AIBU to be disappointed that the new CEO of the NCT is a man?

[ArcheryAnnie]

The new CEO of the NCT is due to start work shortly - a man, Nick Wilkie.

The NCT's mission is to support parents during pregnancy, birth and early childhood. Their line re the new CEO is that men can be parents, but my line is that it's only women who get pregnant and give birth.

There are many, many senior, suitably qualified women in the UK who could perform this role. Furthermore, from my experience with the NCT, all the events I went to, it was women who do most of the work. I'm tired of organisations where women make up the majority of the volunteers, or the workers, but where a man is the CEO. I didn't expect it of the NCT.

AIBU to feel massively disappointed that the NCT are putting a man in charge?

The level of sexism exhibited here is really surprising.... And disappointing.

There was a job available, people applied, and someone got hired. Which is what women (justifiably) have been wanting for all of my life - a fair process.

Get over yourselves.

The chief exec of tamba the twin and multiple birth charity is a man ( or was, I may not be up to date) he was fantastic, I met him, he did a great job.

The point is this man at the nct is not required to give birth as part of the job. The nct has many issues that need addressing and if he is the best person to do so then it doesn't matter if he is male or female. Does he have the skills to run the organisation and tackle its issues? Which may include:

• moving away from of being middle class, reaching out to working class women and the funding and financial issues that involves
• unqualified people ante natal classes, really??!!! Who goes to these things?! There is competition in the ante natal market now from all sorts of other providers

-diversity, ethnic minority mums don't are less likely to use nct , it's a white middle class take up

• too much focus on natural birth alienating people who have birth intervention

If this guy has the financial, marketing and strategic know how to drive them forward to a new position then great. He doesn't need a vagina to do that

68% of charity workers are female. But only 30% of CEOs.

Maybe all the best workers in the sector are men?

Yanbu.

A man leading the NCT is total rubbish.

How the fuck can he understand the issues of pregnancy and childbirth?

And actually, it is not sexist to say that a MAN cannot understand a completely FEMALE issue - it's realistic.

What was going through his head!?

I remember being totally that the president of the Mothers' Uniona few years ago was a man.

The MN thread at the time of his appointment was that the job should go to the best candidate, regardless on their sex.

I agree with you OP.

In an ideal world, of course, your stance would be unreasonable.but we live in a horribly sexist world and it is frankly depressing that there wasn't a female selected.

Ummm....giving birth isn't 'all about the woman'. In our NCT classes Dads were made to feel they had an equally important role to the Mums in the giving birth process. If Mum gets very unwell and/or needs a crash c section, it's the Dad that steps in to give those first newborn cuddles whilst Mum recovers. Also the fact that a women with kids has experienced childbirth only means she has experienced how childbirth was for HER on the occasions she gave birth, her experiences aren't necessarily typical of how other women might feel.

I think yabu.

As someone says up thread just what we need a man telling us how to do pregnancy and birth

Maybe he thinks that the NCT should be about empowering individuals to do what they want rather than pushing a one dimensional agenda of natural birthing and breastfeeding? I can do without anyone male or female telling me what to do.....

I don't like it. I wouldn't have a male GYN or midwife. Nor would I employ a mechanic who had never driven a car. It just doesn't make sense to me.

I think YABU and sexist.

Men can be parents too you know.

I would imagine that as CEO his role is about management and organisation, not about running birthing workshops. I don't see how being a man is going to stop him being good at that.

Except that if a man can apply for a job like this - and there aren't many jobs like this - then it tells me a lot of things about his attitudes to women, his lack of attunement to possible problems, and his desire to advance himself more than the organisation, all of which I think will be actively bad for the NCT.

This is an enormous leap of logic, and a huge slight on someone who (presumably) you know nothing about really. NCT is a parenting charity not a childbirth or pregnancy charity. Are you suggesting that only women can represent parents?
If there is an issue about the balance of workers perhaps this is something for him to look at but maybe it's a historical gender bias, maybe it's that it fits with SAH parents or school hours - could be any number of reasons.

And don't worry, you're doing fine on AIBU

OP: AIBU?
MAJORITY OF OTHER POSTERS: yes you are a bit
OP: no I'm not
MAJORITY OF OTHER POSTERS: yes you are. A bit
OP: I'm not

I imagine the NCT may see appointing a man as a POSITIVE step towards their stance as a parenting charity.

For centuries parenting has been seen as a typically female role, and part of the move towards true gender equality must see men taking on a more equal parenting role.

Yes there are some aspects of parenting ie pregnancy, childbirth and breastfeeding which only a woman can perform. But by the sounds of it this is no longer the charity's focus.

