to wonder why people complain about noise

[ghostspirit]

i can understand it can be annoying. but i thought kids playing and adult having a get together was quite normal. and in the summer time its more likely to go on late because of the lighter nights it feels earlyer than it is. and our summer does not last that long. when i was a kid partys/get togethers went on till 2-3am not just our family others to. now it seems 10pm is late.

Sorry cross post.

I see what you are doing here Ghost, you are playing the Devil's Advocate.

No worries, easy to see how you read it

... Or like me they might have noise anxiety - I lived in a flat for a few years with endless bass thumping parties almost every night, people screaming, running round, vomit on the stairways, drunken confrontational gangs, everything. Sleep deprivation, terror, the works. Even now in a lovely generally quiet neighbourhood that sound makes me feel involuntarily and physically ill - like this deep lurch and anxiety which can last for hours, with the "is it going to happen again" feeling for days afterwards. That's an extreme of course, and I am trying to tackle it, but a very noisy party till 3am could affect me for weeks and weeks afterwards.

Meanwhile my best friend does all sorts of shifts as a policeman and sometimes ends up effectively going weeks nights without sleep, that's no good to anyone!

But I can see how you wouldn't understand it though if you haven't been through any of it. Also maybe things have changed a bit since the older days, when radios weren't so loud, and you maybe knew the people in your street and could join in or chat to them about it?

ghostspirit - you might not have parties but you seem unable to see the point of view of others with this.

The concept of a party isn't the problem at all. I agree with juliascurr re noise monitors. To the poster upthread who mentioned her daughter's neighbour with music in the garden during the day - I think that's awful. Your music is for you. Others shouldn't be able to hear it. Yes, our neighbours have had parties and I haven't spoken up till about 2a.m. Interestingly they do now keep the noise down, which kind of proves they can. If you want a full on disco, you have to hire a hall.

not enough is done about noise regulations. Decibel monitors and fines would be grand

i can see the view of others. i was just looking at it from the other view. ie its just one night of the year for example

ghost, there's no way of knowing what night that might be. Plus if you are affected by noise from several points then it could be a lot more than 1 night a year. In flats I'd say the floor above and both of next door, plus the 2 flats opposite would be well within "can't sleep" range for any noise. Then there's the people in the building opposite .... it is amazing how inconsiderate people can be though.

I remember a girl consistently screaming "wooo---hooooooooooo" till about 4am on the night of the World Cup Final in the house across the street. When I say consistent, I mean it. I thought she'd go hoarse, but no. Eventually a different neighbour rang the police. They didn't turn up of course, but then that neighbour went and screamed swear words at her and she shut up. He is normally delightful but he works 3 jobs and this was a Sunday night...then he had to be up at 6, poor chap.

Maybe if you live in a really quiet place it's different but in a less-than-affluent part of London we are pretty crammed in. I often wonder how people actually manage to be so noisy? It seems like it takes an effort!

PS when I say "no way of knowing what night" I mean it might be a night you are ill or have to drive a train full of passengers the next day. Even getting advance warning from neighbours isn't much help unless you've got somewhere else to go.

Because they are bitter they have no friends

Actually to be fair 2-3am Music ect is a piss take. 12 you should start to quiet down

Oh that's it isn't it Ugly. Nothing to do with sleep, just plain jealousy.

yeah ok ugly .... other people manage to enjoy themselves without keeping the whole neighbourhood awake.

So the OP is asking why people complain about the parties that she doesn't have, referring back to 25 years ago when her parents held parties that no-one complained about? Am I missing something?

If the noise isn't a problem then why do those that :-

own cockerels put them as far from their own back door as possible?

Put trampolines as far down the garden as possible?

send their children down the street to play?

There is noise and there is NOISE. We went for a meal and a woman in the restaurant cackled at every 5 minutes, no-one complained because even though it was annoying it was a place where noise was expected.

I lived next door to someone who thought that 3am in the morning was an ok time to put music on at full blast. There answer to requests to turn down the music was that they had the right to enjoy where they lived (usually to the detriment of those around them). They had been kicked out of 4 houses (for noise complaints) by the time they moved next door to me.

Different neighbourhoods have different expectations and atmospheres. If you live in a city centre flat, you're going to expect constant noise throughout the night - bars, pubs, parties, traffic, etc. If you live in a family suburb, you're going to expect quiet during the night, so a loud party outside would be unreasonable.

I'd say that music until 2/3am inside with all the windows shut was ok though. We've done it before regularly and only ever had one complaint - which was about the smokers being loud in the front garden who subsequently shut up. WIBU?

YABU. If you want to have a get-together until 3am, it's considerate to choose a venue where you won't be disturbing anyone else.

I've lived near people who thought noise was acceptable and it was an annoying interruption to sleep or working late to finish something. Other people's chosen noise is a kind of pollution as it's not something you can get away from.

Also not everyone complains, because loud noise can be intimidating. If neighbours are thoughtless enough to be noisy then they're probably not going to give a polite welcome to someone asking them to turn it down.

I think this has increased since the smoking ban came in - less and less people now smoke in their homes so the outside space is now the party space otherwise half the party would be outside smoking - so before it would start to get cooler and people would migrate inside but now the have chimneas and patio heaters to enable them to stay out smoking, drinking and chatting.

Yes to smoking ban ... Also I really don't think that you could always play music as loud as you can now - or at least I don't remember next door's parties when I was kid shaking all the furniture/floors in our house - whereas these days everyone can afford huge bass speakers etc.

The attitude that people ought to expect to sleep around someone's fucking noise is disgraceful.

Makes me . Selfish pricks.

A lot of people also don't complain about noise (or report it to council etc) as its something you have to declare when you sell your house. So not only do you have to suffer with noisy neighbours, reporting them leaves you at risk of not being able to sell your home.

i do notice that things seem much lounder at night time.

3am is not a great time to be fully woken up by people's noisy screechy goodbyes in the street after not being able to sleep properly due to feeling the bass through the walls. Every week or two and not just weekends either.

I'm tempted to get water bombs and drench the inconsiderate bastards next time.

Nin. We had exactly that problem. We wanted to move partially because of a noisy and violent neighbour. We wanted to report it but because they send him a letter we decided against it. Firstly it would have let him know that he had been reported and he was dreadfully violent. Secondly we wouldn't have been able to sell the house.
as it is the guy who bought it ended up getting a noise abatement order

I think it is the bass that is the worst thing. Music I can handle but the current continuous 'doof doof doof' of bass drives me insane.

Years ago the music was better and not so bass driven and out music systems were much less powerful.