Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Non faith school re-arranging events because of eid

253 replies

reikizen · 19/06/2015 17:30

My daughter's primary school is a large multicultural one, but is not a faith school. They sent a letter tonight saying the year 6 leavers assembly has been rearranged to accommodate children who may be kept off school for eid. This means I can't now go as I have to request my shifts at work well in advance and did so on the information the school originally gave. I am really cross and feel like contacting the school as I can't understand why the personal preferences of a certain group of parents should trump all other considerations. I know of at least 3 other year 6 parents who can't attend the new date, and my daughter will be very upset when I tell her. Would you complain?

OP posts:
BrumBabe · 19/06/2015 18:11

AndNow - will probably get shot down in flames but when DD was in year 6 her school began to allow 2 days off for muslim children at Eid. We live in muslim area and 70ish % of children were of that faith. I didn't have a problem with school doing so but children of other faiths had to attend. My DD said to her teacher the day before Eid that if the others are having days off then everybody should. (You know what children are like - they don't see it as fair) HT heard about what DD had said and made a point of ringing me to say that DD must attend. I was going to send her anyway but did ask what the children who attended would be up to as they obviously could not teach the curriculum when only 30% attending. I was told they would be doing 'fun' things.

DD got home the following day to say they had watched DVD, done crafty things etc. The following day I rang to say she was sick.

Andrewofgg · 19/06/2015 18:12

keeptothewhiteline Yes there is, but it will cost you. My DS went to a well regarded day public school where there was no religious instruction and no prayers. The school met to hear some suitable secular reading - or sometimes from the Bible as a work of literature - and to hear announcements.

MrsTerryPratchett · 19/06/2015 18:13

I guess my problem is that the school saying that one particular religion trumps all other considerations, and could have been avoided with a little forward planning. It's hard to complain without sounding intolerant of others beliefs but I do not have a faith and chose a non faith school in the hopes that it would be inclusive, and make decisions on educational not religious grounds. There aren't any non-faith state schools in the UK, just to be clear. Religious worship of a broadly Christian nature is compulsory in the UK. I wish it were possible to have non-religious education in the UK. It isn't.

Yarp · 19/06/2015 18:13

Brum

How traumatic for your daughter

keeptothewhiteline · 19/06/2015 18:15

Andrew- there are no non faith schools in my area. Where is the one you mention?

babbas · 19/06/2015 18:16

Oh ffs grow up. It's not ask about you and your child. And how ignorant to say that those celebrating eid should still be dragged into school for the assembly so you are appeased. The assembly is not for you its for the kids.

You obviously have an issue with it being the eid festival. You've got a month, try and sorry something out instead of moaning on here.

AChickenCalledKorma · 19/06/2015 18:18

Fundamentally, very few schools schools seem to "get" that parents with jobs often need a lot of notice to change arrangements. And also, a multicultural school should have "got" that it would be a good idea to check when Eid was likely to fall. But the lack of notice seems to be very typical of primary schools IME. So on balance YANBU to be irritated ... but the parents who celebrate Eid are NBU to want their children to take part in their assembly.

For some reason, secondary school seem more capable of understanding that people's lives go on while their children are at school. Or is that just my experience?

redexpat · 19/06/2015 18:24

x post about the shifts, but there is no such thing as a non faith school in England.

lilivonshtupp · 19/06/2015 18:24

As someone who now lives in an almost intensely secular part of the world (we are not even allowed a Christmas tree in the school lobby at Xmas time) I don't think you are unreasonable at all.

I'm sorry that the kids would miss the assembly, but now I've 'seen the light' about not allowing religion to dictate anything at all in schools, I do think that this is a poor decision on the schools part. I would be complaining as you adjusted your work rota in good faith.

As said, where I live it's a very tolerant place, but intolerant about making allowances in secular institutions for particular faiths. At first I was shocked and found it an over-reaction, but as this is a very multicultural place I think it treats everyone fairly.

cardibach · 19/06/2015 18:26

I wouldn't say there was a lack of notice here, AChicken - it's a month away! Poor planning, yes, short notice, not at all.

oneowlgirl · 19/06/2015 18:29

I don't think you are being unreasonable - this isn't about Eid but about bad planning on the part of the school & short notice changes & that's what I would complain about.

I do think, however, that a lot of primary schools (at least in England) seem to think parents can make arrangements / change arrangements with very little notice & have no sympathy whatsoever for working parents who do their best to attend all school functions whilst working outside the home.

oneowlgirl · 19/06/2015 18:31

When you work outside the home & have shift arrangements changed to accommodate school events, 1 month really isn't much notice at all in certain professions (& as the Op has explained in her circumstance).

keepitsimple0 · 19/06/2015 18:34

If I were living in a non Christian country I would not expect the school to accommodate my dc by swapping dates for pre arranged event. In practice it would never happen.

but that's the schools fault, not the parents.

it takes a few glances at the student body to see that this may affect a lot of students. and it's not dc "swapping dates"; it's more analogous to the christmas scenario in non-christian countries that others are mentioning.

Yarp · 19/06/2015 18:34

AChicken

Primary schools are often quite busy teaching children

lilivonshtupp · 19/06/2015 18:34

Oneowlgirl - I'm the same too. My rota is drawn up 6 months in advance and you can 'tweak' it about 3 months beforehand. After that, I'd only be able to change it in a massive emergency without cancelling lots of irate people who had been waiting months.

It's why I'm happy that things tend to be set in stone at schools where I live. I wouldn't be thrilled with what happened here.

FryOneFatManic · 19/06/2015 18:35

cardibach

A month is short notice in some professions, and the OP has explained.

And more industries, professions, etc are using electronic rostering, which is making it harder to change shifts once set.

keeptothewhiteline · 19/06/2015 18:35

*As someone who now lives in an almost intensely secular part of the world"

Where is that?

keepitsimple0 · 19/06/2015 18:36

I'm sorry that the kids would miss the assembly, but now I've 'seen the light' about not allowing religion to dictate anything at all in schools, I do think that this is a poor decision on the schools part. I would be complaining as you adjusted your work rota in good faith.

are you in the US? it's still not entirely secular there. it's not an accident that you get two weeks off at christmas.

meditrina · 19/06/2015 18:36

I think this is about poor planning by the school too.

If the school thinks only 1 month's notice for this event is suitable for their community, then they should announce the date at that point.

It always causes problems when events are rescheduled, and it's usually unnecessary if planning is done to an adequate standard in the first place.

PtolemysNeedle · 19/06/2015 18:36

I don't think you're being unreasonable. Schools generally try to give important dates a long time in advance for the reason that parents may need a lot of time to make suitable arrangements, and they have made a major cock up by planning something for a time that they could reasonably have assumed would be difficult for a lot of children.

I think there chosen the wrong solution to the problem, and they should have continued with the original date planned and accepted that some families would opt out because of Eid. It's definitely worth a complaint.

lilivonshtupp · 19/06/2015 18:37

keepits. Nope, not the US. I don't really want to say where as it's quite identifying.

But it's somewhere where religion did a great deal of damage so there has been a huge backlash against it.

keeptothewhiteline · 19/06/2015 18:38

Scandinavia?

keepitsimple0 · 19/06/2015 18:38

Nope, not the US. I don't really want to say where as it's quite identifying.

ok. But is there are "random" two week break around Dec 25?

keeptothewhiteline · 19/06/2015 18:39

I wouldn't have thought that a christmas tree is very christian anyway.

lilivonshtupp · 19/06/2015 18:40

Yep - Christmas holidays happen, but Easter isn't respected. Everyone just keeps ploughing on at work.

I'm getting confused as to which keep person I'm referring to!!