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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To overthink the meaning of this..?

88 replies

Littlecat11 · 20/06/2015 11:22

If your OH says to you:

"You're the most beautiful girl in the world to me"

Would you take this to mean:
A) you're not the most beautiful girl in the world, so don't get ideas above your station.
Or
B) you're the most beautiful girl in the world.

Aibu? How does your OH tell you you're beautiful? X

OP posts:

Thurlow · 20/06/2015 18:17

Well, DP's great and all but he is not better looking than Richard Armitage, I can tell you that much.

There's more important things in the world than looks, though.

OP, do you think your DP is the handsomest man in the world?

DirtyBlonde · 20/06/2015 18:21

It means he finds you beautiful beyond any other woman's mere prettiness.

How do you rate his judgement generally?

NRomanoff · 20/06/2015 18:23

Before dh my type was 6ft plus men who played rugby and had a lot of muscle. Dh isn't interested in the gym and is 5ft 7in. I know he felt I wouldn't be interested in h as he knew the type of men I went out with before. But honestly, I love him and genuinely think he is sexier than any of me exs.

When you love someone it's not just their looks, who they are always affects how you see them. When I look at dh I don't think 'wish he was taller' or 'he would be better if he started lifting weights'. I just see him and I love him.

Gruntfuttock · 20/06/2015 18:28

Isn't it extremely shallow if their looks are the most important thing about a person with whom you're in a relationship? I didn't marry my husband for his looks, nor did he marry me for mine. Therefore, of course there are better-looking people than either of us. Who cares? What does it matter? Why are looks so important to you? Do you value other things?

Yarp · 20/06/2015 18:31

Thurlow

AllPizzasGreatAndSmall · 20/06/2015 18:45

Whilst not looking like the back end of a bus, I think he has cottoned on that I'm not a supermodel.

HappenstanceMarmite · 20/06/2015 19:11

This thread is great. I'm going to come back to it when I have a wobble like the OP. Love some of the explanations given.

CrabbyTheCrabster · 20/06/2015 19:21

Good god in fucking heaven. Seriously?

ragged · 20/06/2015 19:31

If DH ever said that to me, I'd be thinking he was seriously demented.

He's saying that he could find fault with anyone else but not OP. Honestly, what do YOU say to make him feel special?

CalleighDoodle · 20/06/2015 19:39

This made me laugh. To me does make it an entirely different thing. It is a clumsy way to say you are the most attravtive person he knows. He loves you, so he finds you beautiful....

An ex of mine once said 'you were the most beautiful woman in the room (the previous night's do), in fact youre the most beautiful woman in most rooms.' That is a smooth compliament.

Try saying the same back? How does he take it?

DoJo · 20/06/2015 22:53

Listen to this song OP - I think that this is what your OP is trying to express.

sprackenzyboiled · 20/06/2015 23:24

Basically, he's saying you're fat and a bit plug faced, but you knew that.

...just kidding, learn to take a compliment ffs!

whattheseithakasmean · 20/06/2015 23:36

I am more symathetic OP. I am no looker (to put it mildly) - tiny, red hair, thin. I am definately a specialist taste, but I feel confident I am with a man who thinks my wee scrawny body is the ideal.

Your partner does not make you feel like that - you suspect his 'perfect woman' does not look like you - that suggests that by action or word, he is not making you feel beautiful enough, and you are entitled to question that.

I know I am not to most mens taste but I am to my DHs exact taste. I wouldn't like to feel differently.

arethereanyleftatall · 20/06/2015 23:39

As an over 25, I can look in the mirror and objectively know what I look like.
Therefore if dh said to me yatmbwitw it would be utter nonsense and a pointless thing to say.
If he added 'to me' it would be nicer.
Before I was 25 though, I was too insecure and would worry about whether x was prettier than me.
If you're young op, then yanbu.
If you're older, I would say to still be thinking like this is bonkers shallow.

Glitoris · 20/06/2015 23:43

He has told you that you are the most beautiful girl in the world to him....that means he thinks you are more beautiful than any other female in the world (including porn stars,if that's your worry),that you,and you alone,are his exact 'type' now.

Stop overthinking it.It was a compliment,however clumsily he worded it.

Stokes · 20/06/2015 23:53

Jeez. Looks must be the last in a very long list of reasons DH and I love each other. They just don't matter in the long run, attraction is based on so much more than that.

AdeleDazeem · 21/06/2015 00:00

Okay - in the voice of Monica Gellar - first I need an OH who calls me any kind of beautiful then I can overthink the sentiment and stuck any niceness out of it.

AyeAmarok · 21/06/2015 00:09

CalleighDoodle I'm afraid your ex stole a line from Chandler Bing in Friends.

Charley50 · 21/06/2015 00:27

AyeAmorok - I used to go out with a guy I thought had loads of really funny one liners, then one day I realised they were all quotes from some comedy show that I didn't watch. I was ver disappointed.

Morloth · 21/06/2015 00:39

Bloody hell it must be exhausting thinking about this stuff so much.

There are plenty of men who I think are better looking/more physically attractive than my DH.

Doesn't mean I would trade him for any of them, what he looks like is pretty far down the list when it comes to how I feel about him.

The same applies in reverse. We both scrub up pretty good. But would be delusional to think no one else was more beautiful.

CactusAnnie · 21/06/2015 01:05

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MustShowDH · 21/06/2015 03:29

My DH says he loves me, but doesn't fancy me because of my weight!

Overthink that....

JessieMcJessie · 21/06/2015 03:48

OP, are you a highly paid Top Model, beauty queen or film star? If not, then surely you must realise that you, like 99% of women in the world are nowhere near being objectively the most beautiful? Therefore if your DP said that you were (or if my DH said that I was) I would find it bollocks and not a compliment. However by adding the "to me" he is saying that he loves YOU so much that you are more attractive to him than all the objectively beautiful women out there.

As someone said above, it is a bit of a pedant's compliment, but I love pedants!

You are massively over thinking the semantics of what he said. However you clearly do have insecurity issues that you need to address and there is of course always a possibility that he was lying, but it's not his turn of phrase that will give this away.

JessieMcJessie · 21/06/2015 03:50

Also agree with Morloth and Cactus Annie

whattheseithakasmean · 21/06/2015 10:10

But surely it is about how your OH makes you feel - plainly, for whatever reason, the OP's OH makes her feel a bit insecure about her looks. My DH doesn't especially complement me, but I never doubt he thinks i look fantastic because of how he is with me, every day.

I do think the OP's OH may be chipping away at her self esteem & subtly undermining her in ways it may not be easy to explain, hence her apparent 'overthinking' of what, on the face of it, is a nice complement.

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