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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this request from the school is BIZARRE?

93 replies

GammonAndEgg · 23/06/2015 20:57

Sent home today with my Year 6 DS:

Traditionally at the end of each academic year the children in year six have a collection to buy the school a gift. Each child can bring in money which is combined as a year group to buy a gift to present to the school at the leavers' assembly as a lasting memory of their time here. In the past children have bought trees, a bench and ornamental features. Donations to the class teachers by Monday.

OP posts:
arethereanyleftatall · 23/06/2015 20:59

Is it from the school or a parent rep?

RavioliOnToast · 23/06/2015 20:59

send him in with 20p Wink

yanbu, it's a bit forward IMHO.

WishIwasanastronaut · 23/06/2015 20:59

Er, i think the MN phrase is 'a bit grabby'. Bloodyhell.

BeaufortBelle · 23/06/2015 21:00

So, the parents give the school a gift because year six children only have the money their parents give them.

momtothree · 23/06/2015 21:00

What? Seriously?

BeenWondering · 23/06/2015 21:01

What's so bizarre about it? It's not as if they're asking for donations to fund a jacuzzi for the teachers lounge. As long as they haven't dictated an obscene amount and left it up to parents to decide an appropriate and affordable contribution then there's nothing unreasonable about it.

LokiBear · 23/06/2015 21:02

I don't think it is bizarre. It us s lovely idea. Your son has had the benefit of enjoying the things that other year groups have left. Now its his classes turn. I assume there will be a little ceremony of sorts. There is no pressure to contribute if it isn't your thing.

GinandJag · 23/06/2015 21:02

We had this at my DSs' prep school.

SophieHatters · 23/06/2015 21:03

Trees can be bought for very little - I mean less than a pound a head would get a few small trees. They grow Smile

It is a bit abrupt though.

UterusUterusGhali · 23/06/2015 21:03

DS's school do this.

I never questioned it really. Seems a nice enough idea. I think I might have raised an eyebrow when my DD left the school.

I do live in a pretty affluent area though.

Aeroflotgirl · 23/06/2015 21:03

Wtaf Shock, very grabby. Yes send him in with 10p. Bit low asking the kids, when they don't earn, just send it directly to the parents.

YouMeddlingKids · 23/06/2015 21:03

I quite like it (provided that there's no minimum donation and children who cant afford it aren't labelled/ left out in any way) - presumably the children have spent 7 years at the school and the idea of giving something back/ leaving a legacy is nice, to me.

flora717 · 23/06/2015 21:04

It sounds a meaningful tradition. If limited to the "usual" families who support the school etc.

LineRunner · 23/06/2015 21:05

Is it a prep school thing would you say then, Ginand? I've not heard of it before.

RemusLupinsBiggestGroupie · 23/06/2015 21:05

If the school has organised it, which appears to be the case here, I think it's pretty outrageous. If PTA, then maybe quite a nice idea, provided people don't feel under pressure to donate more than they wish to/can afford.

littlesupersparks · 23/06/2015 21:06

I expect it's to avoid parents feeling obliged to buy random tut for the teacher!

ajandjjmum · 23/06/2015 21:06

DD's prep school did this 11 years ago. Did feel that some of the fees could have contributed towards whatever it was that they bought!

ScrambledEggAndToast · 23/06/2015 21:07

I wouldn't have a problem with it.

Justonemorecupoftea · 23/06/2015 21:08

Normal at our school but it is organised by parents of Y6 leavers. Our tiny school has benches, playground equipment, trees, games, ornaments and fun visitors all thanks to our leavers. When my oldest left we had a bit left over so bought 50 tennis balls and the leavers wrote their names on them, very popular with the littlies!

BalconyBill · 23/06/2015 21:08

I'm amazed that anyone is surprised by this! I thought every school did the 'leaving present' thing! Certainly, all of the schools that my DCs have been in have. Usually organised by the PTA though.

CakeLady1 · 23/06/2015 21:09

If it were a fundraising event to raise the money for an item the children decided on, then yes, it could be quite sweet and meaningful. But for them to be asking for handouts is quite rude.

StuntBottom · 23/06/2015 21:09

My DCs school does this but it's always organised by Year 6 parents. There's no amount suggested, you give whatever you want or you don't give anything if that's your choice. Names of donors are not passed on so the school have no knowledge of who gave and who didn't. I like it. It's nice to think we've contributed to something future pupils can enjoy and clubbing together means we can give something significant.

LaurieFairyCake · 23/06/2015 21:10

I think it's way better than a load of tat - seems a really meaningful thing to buy

Wouldn't it be lovely for the kids when they grow up to go back and see their tree matured

wooldonor · 23/06/2015 21:10

Is it a state school?

The wording is rude, I don't think a state school should be asking parents for such a direct contribution. If it's a private school then I'd be less surprised but would be happy to ignore if I didn't want to contribute

NobodyLivesHere · 23/06/2015 21:11

We do this. And in return the children also get a gift to take with them to secondary school like a dictionary. I don't see the problem

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