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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that people need to read the thread before they comment

166 replies

Mehitabel6 · 21/06/2015 22:40

I have been on a lot of threads recently where it is quite clear that people have read OP, but nothing else, not even the last post, before they comment.
Has it not occurred to them that things have moved on in 3 days?
It is especially annoying when OP has already apologised and admitted they were wrong- and yet they still get attacked.
It looks very silly when everyone has worked out it was a spoof, been saying so for the last 100 posts and someone pops up and answers it seriously!

I admit to not always reading every post, but I do get a good flavour and read the last page before commenting. If it is very long and has been rumbling in for days then I don't bother reading or commenting.

AIBU is the most usual place that this happens. Probably people are keen to make their point, but not keen to hear other views.

OP posts:
Original poster
Mehitabel6 · 22/06/2015 07:30

I did hesitate before starting it meditrina - AIBU is not the place for the faint hearted to start anything!

OP posts:
LikeIcan · 22/06/2015 07:30

I always read the last few replies on a long thread, but I must confess I never RTFT once it's gone past 1 page - it's not even a time issue, I just can't be bothered.
But op; I do understand where you're coming from, it's just unlikely to change as you can't control how people use MN, & I doubt HQ will ever put, 'you must RTFT before posting' in their talk guidelines.
Or maybe they will?

Sparklingbrook · 22/06/2015 07:32

MNHQ shouldn't have to put stuff that's common sense in the guidelines. Grin

MrsMook · 22/06/2015 07:34

I tend to go for the read first and last page approach. Depending on the way the thread has developed, that may be sufficient, or I may read back a few pages to where the direction of the discussion changed.

Where a thread has changed in direction / tone, a post that obviously originates solely from a reading of the Op at best looks stupid and self important, and is at worst grossly insensitive.

Sparklingbrook · 22/06/2015 07:38

It's funny when a zombie thread gets inexplicably bumped by a couple of posts. Then the zombie warning disappears, after that lots of posts tearing into the OP who started the thread about 7 years ago. Grin

PausingFlatly · 22/06/2015 07:39

It always puzzles me. Who do the non-readers think is going to read their comment?

DrankSangriaInThePark · 22/06/2015 07:43

Of course people should read the whole thread before commenting There are lots of things that MNers should do before commenting. But realistically, it's not going to happen, and why should it?

Everyone uses MN as they see fit, I have a rule whereby I no longer open any thread that is longer than a couple of hundred posts when I spot it because it's usually creative writing or being bumped by the guillotine knitters because I know I won't RTFT and/or what I might have to say will already have been said by plenty of other people.

But so what if poster600 is saying the same words as poster4? There's nothing new under the sun after all, and who are we to say "sorry, that was said already on page 2"

As to the sensitive thread mentioned above, I guess the posters who didn't RTFT already feel bad enough about what they unwittingly said without having it brought up on other threads.

Original poster
Mehitabel6 · 22/06/2015 07:50

I don't read the whole thread myself if it is very long but I find out where it has gone before I decide whether my contribution would be relevant.
I can see why OP leaves. Very often there are calls of 'where has OP gone?' And I suspect they gave up long before that point!

OP posts:
DrankSangriaInThePark · 22/06/2015 07:55

Well, that's another thing Mehitabel that people shouldn't do- the constant "any news OP?" That's what I mean by guillotine knitters, the

EmpressKnowsWhereHerTowelIs · 22/06/2015 07:55

It might be inappropriate to say "sorry, that was said already on page 2" but there are times when "That's irrelevant, you twit, RTFT" is fine.

PausingFlatly · 22/06/2015 07:56

"who are we to say "sorry, that was said already on page 2""

Er, we're people who have RTFT?

People who think MN is for making people's lives easier, and are happy to bat some of the ill-judged balls back across the net rather than leave the poor OP to be bombarded by them?

Especially an OP who only posted in the first place because they could do with some support, not with feeling besieged or ignored?

RachelWatts · 22/06/2015 07:59

I hate all the "Where has the OP gone?" posts, and even worse, the smug "I notce the OP hasn't been back", because some of the time, the OP has been active on the thread and posted directly above the PP noting their apparent absence, only they haven't realised the thread has moved on while they've been reading and they needed to refresh.

PausingFlatly · 22/06/2015 08:02

Perfect example that's just made it to classics:AIBU to think this is a perfectly good sized lunch?

But of course, too long for non-threadreaders. So they won't get to read and enjoy.Grin

Seffina · 22/06/2015 08:03

I find it can be worse on AIBU because people are less likely to post anything vaguely helpful and would rather just say "YABU you're a twat".

Stratter5 · 22/06/2015 08:07

Use MN however you like. Just don't be an arse.

That should be in caps bold at the to of every page.

Pagwatch · 22/06/2015 08:07

I do always wonder about the posters who are too busy to read the whole thread but just know they have to send out their opinion as a gift to the world. Who are they? What are they doing that makes them so busy yet their advice so invaluable?

I imagine they are mother Theresa or Alan Sugar or Boutros Boutros Gahli.
Probably.

Original poster
Mehitabel6 · 22/06/2015 08:10

And why do they think we want to read it when clearly they haven't read anyone else?

OP posts:
Original poster
Mehitabel6 · 22/06/2015 08:12

Thanks for the link- I missed that one and it looks fun- typical MN!

OP posts:
Stratter5 · 22/06/2015 08:12

Inflated sense of self importance?

LuisSuarezTeeth · 22/06/2015 08:22

I spend a lot more time reading than posting. I think it's vital to RTFT.

Otherwise I would have missed the gem that is "snippy bitch plop"

*Sparkling" thank you! Grin

Sparklingbrook · 22/06/2015 08:28

I didn't invent snippy bitch plop, I read it on thread so can't claim as my own. V descriptive though.

My MNetting lately-

Read thread
Raise eyebrows
Think 'chinny reckon'
Hide thread

AndyWarholsOrange · 22/06/2015 08:28

Totally agree. Long threads are often long because they've evolved and developed since the OP. Throwing in your pearls of wisdom on the basis of reading the first post is just arrogant.
The worst case I saw was in relationships where the thread started out as an average couple going through a rocky patch type thing. By post 600, it was apparent that the OP was suffering appalling emotional abuse. Then someone comes along and tells her that it's common for marriages to go through a rough patch when there are young kids and maybe her DH feels a bit neglected so she needs to surprise him by getting a babysitter and booking a nice restaurant. Oh, and buy some sexy underwear Hmm

purdiepie · 22/06/2015 08:30

I read the whole thread, then pray for humility, then read the thread again, then read The Guardian, then post in as Left-wing and tolerant a manner as I can muster.

Pagwatch · 22/06/2015 08:39

I read the thread
Boggle at what wankers some people are
Move on to next thread
Roll my eyes at pathetic trolling
Read the next thread
Boggle at what wankers some people are
Read the next thread
Laugh a bit.
Go out.

Original poster
Mehitabel6 · 22/06/2015 08:51

Probably it is evened out by the hundreds who read threads but never post anything.

OP posts: