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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To overthink the meaning of this..?

88 replies

Littlecat11 · 20/06/2015 11:22

If your OH says to you:

"You're the most beautiful girl in the world to me"

Would you take this to mean:
A) you're not the most beautiful girl in the world, so don't get ideas above your station.
Or
B) you're the most beautiful girl in the world.

Aibu? How does your OH tell you you're beautiful? X

OP posts:
BaronessBomburst · 20/06/2015 15:33

You are massively overthinking this.
Putting 'to me' on the end makes it personal and genuine.

ScorpioMermaid · 20/06/2015 15:39

Everyone perceives beauty in a different way. To him, you are the most beautiful girl in the world. To my DH, I am... so he says Grin I dont think it means any more than what it says, you don't need to read in to it Grin

molyholy · 20/06/2015 15:43

Bloody hell OP. Word to the wise. If this is the biggest quandry you have to ruminate over, you could be doing something more productive with your time Grin

Yarp · 20/06/2015 15:44

It's obvious, I assume, that you aren't the most beautiful girl in the world, objectively speaking, so he's just saying that you are beautiful as far as he's concerned. Which is nice.

And, you seem to be saying that porn actresses are beautiful. Which they aren't. Just prepared to have sex for money. I doubt even he thinks they are 'beautiful'.

LikeASoulWithoutAMind · 20/06/2015 15:47

I'd take it as a compliment unless he's otherwise a bit of a tosser. or you are Samantha Brick

Gruntfuttock · 20/06/2015 15:55

OP, exactly how beautiful do you think you are?
Do you seriously think that the only appropriate thing your OH could say is "You're the most beautiful girl in the world"? and actually feel insulted that he added "to me"?
Just think, maybe, somewhere out there in the world, there may actually be someone even more beautiful than you! Or is that impossible?

Original poster
Littlecat11 · 20/06/2015 16:28

Just reading this thread back has made me think I sound really arrogant!! Not at all! I don't mean I think I'm amazing or anything, quite the opposite. I think this has come about because I know I'm not his -"ideal" his ideal being a redhead (I personally think this is a bit shallow) he mentioned his love for redheads at the start of our relationship. I don't mind as such but when he's like you're the most..... B g I t w to me I just think ah, but if you had a chance with xyz, then that would be it.
I had these crazy ideas about romance and "the one" growing up. I used to think that I'd want to meet someone who not only loves me as a person but my type being a dark eyed brunette as opposed to blue\green eyes redhead
Meh..

OP posts:
Original poster
Littlecat11 · 20/06/2015 16:29

And also do most of you feel comfortable with the fact that your oh knows that there are more beautiful women out there than you. ? Would you not prefer to feel like the most perfect to him?

OP posts:
ThumbWitchesAbroad · 20/06/2015 16:31

Littlecat - you're looking at this arse about face. He prefers redheads, he's said so - and yet he's with you and he thinks YOU are the most beautiful girl in the world to him. So YOU beat any redhead.

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 20/06/2015 16:32

Are you naturally quite insecure, btw?

ShipwreckedAndComatose · 20/06/2015 16:38

When I first read what he said it never occurred to me to interpret it in the way you have in A until I read your op. I read it as being quite a personal Moment he was sharing with you, expressing what you mean to him.

You sound very insecure in your relationship and I think that is a huge shame Sad

Losingmyreligion · 20/06/2015 16:39

DH has come out with some gems over the years. I give you "you're definitely in the top 5%" and (at first time of dtd) "you've got less flesh on your bones than I thought you'd have". Grin

Arsenic · 20/06/2015 16:43

It sounds like a pedant's compliment Smile

Momagain1 · 20/06/2015 16:45

Maybe I am overthinking. But the last two words don't really need to be said do they?

You are underthinking it. He is giving you his opinion of you, emphasizing his statement when he says 'to me' . Others may argue some other is more beautiful, but in his eyes, they are wrong.

PurpleHairAndPearls · 20/06/2015 16:45

Dh once wrote in a card that I was "the most important thing" in his life.

"thing"

NRomanoff · 20/06/2015 16:46

It doesn't matter what colour hair you have, he thinks you are the most beautiful woman in the world. Not y a t m b w I t w except for red heads

condominoes · 20/06/2015 16:46

'Would you not prefer to feel like the most perfect to him?'

This is what he said op

'I used to have these crazy ideas about romance...'

No shit op

Christ on a bike, give a guy a break

NRomanoff · 20/06/2015 16:52

So now you are complaining he didn't say you are perfect?

My dh doesn't think I am perfect, he does say I am perfect for him. But after 16 years we know each others faults.

Honestly op just take a compliment. Of course there are more beautiful women out there, but your oh thinks you are the most beautiful.

NRomanoff · 20/06/2015 16:53

If you wanted someone who classes you as their 'type' why didn't you split when he said his type is a red head?

Momagain1 · 20/06/2015 17:01

And also do most of you feel comfortable with the fact that your oh knows that there are more beautiful women out there than you. ?

I like that my DH is a sensible and well grounded man, and of course we both know there are more beautiful people than either of us.

Would you not prefer to feel like the most perfect to him?

One reason I feel like I am is because he has said that IATHBGITW to him. I dont see how that statement could make me less secure, even though, like you, I am not his 'type' .

The answer to what was his type, when he was a fantasizing young man was a certain visual reference.
The answer to who did he fall in love with is: me, an actual human with qualities that mattered more than that particular visual.

Momagain1 · 20/06/2015 17:03

Purple: the BeeGees sang about wanting to be 'your everything' so, there's that.

WaferInMyCoffee · 20/06/2015 17:05

You are overthinking it. DH never tells me I am beautiful, gorgeous,attractive or anything. I guess I'm not!

I'd take the compliment your OH gives you!

LokiBear · 20/06/2015 17:18

I think he is just personalising his compliment. He is basically saying that there is no one else in the world that he finds more beautiful than you. That is lovely.

CrystalHaze · 20/06/2015 17:31

And also do most of you feel comfortable with the fact that your oh knows that there are more beautiful women out there than you. ? Would you not prefer to feel like the most perfect to him?

Yes, I feel utterly comfortable with it. I'm not bad looking, neither is he, but we're both well aware that there are people in the world - 'real' or celebrities - better looking than either of us. We'd be delusional if we didn't acknowledge that fact.

However, I'd rather wake up with his face on the pillow next to me rather than anyone else's, and vice versa.

Looks don't last, OP. So even if you were 'perfect' right now, you cannot guarantee that you would always look the same, and if that's the benchmark by which you feel secure in a relationship then I'm afraid you're doomed to a lifetime of misery and insecurity,

Yarp · 20/06/2015 17:31

Well, I think my DH knows that I find Jake Gyllenhaal v v sexy, and I know that he's partial to the woman who is Dr Who's sidekick. I even suspect that, objectively speaking, a few of my friends are better looking that me. But it's me he's lucky enough to be married to.