buy all the drinks to make up for it!

Well that's kind of assuming sahms don't have access to money. Which is a bad situation to be in but I hope few are. This isn't someone who usually works and is out of a job, this is someone who has (I assume) taken an active decision with her oh to pool resources, financial and otherwise.
I wonder if he'd have done the same if the op had been a man?

Say cheers and order a magnum of champagne?

Surely I'm not the only person that would have said "okay you big hero that's grand, make mine a double"

Ending
...and walks straight out again cos there's no big man offering to buy her a drink and OBVIOUSLY she can't buy one herself.

Just to be clear. I'm happy when people buy me drinks. I accept graciously. But I'd be pissed off if they simply assumed I couldn't and needed a big strong man to do it for me.

I suspect if the op had been a man he wouldn't have wanted to dent her pride

Yanbu. Am actually speechless.

What a wanker!! Yes, I would have changed my drink to a bottle of champagne and seen how his job liked that.

Minty I don't think he planned to claim it. Just felt he had more money than the pp.

We don't know the tone that he used.

I went out to dinner with two couples a few weeks ago and the men insisted on paying for me. I thought they were being rather polite and sweet and thanked them. But Maybe they were being patronising wankers.

I feel like it was a little dig tbh. I'm new to the SAHM thing, and prob a bit sensitive, but I do think it was a little out of order.

Have been trying to think of a better punch line for the thread title to no avail!

"Sorry Im a bit deaf , did you say you are a knob"???

Never ever EVER assume it is ok to insist on paying for a round when someone else is getting it in because you have more money. It is extraordinarily patronising and disrespectful.

Would you be equally as peeved if it was a female friend? I think it was meant as a friendly gesture with no malice. At the end of my Mat leave (took 12 months) there really was no spare cash for a coffee with friends, i was never offended when they offered to buy me a coffee, and once i was back at work i returned the coffees (with interest in the form of cake) i guess it comes down to how well you all know each other?

Yes I think I would. Although not if it was mat leave related. Temp shortness of cash - fine to offer.
Long term financial situation brought about by careful planning - erm what exactly???

Maybe a well intended gesture? I always try to pick up the tab for friends who are students, low earners or on maternity leave. And as karma would have it, when things were tighter for me, some of those that had moved on to high flying careers, picked up the tab. Would it have made a difference if it had been offered by a woman?