To think this request from the school is BIZARRE?

[GammonAndEgg]

Sent home today with my Year 6 DS:

Traditionally at the end of each academic year the children in year six have a collection to buy the school a gift. Each child can bring in money which is combined as a year group to buy a gift to present to the school at the leavers' assembly as a lasting memory of their time here. In the past children have bought trees, a bench and ornamental features. Donations to the class teachers by Monday.

That would piss me right off.

I don't have a problem with "giving back".

You're going to be paying for something. By Monday. In fact they have stolen the joy in giving that comes from spontaneity, from collectively deciding to do something, and stolen all the meaning from it.

And it probably comes on top of some misguidedclass rep organising a whip round to buy the teacher a £300 Next voucher.

God - how miserable and mean spirited people on here are!

I agree that that particular message wasn't worded very well, but as someone else has pointed out, your children have enjoyed things contributed by other leavers, why shouldn't they contribute for younger children to enjoy?

It is done at the school I work in, but always organised by parents of leavers not the school. As for a £300 Next voucher....! I wish!!

Should also add that the idea originated when parents asked the school what they would like as a farewell gift from the leavers; benches, trees, an outdoor clock etc have all been presented to the school so far and much appreciated.

I think it is quite a good idea - so long as it is made absolutely clear that no teachers should be given gifts - I think end of year teacher gifts are totally OTT and it is unprofessional of teachers to accept them.

(And I volunteer in a charity shop which is inundated with 'Best Teacher Mugs' etc etc at the end of term - which we can never sell. )

Pastaeater - the Next voucher thing Actually Happened. That seemed devoid of joy too.

What you say in your last post = lovely. The school issuing such a request = takes the pleasure of giving from those expected to give. Bit like a baby shower with and entry fee.

Pasta, I think it is more of a gut reaction to the note from the school. A note that was so badly worded it should never have gone out in that state.

Most of us don't have any problem giving something back when appropriate, but a letter that could be construed as saying "send in money by Monday so that we can buy ourselves a present" is likely to cause annoyance.

Calling it "tradition" piles on further pressure (some might say blackmail) as it implies that only an old stick-in-the-mud won't contribute and their child will be one of the few who brings nothing in.

What about people struggling to scrape together enough to feed their families on a regular basis. Been there, and even a couple of quid was a lot of money. Life was shitty then, and a note like that could well have tipped me over the edge.

"God - how miserable and mean spirited people on here are!"

Think you're missing the point of most of the posts entirely! I think most people would be fine with giving something to the school - collecting money, choosing something appropriate/asking the school whether anything in particular would be appreciated. Showing their appreciation in a meaningful way.

That isn't what's happening here. The school is just asking for cash.

Ok - I take on board the points raised above.

I guess, it sometimes feel on here that people automatically assume that schools are trying to be massively authoritarian, grabby, unreasonable and controlling. I have to say that the staff at the school I work in really do try to see the parents point of view and do as much as they can to help the families who come to the school. Seems a bit sad that people can be so automatically "anti".

Blooming cheek! I would prefer to invest in the school they are going to. not the one they are leaving!!
Our school give the Y6 leavers a memory book built up over their 7 years at teh school.

I work in local schools, and one of them does this. It's a state school, but a faith school.

They do it every year, and it's labelled, so the leaving children will have enjoyed gifts from previous year 6's and now it's their turn to leave a legacy.

also in this school there are often large families, and although the Yr 6's are moving on, the siblings get to enjoy their big brother/sister's 'gift' and the parents see it being used and enjoyed too.

I think it's quite a nice thing, and not compulsory to pay towards. But nice for your child to think there's always a bit of them left behind after they leave, esp if they're going to miss their primary school.

"I guess, it sometimes feel on here that people automatically assume that schools are trying to be massively authoritarian, grabby, unreasonable and controlling. I have to say that the staff at the school I work in really do try to see the parents point of view and do as much as they can to help the families who come to the school. Seems a bit sad that people can be so automatically "anti"."

There's nothing "automatic" about it. This particular school is being authoritarian, grabby, unreasonable and controlling. People are commenting on that, not on schools in general. I'm sure the staff at your school do try and see parents' points of view, but this particular school isn't, at least on this occasion. Any teacher writing that request who can't see how it is likely to grate is displaying a distinct lack of awareness and empathy.

Ragwort, I don't know about it being unprofessional if I accept a gift from one of my pupils. It would certainly be rude and hurtful if I didn't. How awful would it be if a child came up to me with their gift and I refused it? Like every teacher I know, I do not need a gift nor expect one. I tell each class this every year. I'm delighted with a card or picture but don't even expect that because the joy is in the teaching and seeing the children grow and develop. Some children want to bring a gift and I will only ever express pleasure when they give it to me.

our school invites leavers to donate a book/books to the school library, they put a label inside each one saying the name and leaving date of the donor. I think that's a nice idea but would also donate as suggested in the OP. I assume benches etc also get labeled with the year group who 'bought' it?

Well, the short notice is a problem. Even if it's a good idea. The leavers will have left before they have bought the gift/gathered the money. If it's such a long tradition then surely they could have done the letters weeks ago and the children would have been more involved. So in the context a potentially good/okay idea does sound 'grabby' to me.

littlemiss, I like your poem. Better than any efforts from me.

We had this at our school, we bought a bench for ds's year.

Flowery - I mean that I often see people on here making very negative comments about schools; I wasn't talking about this school in particular.

ds school does this but they don't ask for money. year 6 fundraise throughout the year to get money to buy the school a present. last year was a buddy bench.

Yeah, I second the suggestion to send him in with 20p. Cheeky feckers!!!