About bridesmaids shoes?

[mummyrunnerbean]

Getting married two weeks on Saturday and am worried I'm being bridezilla-ish, so just want to check before I reply to this:

DP's two nieces are being bridesmaids. A few weeks ago I told them the sort of shoes I wanted them to get and left it to the older one/ SIL to sort out, and said I'd pay them back. SIL's just emailed me to show me the ones they've chosen and older DN's are fine but I really don't like younger DN's... WIBU to email back to say I don't really like them, and if they're the ones she really wants she can wear them for the reception but not the ceremony, and suggest alternatives? I really don't want to be dictatorial and it seems ridiculous to be getting het up about a seven year-old's footwear choice, but I really don't like them. I will obviously pay SIL back regardless, and at the end of the day it's up to her/DN! Just worried I'm BU to object!

[ditavonteesed]

i think I would let a 7year old wear what they have chosen, a happy bridesmaid looks so much better on your pics than a miserable but perfectly coordinated one.
My dd's were bridesmaids for sil a few years ago and dd2 was about 7, she wasnt in a lot of the photos as she really didnt want to be, the options were a screaming child in photos or no child in photos. the photographer got some gorgeous shots of her sat with her back to everyone dangling her feet in the pool. dd remembers it as the best day ever she was just totally overwhelmed at the time.
You wont care afterwards what shoes people had on, you will remember the happy day and your lovely bridesmaids will too.

[TerrorAustralis]

YANBU considering they are completely different to what you asked for. It might be that younger DN fell in love with the ugly sandals and SIL conceded to her.

What did the other DN get? Can you ask that the younger one gets the same?

[TheOriginalWinkly]

Maybe nobody would care, but I don't see why you should pay for ugly clashing shoes that are light years away from the ones you wanted. I would say something.

[diddl]

Even gold ballet shoes might have been better.

Funny isn't it as I was thinking, gold sandals, pink flower, sounds quite bridesmaidy & cute

How wrong!

[SweetSorrow]

They are vile, I'd tell SIL that they aren't going to match at all, and can you order the other pair for her to collect?

[sebsmummy1]

Why not just buy some plain white ballet flats in her size and ask her to wear them for the official photos only then she can spend the rest of the day in her shoes of choice and everyone's happy.

Honestly in years to come this will make you chuckle, it isn't a big deal, you're just stressed.

[TheHouseOnBellSt]

YANBU. Those are holiday sandals! Fancy sandals for warm days or a party in the garden. Not wedding-ish at all!

[shirleybasseyslovechild]

yanbu!!
how on earth did sil think they were white ballet shoes?

" hi sil, thanks for the link.
I'd really prefer if both girls wore white ballet pumps . let me know when you find some and I'll reimburse the cost. Can't wait to see you all.love OP"

[WhatchaMaCalllit]

In fairness they're not the worst sandals to have but I think your SIL is getting you to buy shoes/sandals that her DD will wear again.

They don't look gold with a pink flower to me, they look to be gold with a gold flower (but I'm not going to start the "what colour do you see when you look at the shoes/dress" )

I'd pay for them and let your SIL keep them but if you can, I'd get a pair of while ballet pumps for your bridesmaid to wear on the day if that is what you're looking for.

Any chance that your SIL DD saw the corsage on the shoes and at aged 7 thought "They're pretty" so would go for something like these instead?
www.clothingattesco.com/shoes+sandals/f+f-corsage-sparkly-pumps/invt/az512348&bklist=icat,4,shop,catgkids,kids-footwear

[WhatchaMaCalllit]

Even if your SIL had bought them in white they wouldn't be so bad -
www.clothingattesco.com/shoes+sandals/f+f-plaited-sandals/invt/az512220&bklist=icat,4,shop,catgkids,kids-footwear

[mummyrunnerbean]

Right I have a plan! Think I'm going to suggest those as an alternative Watcha, and failing that go for just buying some myself for her to try on the day and if she doesn't like them or they're not comfy just bow to the gladiator sandals of doom...

[mummyrunnerbean]

And I know you're all right it doesn't really matter- I am aware I'm slightly in tunnel vision mode!

[Runningupthathill82]

Just let the seven year old girl wear the shoes she likes. Nobody will notice, she'll be happy - I honestly can't understand why you'd give yourself a headache by not just letting this one go.

[formerbabe]

It's a tiny tiny detail of the overall day. No one will care...and I reckon on the actual day the thought of what shoes your bridesmaid is wearing won't even cross your mind.

[bruffin]

Why don't you buy her some ballet pumps or the white ones above and ask her to wear them for the service photos and let her change into the gladiator ones later

[BlueBananas]

Only on MN do people not care about things like this
Of course you care what your bridesmaids are wearing, otherwise people wouldn't pick the colour scheme/dress/shoes and pay for it all! In fact, people wouldn't even have bridesmaids atall because the only purpose of them is to stand around looking pretty isn't it?

OP tell her straight they're not going to work and suggest a suitable alternative - YADNBU and everyone in real life would agree

[SaucyJack]

Those white ones linked above are very pretty too. If she's likes those, then it's a winner all round.

Agree with the above poster tho who said that a happy child in fugly shoes is better than a bridesmaid with a face like a slapped backside in photos.

If she's really set on the sandals, then just buy them. Pick your battles yadda yadda.

[springsprang]

bluebananas don't be so ridiculous and please don't try to include me in your silly 'everyone in real life would agree' statement. It's a pair of shoes on a small child for a few hours.

[Notso]

YABU, it doesn't matter.

It still grieves me to this day that I actually wasted my precious time thinking about all the nitty gritty details about my wedding.
I fogot to take all the evening table decorations, candles, vases, flowers etc. I didn't even notice until we got home the next day. We've never even printed off a single photograph from the two discs full we paid for.

[batfish]

I don't think anyone will notice the shoes - I see where you are coming from as I was obsessed with tiny details of my wedding but I look back now and realise that nobody will have noticed or cared about the things that I had such dilemmas over! You should have gone with them to choose the shoes if you had a very particular idea but now they have got them I don't think you should bother asking them to change them, I'm sure they will look fine and honestly none of your guests will probably even look at the bridesmaids shoes. Congratulations on your wedding!

[Malenky]

The fact that people won't notice the shoes and won't care what a small child is wearing doesn't matter here IMO, it's your SIL having the cheek to ignore everything you said and use your money to buy shoes that her DD will wear again! On that basis I'd send something breezy and polite such as the poster above who said something like "hi SIL, I would really prefer it if both girls wore white ballet pumps, let me know if you need me to pick them up for you if you can't find any" etc

[Cumbrae]

YABU.

She's 7, no one will look at or care about her shoes.

If you make a big deal about this you'll be embarrassed about it for years.

[TheOriginalWinkly]

My family would notice. Anyway other people noticing isn't the point. The point is that the OP is paying for shoes so that she can put the child in something she likes. Otherwise the OP should save her money and the bridesmaid should wear shoes she already has.