To leave DDs (5&8) alone for 5 mins?

[dontrunwithscissors]

My husband has just been made redundant, which means we will have to survive with just 1 car. The DDs's school is over 2 miles away so DH will have to keep the car during the day. (There are no buses he can get and while they could walk when the weather is nice, we are in N Scotland and I wouldn't want them walking day-to-day).

I can get a bus into work, but it's a 15 minute walk to the bus stop and I have a rheumatological condition that makes walking painful. Some days I will manage it fine, but on other days walking that far would leave me in pain.

WIBU to get my DH to drop me off near the bus stop while the DDs stayed at home on a morning? He would be out 5-10 mins, depending on whether he took me all the way, or dropped me off 5 minutes walk away.

DD1 (8) is very, very sensible and mature. She has said she doesn't mind being left for 5 minutes. DD2 (5.5) also happy. I can't decide, however, whether they're a bit too young. AIBU?

How about you drive the 5 min drive alone & leave the car there. Your DH & the kids could make the 15 min walk later on & pick it up on the way to school? Or something similar?

No, absolutely not and I'm shocked that anyone would leave a five year old and go off in the car. What if your DH had a car accident and was longer than expected.

Take them in the car with you. why on earth wouldn't you?

SHE HASNT

NO BUT SHE'S ASKING WHETHER SHE SHOULD

At risk of being flamed, I would say it might be ok.
At that time in the morning, are the girls normally quite calm? Could you - for example - pop on a DVD and say that they have to sit and watch it until DH comes back (only exception is toilet). No drinking, no eating, no scissors etc.
A couple of years ago we were buying a house in our village. We left DD (then 9) with DS (then 6), under similar conditions for maybe 30 mins at a time while we took a car load of stuff up the road and unloaded it. We were sure that they could use the phone (DS once called to see if he was allowed to get a Ribena....)
I think that DS was on the young side, but he has always been very independent. He just carried on with whatever (mostly computer) and didn't really notice we were out.
[braces self for comments]

What's wrong with asking?

Jesus.

Is there a teen living next door? You might be able to get them to babysit for the five or ten minutes for a £1 a day?

What about an electric scooter? They are heavy to live though so not sure if it would work for you.

I'd be tempted to leave them for the short trip but only if you had good Nieghbours. You could use a walkie tally or phone/video link to monitor them off the trip. Four roads through an estate is such a short journey. even if your car broke down your DH could spring home in a few minutes.
i don't see a problem.

I actually say if you trust the kids, then it's fine. You could have the eight year old be drilled on any kind of emergency, for example, if daddy isn't back within x minutes, phone granny or a trusted friend or relative. If there's a fire, then get out. Kids are individuals, but I left mine from about the age of six (twins) for short periods and I am completely happy with my decisions. It was part of a very considered program of teaching them independence. They have always felt comfortable with the levels of it too.

I wouldn't.

would the other 3 cycling the school run be an option? If not, it's everyone in the car I think.

There's no right or wrong age and no law which specifies it. Much depends on the children themselves and your personal circumstances. However, I'd say 5 is too young, even for 5 minutes. I started leaving mine for 5 minutes at about 7 years of age. By 9 it had worked up to 30 mins. By 11 I'd say a couple of hours. However, my DS could not be left for the same amount of time as my DD at the same age because he was nowhere near as inherently sensible as she was.

As a rule of thumb, imagine this scenario: Next door reports a burglary. Police attend and do some house to house enquiries. On knocking your door they find your DC at home alone. At what age do you think your absence would trigger them putting in a safeguarding report?

I'd do it. And have done.

There's no right or wrong age and no law which specifies it.

No there isn't. Until something goes wrong or someone reports you when you can be prosecuted for either neglect or putting them at risk.

Put them in the car, not worth leaving them at home.

I think the suggestion of you driving and your DH and the DDS picking the car up later is a very good one if you don't want to take them with you.

I wouldn't leave them. But mostly because when I leave my DC I'm leaving them as two separate people rather than leaving one in charge of the other. I think leaving an 8 year old in charge of a 5 year old is a bit unfair (to both of them). In this case they would both come in the car.

I think leaving an 8 year old in charge of a 5 year old is a bit unfair (to both of them)

I think the recommendation is that 14 is the acceptable age to leave a child in charge of another. Not law though, just a suggestion.

I'd forgotten this... I once left 12 yr old DS1 in charge of his 5 yr old sister whilst I picked DS2 up from a school disco. They were both happy, I left him reading her a bedtime story and returned 15 minutes later.

DS1 was standing at the top of the stairs looking somewhat flustered (understatement!) because DD had thrown up on herself, her bed, him and the iPad. They were both fine (bar the vomit!) but it did show me how quickly things can go wrong with absolutely no prior warning.

This is the same sort of distance I travel daily by cab. The taxi office have never questioned it and it costs £3.50 - I do live fairly close to town tho.
It's worth enquiring

prepperpig I'm mulling over in my head at what point I would be happy to leave them for five minutes. I was seeking a consensus on the typical age that people feel OK leaving their kids. I didn't say I was going to leave them--indeed, if you'd read my last couple of posts, you would see that I was on the side of feeling my 5 year old is certainly too young, but it's always good to get other opinions.

I din't say you have left them OP. I said "I'm shocked anyone would leave" them. It was directed both at you OP and also at those who said it would be ok.

Why are we arguing over semantics of language and grammar when the issue is, is it safe to leave a five year old? Of course it isn't. Personally I think its completely negligent parenting and more so because this isn't a one off emergency situation where your DH had to rush you to a hospital or something but its a planned, every day occurrence you're considering. How much effort is it to put your children in the back of a car to keep them safe? None at all.

They will be just fine

Cant you dress the kids for school, into car, DH drop you at work and theb drop the dcs at school on his way back?

My jaw dropped that you have even asked and also that there are some saying its ok. Get up earlier and get them ready and take them with you. Put shoes on and go in PJ's but leave them alone is neglectful. If your DC's mention that they are home alone at school you may find that social services agree that leaving an 8 year old in charge of a 5 year old at home alone neglect too.

For me, the problem is the burden of responsibility on the older child. I wouldn't leave a child under the age of 12ish in charge of a younger sibling. I would take them in the car. Or at least take the little one, if the older one is definitely ok at home for 10 mins.