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To find it hard to be grateful for this gift (car)?

84 replies

bereal7 · 19/06/2015 09:28

Ofcourse I appreciate the gift - it's a huge gift and in different circumstances I would have been screaming with joy.

Basically, I'm in uni and my parents just gave me a car as a birthday gift but I can't help but think "well how am I supposed to afford to run a car?" when I don't even know how I'll pay rent through summer before student finance comes in.

This makes it worse - before I received the gift, I opened a letter from SFE saying I would be receiving the bare minimum AGAIN and I was already upset and stressed because it means I have to accept that I'll be taking money from my parents next year aswell ! And now...on top of money for rent, I'll have to try and run a car.

For full disclosure, they will be paying the insurance for me but I know there's still a lot of costs involved with running a car. I feel bad cos I didn't respond as excited as I usually do with such gifts (I did try!) so think my mum might be a bit dissapointed.

Sorry for the long post - I just had to get it out to people who don't know me or my family !

OP posts:
ragged · 19/06/2015 09:50

Do you regularly need to go places that are difficult or impossible by public transport?

BathtimeFunkster · 19/06/2015 09:51

I don't blame you at all.

What's the point of having all the hassle of car ownership unless you need a car?

Where are you going to park it?

Is there parking at the place you'll be working over the summer?

What if you want to go elsewhere for work?

Seems such a pointless encumbrance.

I got given my first car by my godfather, but he asked me if I wanted it first and I was in my 20s with a full time job.

I would have said no when I was in college.

victoriasplums · 19/06/2015 09:51

This reply has been deleted

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Lilymaid · 19/06/2015 09:56

DS "inherited" a car from his DGM when she had to give up driving. We let him have it because he had been seriously ill and it would be useful and a confidence boost, but we pay for pretty much everything as he is at university. He doesn't use it a lot as he is within walking distance of campus and local bus fares into the city are low.
Nice to have a car but appreciate you find it a mixed blessing.

APlaceOnTheCouch · 19/06/2015 09:58

OP maybe your parents thought having a car would help you to get a job? It definitely opens up more possibilities than having to look for a job you can access by public transport.

bereal7 · 19/06/2015 09:59

I'm sorry for drip feeding but I didn't want the OP to be too long. I really do know I sound ungrateful but im just stressed with miney atm.

  1. I have a part time job - I've been working all year but im only contracted 8 hours a week. I will be doing a lot of overtime now in summer but it will not be enough.

2. I didn't ask for anything for my birthday - wasn't expecting anything to be honest as they were very generous to me rhe last year

3. The reason they had to give me money was because I get the lowest amount (am measured on how much they earn) and it wouldn't even cover rent. The same will be happening next year finance wise.

4. It's the costs besides the insurance that I'm worried about. It is an old car (12 years?) so will have maintenance costs im sure.

5. No, they don't know im struggling because to be honest, it's quite recent (moving to new place and upfront rent has to be paid) and I also just don't want ro take even more from them.
OP posts:
WhyCantIuseTheNameIWant · 19/06/2015 10:03

If you only need to use it to get to uni and home again once or twice a term, it won't cost that much.

As others have said, it might even help you find a job to help with all your finances.

Even if it seems like a white elephant at the moment, you may well be more appreciative of it in the winter!

WhyCantIuseTheNameIWant · 19/06/2015 10:06

Age need not be a problem. My car is 15 years old. I have had it 4 years now. Put it through 3 MoT tests. First two, it needed tyres. Last one needed a little bit of welding.
I have absolutely no worries about the 400 miles I will be driving in it tomorrow. Apart from whether or not the toddler will sleep at any point in either of the journeys... But I can't blame the car for that!

ImprobableBee · 19/06/2015 10:08

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Gileswithachainsaw · 19/06/2015 10:08

What kind of car is it.

have you looked into how many MPG it does. is it a car that's likely to cost alot to insure? what's parking like at uni? a driveway or garage will lead to cheaper insurance than if it's park on the street.

It's all very well the parents covering it fir now nut when op leaves uni and gets a job she will have higher rent and bills than the shared house and if it's a car likely to cist a bomb to I sure when there's already loan payments to pay back too then even I'm the future it could he tricky

sprackenzyboiled · 19/06/2015 10:11

I know how you feel.

Do you know how many calories it takes to carry my diamond ring around in a year? 300.

Can't believe DP saddled me with it.

19lottie82 · 19/06/2015 10:11

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meglet · 19/06/2015 10:12

yanbu. unless they've said they're going to cover maintenance and mot too then it could cost a fortune!

nocoolnamesleft · 19/06/2015 10:12

Spoiled? Bit harsh. Sounds like the op has a reasonable grasp of basic personal finance and is trying to live within her means, and sponge as little as possible. Bear in mind that some uni courses have hours as long as a full time job... makes it hard to earn much in term time.

BathtimeFunkster · 19/06/2015 10:13

Two new tyres could mean the difference between eating and not eating for someone who is struggling financially.

Running a car is a responsibility. You need to keep it roadworthy, you need to have somewhere to keep it, you need money for petrol if you want to go anywhere.

Why take that on unless it suits you?

Cars are just machines.

If you bought a lawnmower for someone without a garden would you expect them to be grateful?

She doesn't need or want a car, so this was not a thoughtful present.

ImprobableBee · 19/06/2015 10:13

Spracken Grin

RobotHamster · 19/06/2015 10:14

No need for name calling, Squiddly Hmm

Bullshitbingo · 19/06/2015 10:14

Lot of posters being unnecessarily dickish to the op here. She has a job, doesn't want to take anything from her parents and has been gifted something which she cannot afford to upkeep. No need for the vitriol, a lot of which sounds like sour grapes.
Friend of mine was gifted a classic car from her df, we all thought she was lucky. Three years later she was a few thousand pounds in debt trying to keep and repair the bloody thing but was scared to get rid of it and offending her df.
Be honest with your parents op. I'm sure they'll understand, they sound lovely.

MrsBennetsEldest · 19/06/2015 10:16

Find a different job or do another as well. Leave the car at your parents house during term time then there are no parking problems or extra financial burdens.

BarbarianMum · 19/06/2015 10:18

Are MOTs, welding and tyres free where you live then WhyCan'tI?

The simple fact is, it is going to cost the OP money, which is in short supply. If she doesn't need a car - if for example she walks to college/work - then it is an expense with little benefit and a lot of costs.

RobotHamster · 19/06/2015 10:18

OK, saw your update. Why don't you just speak to your parents about it, say you're really worried about fuel/maintenance costs. Sure they'll understand.. But.. you asked if you are being ungrateful, and I understand the problem, but sorry, you are..

NeedsAsockamnesty · 19/06/2015 10:18

A gift that someone cannot afford to use is not a great gift no matter how generous is appears to be

Gileswithachainsaw · 19/06/2015 10:19

But what's the point of leaving it at the parents. no use to her there is it. Might as well have waited til she was in full time work and had a grasp of how much spare cash she would have and choose cars etc accordingly then

Trumpity · 19/06/2015 10:20

If the op had said "I'm buying a 12 year old car, but I'm at uni and don't actually know how I'll pay rent, let alone run a car", posters would be telling her to sell it, she shouldn't have bought it, blah blah.

I don't think she sounds ungrateful. sensible to consider the implications.

mijas99 · 19/06/2015 10:23

YANBU OP at all

Running a car is a big expense and a car isnt needed at uni anyway

As always on Mumsnet the poor brigade are out calling names at anyone who dares to admit that they own anything at all

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