AliceAnneB... You must be kidding? Wouldn't employ a mechanic who doesn't drive! I like the idea of trying to make an analogy, but fuck me, you've gone crazy. I fly about 30 times a year, and I am pretty sure the vast majority of the mechanics who keep planes in the sky can't fly them.... I must be doomed!!!!

I have to ask... What about sexual health docs and nurses? Just women for the women, and men for the men???

As a PP said, NCT is no longer a childbirth charity. It's a parenting one and looking at Nick Wilkie's background and what NCT want to achieve, it does seem like he has experience reaching marginalised communities etc. NCT really does have to get away from its image of being a charity for the well to do middle class.

An example of how NCT tried to reach more diverse communities under Belinda Phipps was by having a "graffiti wall" at their national conference a few years ago. Because all poor people like graffiti? I would hope that the new CEO has a bit more sensitivity than that.

Also, he won't be the one out there running birthing workshops and breastfeeding counselling sessions. They have trained staff for that.

I'm not sure how being a woman who has given birth automatically makes someone the best person for a job. Would they suddenly be an expert on ALL things childbirth and all of the issues that can occur for every single woman they are supposed to represent?

I too find a lot of these attitudes on here incredibly sexist.

Exactly what the Dowager said. So we really believe that men are just so likely to be superior leaders and the most suitably qualified candidate for the job that there couldn't possibly be an equally appropriate female candidate?
Honestly? Also we believe all men and women have equally the same opportunities to get into positions so they approach positions like this on an equal playing field?

In senior recruitments like this, an exec search firm is usually used and they identify and approach suitable candidates (right skills, experience etc). It's not unusual for an informal (unwritten!) criterion to be. 'We'd like a woman' . And for this role I don't think that's unreasonable. This is a figurehead and its a largely voluntary organisation run by and for women, and therefore it's understandable that members would feel more comfortable with a female head. It's not logical, or PC, but emotional, and what's wrong with that, it's their business?

I'm sure the new CEO is eminently qualified and as I have a DH in the childcare business I'm all for gender equality and breaking down barriers for men in the childrearing business. But, I wonder if they could have tried harder to get a woman in post as it seems that's what a majority of NCT people would have felt more confident with?

BTW never did engage with NCT so I'm actually not fussed either way myself !!

I never have, never will, indeed never can experience pregnancy and childbirth. Good to know I am unsuitable to ever work toward improving the lot of those who do.

Incredibly sexist attitudes on here . All I care about is that the right person and the best person got the job. And if that person was Nick Wilkie then best of luck to him.

As for not having a male gynaecologist - well I've seen my fair share - well quite frankly I want to see the best. And mine have always been men.

If I had to choose between my current male gynaecologist and a female one , I 'd choose my current one. Every single time.

He is outstanding and an asset to my NHS trust - do I care that he doesn't have vagina or hasn't given birth? Course not, all I care about is that he is the best person for the job

Not sure if you are bu. do you think that the previous CEO was so very awful that they wanted someone utterly different and that's why they went for a guy?

Either way I really don't think the CEO of the nct needs to be a woman. The birth courses are targeted at parents, mothers to be and fathers to be. I work in a similar field and some of the men I work with are very smart, empathetic and caring. I had not met any guys like that pefore I stared working in this field apart from dh.

I think my issue with this is not so much that he hasn't ever been pregnant or given birth- you don't necessarily expect a CEO to be an expert in whatever it is the company concerned makes or does. You expect a CEO to be an expert in managing, promoting and growing a business, whatever it is. That is their transferable skill set. My concern is more nebulous. What sort of message does it send to women and girls when once again the person at the top of an organisation is a man even though the majority of employees and volunteers are women? And perhaps even more nebulously, it does seem a bit symbolic of the 20th/21st century encroachment of men into the world of childbirth. I would be interested to know how many women applied, and how many were on the short list.

Heels99 excellent points

A CEO's job is to guide the organisation but he doesn't need to have had first hand experience of childbirth for that. Plus, as has been mentioned earlier, the NCT very much favours a particular type of childbirth so are we saying that only womem who've given birth without interventions should apply?

How many charity CEOs can say they have direct experience of the thing their charity represents? If that was the essential criteria then the RSPCA would really struggle...but my cat was abandoned once so he'd be in with a shout

Yes, I notice no one has yet answered the repeatedly asked question about whether childless women would be acceptable as potential CEOs of the NCT. Are they a mechanic who has perhaps had a car parked outside their house for a few years, and can top up the oil without any help, but never actually driven it round the block?

YABU.

I think two people just did as you were typing, martika!