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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think men have no right to stand outside abortion clinics and do this.

787 replies

QuestioningStuff · 22/06/2015 09:36

Posted before about my pregnancy. I am having a termination today. This is not a decision I've made lightly.

I've arrived at the clinic and there is a middle aged man and his young teen son standing outside with camp chairs and flasks. Putting up awful pictures and signs. Trying to hand out leaflets.

I think women who do this are also scum but how on earth could a man think he has any right to do this? Turn up at a place where women are at their most scared and vulnerable and try to bully them?

It's really really upset me. I hate them so much right now.

I want to go and tell them exactly what I think of them but don't think that would be helpful at this time.

OP posts:
limitedperiodonly · 22/06/2015 23:27

^Do we want the right to a mass protest at a family funeral ? Outside a church / synagogue / mosque, so worshippers have to walk through them ?
Should someone longterm unemployed have to pass through a crowd with placards saying "benefit scroungers" outside their house ?^

Have you heard of the 12th July in Belfast?

Or less inflammatory but no less offensive, people being filmed for news footage about unemployment going into a JobscentrePlus?

Or large people being filmed behind from the arse down to illustrate yet another piece about ObesCity UK.

It can all be done and I think, on balance, that it should be allowed. Though none of it is fun.

BTW people on MN love that last one about wobbly people. There is no shame that can't be heaped on fat bastards who drain the NHS. Unless they're also smokers.

Frankly, if I caught someone filming my arse I'd reverse into him and squash him to death.

Denimwithdenim00 · 22/06/2015 23:45

All the best op. No explanations needed to us my love. Flowers

granny I brought my lads ( and my girls) up to firstly wear condoms so hopefully unwanted pregnancies didn't occur. They are responsible. However if it did occur I know my lads main concern would be to support the choice of the mother and not in any way to
Pressure or upset her. Comfort and support.

That's a man.

MarieofRomania · 23/06/2015 00:38

I've yet to meet or hear of a person who said 'I was undecided about abortion until I saw some people harassing a woman outside a clinic.
Mitzy
Last year I met 2 women with babies in buggies who stand outside an abortion clinic offering leaflets to women going in.
I asked them why they do that.
They said that they both had made appointments for abortions they didn't want but felt under enormous circumstantial pressure to go ahead. One of them, thinking that the Marie Stopes clinic she attended was offering "pregnancy advice and help" begged them for support for a period until she could get on her feet. Of course they informed her that the only help they could give her was an abortion. In tears she booked her abortion for later in the week and went home.
On the day "Jane" arrived she met a woman handing out leaflets to those going in which offered practical help. She took the leaflet, went in, sat down in the waiting room and read it.
Then she went back out and asked the leaflet woman if she was serious about offering help. When she confirmed that she was, "Jane" cancelled her abortion.
She was supported by the group this woman works with throughout her pregnancy and had a daughter who she named after the woman who helped her.
The other young woman's story is broadly similar and they became friends through their association with the group who helped them.
They both said that this is the reason they stand outside the clinic. Because they know that there are many other women like them for whom abortion is not a matter of choice.
It's hard to argue with a story like that, especially when there's a gurgling, doe eyed little baby girl in a buggy looking up at you.

Denimwithdenim00 · 23/06/2015 00:43

Marie sorry that's utter bollocks from the women.

I have worked as a nurse in many clinics and no clinic pushes women to abort or not. They listen and offer support.

Think they were lying to you or you are slightly confused or a mix of both.

It's absolutely not what happens in any way.

MarieofRomania · 23/06/2015 00:45

Oh, and the reason I was bold enough to approach "Jane" and ask her what she was doing there was because an older man was standing outside the clinic shouting at her. He got right up in her face and yelled at her that she was being judgemental and to "Stop harassing women"
Which I thought was a bit ironic really.

MarieofRomania · 23/06/2015 00:49

Denim
Sorry if I wasn't clear.
Neither woman said that the clinic had "pushed them to abort."
I'm sure they did listen and tried to be kind, but listening doesn't pay the rent or help with childcare.
The only support they were able to offer was an abortion.

