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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think that people need to read the thread before they comment

166 replies

Mehitabel6 · 21/06/2015 22:40

I have been on a lot of threads recently where it is quite clear that people have read OP, but nothing else, not even the last post, before they comment.
Has it not occurred to them that things have moved on in 3 days?
It is especially annoying when OP has already apologised and admitted they were wrong- and yet they still get attacked.
It looks very silly when everyone has worked out it was a spoof, been saying so for the last 100 posts and someone pops up and answers it seriously!

I admit to not always reading every post, but I do get a good flavour and read the last page before commenting. If it is very long and has been rumbling in for days then I don't bother reading or commenting.

AIBU is the most usual place that this happens. Probably people are keen to make their point, but not keen to hear other views.

OP posts:

Sparklingbrook · 22/06/2015 20:29

Exactly Norah. Making an arse of themselves anonymously is where it's at for some.

NorahDentressangle · 22/06/2015 20:35

Exactly Sparkling

JulyKit · 22/06/2015 20:39

I haven't R much of this FT, but.... snippy bitch plop - love it!

Sparklingbrook · 22/06/2015 20:40

Blimey Honey that thread takes me back to school days in exams. The teacher would say 'read the question and answer the question that has been asked not what you think has been asked'. Or something.

ReluctantCamper · 22/06/2015 20:46

One of the worst examples I saw was OP asking if it was U to give her kids only fruit for breakfast. As the thread progressed it became clear she had serious problems, didn't like herself at all and probably needed to get to her GP stat. And yet there were still twats turning up to say 'YABU bitch, how dare you give your kids a substandard breakfast'.

So your opinion about fucking breakfast is so important you'd jump on a thread without reading it and insult a plainly very fragile woman. Nice.

bialystockandbloom · 22/06/2015 20:54

YANBU OP. Or perhaps YABU. I haven't been arsed to RTFT as I simply have more important things to do so don't actually know, but am bestowing MY OPINION anyway. HTH.

Whiskwarrior · 22/06/2015 20:57

And that proves the OP's point nicely.

Well done.

TheseSoles · 22/06/2015 20:59

YANBU

I once posted about my pet being ill. By page 2 of the thread, I'd informed everyone that sadly pet was dead. I then got a 'don't worry sure they'll survive!' response.

It may well have been a genuine mistake, but I pulled them up on and their comment was deleted but no apology to me.

I have seen the same thing happen on worse more sensitive threads. People that can't be arsed to RTFT need to have a good hard look at themselves. It's not just looking like an arse sometimes, it's being really fucking insensitive because your time is more important than checking how events have changed.

bialystockandbloom · 22/06/2015 21:03

whisk was that to me? Er...

Whiskwarrior · 22/06/2015 21:14

Sorry, bialy, we're you being sarcastic?

I completely read you as being serious

bialystockandbloom · 22/06/2015 21:17

Yes whisk I was - but no worries. I'm clearly too convincing as an arse

bialystockandbloom · 22/06/2015 21:19

Re-reading that, "too convincing as an arse" sounds rather dubious. Doesn't it. It's not actually my fancy dress costume of choice, you understand.

Sparklingbrook · 22/06/2015 21:21

Ooh stealth arse bialy I like your style

Whiskwarrior · 22/06/2015 21:31

Can we have a 'stealth arse' icon please, HP?

I think TooConvincingAsAnArse would make a great username actually

bialystockandbloom · 22/06/2015 21:37

Or the title of a novel.

(subtitled) The Arse that sneaks up unawares.

ilovesooty · 22/06/2015 21:50

It seems basic good manners to at least check whether the thread has moved on before you post.

Original poster

Mehitabel6 · 22/06/2015 22:30

It is nothing to do with being worthy or boring- it is just the fact that there is no point in putting in some random comment that refers to something that is long past.
Why bother?
Why would anyone want to read it when it is clear that the person hasn't read any of the other posts?
Why call someone a bitch when they apologised and admitted they were wrong at least twice?
Why make it clear that you don't know it is a reverse thread when everyone else has grasped that and OP has admitted it?
Why comment on OP when she has updates where she has drip fed and it has changed everything and everyone else is giving advice based on later information?
Why kick in with an attack when everyone has worked out that there are mental health problems and the person needs support?
You don't have to read every post to pick up on the things but you do need to read a few, especially the last few.

OP posts:

feezap · 22/06/2015 23:47

Mehitabel, this thread has really cheered me up, thank you

I was idiot enough to post in AIBU recently (I think you were on it) and worded my OP very poorly. I had totally taken something the wrong way and came back to the thread to say so. Funnily enough, a lot of the nastiness I got was from people taking what I had said totally wrongly, and not in the way it was meant. Anyhow, I had to step away from it for a few days as there were so many nasty comments from people who had not RTWT or even just my updates.

As you say, there's no point wading in on a discussion you have only been party to a snippet of from several days ago.

It is also unthinking and could really upset someone, even if done unwittingly, like in some pp's examples.

So I think YANBU, but I doubt people will ever change their ways.

Original poster

Mehitabel6 · 23/06/2015 07:35

I think that people can be quite naive in starting a post in AIBU and it can go off in completely unimagined directions. MNHQ won't delete it unless you can give a very good reason.
I hesitated about even starting this, and am pleased to have come off quite well, so far, with only a few 'are you for real' and 'why are you thread police' comments. I know that other people get fed up because RTFT comments are common.
It was prompted by me writing on a thread at post 147 ( so not particularly long) 'it is good for proving that no one reads the thread' - the next person posting didn't even read that - they answered the OP quite seriously. It was a spoof thread in response to another thread. If they had read other posts they would have worked that out!
I wonder if these people come back and read any more. I get the impression they see a thread title - post their 'pearls of wisdom' and move in never to return.
I imagine them at a party going around groups, hearing a snippet of conversation and interrupting with their view before passing on to the next group and doing the same. It would make them seem bonkers!
Do they ever return to the thread and realise that their comment was no longer relevant? I doubt they ever read any subsequent posts if the didn't bother with earlier ones.

OP posts:

BIWI · 23/06/2015 07:48

Still, Mehitabel6, it's provided more information to populate the shitlist with

Cherryblossomsinspring · 23/06/2015 07:49

I didn't read the whole thread and am just replying to the OP. Sometimes that is best because mums net threads take on a life of themselves and go miles away from the OP. So when I write on the end of the thread, although I usually check the first and last page to get some idea whether my response is relevant, in these cases I am writing to the OP, not all the angry bandwagon people who have taken over a thread to satisfy some unknown frustrations in their lives.

BIWI · 23/06/2015 07:51

And if nothing else proves that the OP was NBU, it's your post ...

Original poster

Mehitabel6 · 23/06/2015 08:11

I agree that sometimes you need to get back to OP but you at least need to know that it has been derailed.

OP posts:

IKnowIAmButWhatAreYou · 23/06/2015 08:13

YANBU OP

I love all the high pitched cries of "you can't tell me what to do, you ain't the fred police" from the main offenders!!

It's just a ticket to my "ignore" list TBH, a quick way to find out who the lazy, often stroppy, posters are that I don't want to read in the future!!

Sparklingbrook · 23/06/2015 08:31

IKnow I imagined "you can't tell me what to do, you ain't the fred police" as said in the voice of Russell Brand.

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