to think this is just bad dress sense and to have suggested DH got changed?

[LuluJakey1]

Lovely day today and we decided to do a walk along the sea front to the next village where there is a nice junky market every weekend and places to have lunch and then walk back. DS ready in pushchair. I am dressed in blue cotton dress and flat sandals and pretty cardi.

DH comes downstairs in grey cotton shorts that are below his knees, washed out and baggy and do nothing for him except make him look fat and slobby(which he isn't) a once white t-shirt which is now grimy looking and shapeless, navy blue deck shoes and one grey sock which went up to his calf. He has got lots of nice things. I said he should get changed into something nicer and he looked hurt. Couldn't see what was wrong with it at all- including the one grey sock which he was wearing because the deck shoe rubs on his toe.

In the end after 'words' he changed into sort of slate blue shorts, a dark blue t shirt and walking sandals ad looked 1 million times better. He says he was quite happy and only changed to suit me and I should have left him to wear what he liked.

Not that I am for one moment accusing your DH of any such crust-causing activities, OP

I don't think YAB completely U (one sock ffs but I suppose it depends on how your normally communicate (we are fairly blunt around here).

I have apparently told DP that his choice of outfit's hellish on occasion. He's not scarred by this. He's not the most snappy dresser, by his own admission. If he then chooses to go out wearing said outfit that's his lookout and I won't push it. (He knows and fully accepts that I think one of his winter jackets is hideous. He likes it because it's warm and comfortable, so he wears it and I convince him into a smarter one on high days and holidays).

He tends to you for, 'I'm not sure that's the best look' (which we all know is code for 'thats hellish'). It's fine - I'd rather know but then I don't tend to knowingly go out looking slobbish unless I'm popping to the corner shop.

He did say he would accept me going out in one sock though, if it was warranted. When I asked what would warrant this, he said 'umm, you're other leg was in plaster?'

I'm fairly casual in my dress but one sock? One sock

YANBU

Really? I would not dream of telling my partner what to wear.

I would laugh about the 1 sock though, but still it would be up to him.

I would not appreciate negative comments from him about my clothes either.

I didn't say then that it made him look fat and slobby! I wouldn't do that! I said he looked really good in the blue shorts and why didn't he get changed into those with a blue t shirt. I did say the one sock looked ridiculous- because it did.

He wasn't really hurt. We have teased each other about it all day. He really can't see the problem with the sock though.

He has just come downstairs from having a bath and was dancing round the kitchen wearing his 'lucky pants' and the sock- which has made me laugh. (But they might work) He is out watering the pots on the patio in them.

How come he hasn't worked out that plasters stop your shoes rubbing just as efficiently as one sock?

YABU

The one sock thing was plain weird but other than that, he should have told you to bugger off when you told him to change.

I'm also going to throw in another 'YABU' just for the use of 'pretty cardi', because I find that pretty boak-worthy although I accept that's my own issue

If your loved ones cannot be honest and tell you that you look ridiculous, doesn't fit, doesn't suit you etc then who will?

It has nothing to do with trying to control or being their parent.. surely it is far crueller to let them go out, looking ridiculous and being laughed at by others?

You sound pretty normal to me OP. I'm sorry, it might make me shallow, but the whole 'I don't take care of myself' vibe is such a turn off. One sock and 'lucky pants' (cringe!!). Wouldn't be lucky in my world...

I want to know where the nice town by sea with markets and lunchy places is !

The 'lucky' pants are a joke. The expression makes us cringe and they are horrible - that's why he is wearing them with the sock. But we have had lots of laughs today and lots of funny conversations. It's been a happy day so it might end that way too. Who knows! Not unless that bloody sock disappears.

I don't care what my OH wears.
He is as smart as a pin for work, very crisp, weekends he is the total opposite. Frayed hems on trousers, old faded clothes.
I don't care- its his business not mine.
I doubt others notice or care. They are all so wrapped up in their own lives to notice if someone is looking a bit scruffy.

I'd have been about the grimy tshirt but one sock pulled up to the calf would have been the absolute deal breaker for me!

YANBU to expect him to look decent if you are going out in public with him.

I doubt others notice or care. They are all so wrapped up in their own lives to notice if someone is looking a bit scruffy.

I think that a few of the answers on here show that some people do notice or care.

Whether or not that bothers you is another matter.

I have trained DH up over 9 years to dress better. He almost always gets it right himself now without me prompting. Can you drop in massive compliments when he wears the nice stuff to steer him in the right direction?

My dh wears spongebob shorts with a spacejam basketball top. I take the mickey out of him, but would never ask/tell him to change! He's an adult and wears what he wants.

Yabu obviously

Someone has obviously given him that that sock so he is free of being a fashion elf

I wouldn't be bothered about what he was wearing but I'd have told him to put the other sock on.

YANBU. I let my DH go out in whatever he wants and as such, says he always ends up feeling like a hobo following me around. He's started to make a bit more of an effort on his own.

*I let my DH go out in whatever he wants

Very noble of you,- can you imagine this thread if it was written by men- allowing or criticising their partners dress?

I often tell DH to wear something else. How else is he going to learn any dress sense . Although after 26 years you'd think he might have learned something - but oh no, he still regularly looks like a scruff. Sometimes though I don't actually need to say anything, I just give him the look and he gets changed. I think partners should take their lead from each other - if one has dressed smartly to go out, the other shouldn't look like they're dressed for an afternoons decorating, I think that is more disprespectful that one partner telling the other what to wear.

I often tell my wife to wear something else. How else is she going to learn any dress sense . Although after 26 years you'd think she might have learned something - but oh no, she still regularly looks like a scruff. Sometimes though I don't actually need to say anything, I just give her the look and she gets changed.

He has the perfect right to go out in whatever he likes

Just like I have the perfect right not to go out with homeless hobo tinfoil hat wearing numpty (he said it was a cricket hat)

Dh now has 'going out with wifey' clothes and 'I'm off to b and q/down the tip' clothes.