Denimwithdenim00 · 23/06/2015 00:50

To add your phrase because they know that there are many other women like them for whom abortion is not a matter of choice ??

palpably makes no sense does it as they did exercise choice. Hmm

I think the gurgling doe eyed little baby in a buggy looking up at you gives us all a pretty good picture of your views.

Spectacularly crass to the op though but guessing that's not the point of your post is it?

Placard ready is it? On you go.

AngryBeaver · 23/06/2015 00:50

Hateful people, op. With very small minds, and very big ego's.
The same type who hold up anti gay/racist placards. Makes them feel better about their own sad little lives. Bit like a hobby for the low of intellect, I suppose.
Pity them, darling.
Thinking of you. Be strong. Home soon xx WineThanks

Denimwithdenim00 · 23/06/2015 00:52

Ok

BertrandRussell · 23/06/2015 00:52

"One of them, thinking that the Marie Stopes clinic she attended was offering "pregnancy advice and help" begged them for support for a period until she could get on her feet. Of course they informed her that the only help they could give her was an abortion”

At a risk of further deletions- that is bollocks.

MarieofRomania · 23/06/2015 00:54

Denim:
*To add your phrase because they know that there are many other women like them for whom abortion is not a matter of choice ??

palpably makes no sense does it as they did exercise choice*

The point both of these women were making to me was that the abortion clinic did not give them a choice.

BertrandRussell · 23/06/2015 00:55

I'm sure they did listen and tried to be kind, but listening doesn't pay the rent or help with childcare"

So how long does SPUC pay a woman's' rent for? How many years full time childcare will they pay for?

Koalafications · 23/06/2015 00:57

Maria that little tale is the most bollocks I've heard in quite a while.

MarieofRomania · 23/06/2015 00:57

Bertrand
At a risk of further deletions- that is bollocks.
I don't think so. Pretty sure Marie Stopes don't offer housing or childcare help to women in crisis pregnancies.

Denimwithdenim00 · 23/06/2015 00:58

An abortion clinic???

So now we have it.

No it's a contraceptive advice and support service that offers abortions to adult women who request the proceedure.

They had no choice? Where are you posting from op? Please share.

MarieofRomania · 23/06/2015 01:01

Bertrand
So how long does SPUC pay a woman's' rent for? How many years full time childcare will they pay for?
"SPUC"??
No idea.
I'm just saying that these two women said that they were given the help they needed to get on their feet by the folk outside the clinic handing out leaflets.
That was more than Marie stopes were able to offer and for these women that meant "choice".
I'm not going to argue with that.

Denimwithdenim00 · 23/06/2015 01:02

I can't risk any more deletions on mumsnet as on my final warning but I wanted to share with you all that today my best friend told me the biggest load of bollocks I have ever heard.

That random people pay your rent and childcare costs. Yes really!

Random people off the streets.

MarieofRomania · 23/06/2015 01:02

Denim
I'm posting from London.

MarieofRomania · 23/06/2015 01:05

Denim
*That random people pay your rent and childcare costs. Yes really!

Random people off the streets.*
I know. I think they were very surprised too.

BertrandRussell · 23/06/2015 01:07

"I'm just saying that these two women said that they were given the help they needed to get on their feet by the folk outside the clinic handing out leaflets."
Who were they? Go and find your copy of the leaflet. I'm happy to wait.....

MarieofRomania · 23/06/2015 01:10

Bertrand
i don't have one.
If I see them again i'll ask them.
I found them completely believable and saw no reason to doubt their stories though.

Denimwithdenim00 · 23/06/2015 01:12

Okay! You should publish details marie every little helps. Hmm

Thoughts with the op tonight though and in the real difficult world called reality.

Denimwithdenim00 · 23/06/2015 01:15

Oh dear oh dear.

Yawn and bed I think.

MarieofRomania · 23/06/2015 01:18

Denim
What sort of details are you looking for?
This was just a story of an encounter I had after my curiosity was piqued by seeing a man shouting at a young woman with a baby in a buggy.
I genuinely thought it was interesting and quite challenging (particularly in terms of the question of choice)
Not sure what is so controversial or peculiar about that tbh.

lastuseraccount123 · 23/06/2015 02:46

that story is weird.