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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To leave DDs (5&8) alone for 5 mins?

74 replies

dontrunwithscissors · 26/06/2015 15:15

My husband has just been made redundant, which means we will have to survive with just 1 car. The DDs's school is over 2 miles away so DH will have to keep the car during the day. (There are no buses he can get and while they could walk when the weather is nice, we are in N Scotland and I wouldn't want them walking day-to-day).

I can get a bus into work, but it's a 15 minute walk to the bus stop and I have a rheumatological condition that makes walking painful. Some days I will manage it fine, but on other days walking that far would leave me in pain.

WIBU to get my DH to drop me off near the bus stop while the DDs stayed at home on a morning? He would be out 5-10 mins, depending on whether he took me all the way, or dropped me off 5 minutes walk away.

DD1 (8) is very, very sensible and mature. She has said she doesn't mind being left for 5 minutes. DD2 (5.5) also happy. I can't decide, however, whether they're a bit too young. AIBU?

OP posts:
formerbabe · 26/06/2015 15:17

Absolutely not IMO...so many things could potentially go wrong.

Number3cometome · 26/06/2015 15:17

Why can't they get in the car with you?

BreacaBoudica · 26/06/2015 15:17

Why can't your kids go in the car with you both while he drops you at the bus stop?!

woowoo22 · 26/06/2015 15:17

I wouldn't, would take them in the car.

steppemum · 26/06/2015 15:18

8 yes, 5 no.

My youngest are 7 and 10. I leave the 10 yo, I don't yet leave the 7 yo, even for 5 minutes

Original poster
dontrunwithscissors · 26/06/2015 15:18

They can come with us. I was just pondering at what point others think it's OK to pop out for 5 mins.

OP posts:
steppemum · 26/06/2015 15:19

I sometimes take ds to the station, I am gone 15 minutes, I take the 7 yo with me every time, she just gets in the car in PJs or PJs and coat

WorraLiberty · 26/06/2015 15:20

No matter what way you look at it, it's bound to be a bit more than 5 minutes.

I would leave a sensible 8yr old but not the 5yr old.

It's not fair for your DD to have that responsibility.

Original poster
dontrunwithscissors · 26/06/2015 15:21

We can just bundle them into the car with a cup full of Cheerios like we have to do at the moment when we're running around like lunatics to get out of the house for work. Did I mention I'm a bit relieved that DH will be a SAHP?

OP posts:
vvega · 26/06/2015 15:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TheFlis12345 · 26/06/2015 15:24

No way. If, God forbid, your husband had an accident driving back they could be left for hours before anyone found out they were there.

Number3cometome · 26/06/2015 15:24

Chances are, you'd leave them at home for 5 mins and they would be fine.

Thing is, what if something did happen? What if there was an accident (car or at home), what if the car broke down? What if there was traffic?
What if someone knocked the door whilst you were out?

All sorts of reasons that I would say no, not just yet.

I leave DS (12) and DD (8) at home whilst I go shopping etc and I am only just comfortable with that over the last year.

HazleNutt · 26/06/2015 15:28

"If, God forbid, your husband had an accident driving back they could be left for hours " - you always hear this argument in similar threads. But if the children are in the car as well, they would also be in this accident. I would think being home alone is a preferable option in this case, no?

Gobbolinothewitchscat · 26/06/2015 15:30

No Confused. They can go in the car with you, can't they? If not, for a reason I've missed, do you have a neighbour who could pop in for 10 mins or so? Maybe an older person with no DCs of their own

AnitaManeater · 26/06/2015 15:31

I think it's unreasonable to ask even a sensible 8yr old to take responsibility for a younger sibling.

vvega · 26/06/2015 15:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
dontrunwithscissors · 26/06/2015 15:33

My gut feeling was that DD2 is certainly too young, but wasn't sure whether I was out of line with the norm. A taxi wouldn't come out to us for that short a distance.

Wish I'd followed my instinct to not buy a house with poor public transport and out of walking range for the school. Ho hum.

OP posts:
DoJo · 26/06/2015 15:33

I think it's more that the 8 year old would effectively be responsible for the 5 year old that is concerning - if anything did happen, even if it wasn't her fault or even preventably, would the 8 year old be able to deal with it, or deal with the guilt of not being able to help her sister?

Number3cometome · 26/06/2015 15:35

HazleNutt

Well no, we aren't talking 5 car pile up, but any accident could delay him for long enough for something bad to happen at home.

vvega · 26/06/2015 15:35

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HazleNutt · 26/06/2015 15:37

Well as long as the DH in question can guarantee he will have light traffic accidents only..

Number3cometome · 26/06/2015 15:39

HazleNutt

No more than he can guarantee getting there and back safely in 5 minutes.

Best to make sure the kids are with an adult.

Uhplistrailer · 26/06/2015 15:41

If it was a sensible 8yo on their own, I'd say yes, but I think for them to take responsibility for a 5yo is too much.

Original poster
dontrunwithscissors · 26/06/2015 15:41

Point taken.

I think the greatest danger is choking, fire, accidents at home rather than traffic accidents (It's a five min drive through our new-build housing estate where it's impossible to drive more than 20 miles an hour.). However, DH could have a heart attack behind the wheel from all the fucking stress his work is putting him under.

OP posts:
CalebWomble · 26/06/2015 15:46

RTA's are up there with leading causes of serious injury too though!

Tricky one - if you were just talking about going to the corner shop, I'd say fine, but driving up to a mile away from them with a fair bit of potential to be held up: probably not.