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To find it hard to be grateful for this gift (car)?

84 replies

bereal7 · 19/06/2015 09:28

Ofcourse I appreciate the gift - it's a huge gift and in different circumstances I would have been screaming with joy.

Basically, I'm in uni and my parents just gave me a car as a birthday gift but I can't help but think "well how am I supposed to afford to run a car?" when I don't even know how I'll pay rent through summer before student finance comes in.

This makes it worse - before I received the gift, I opened a letter from SFE saying I would be receiving the bare minimum AGAIN and I was already upset and stressed because it means I have to accept that I'll be taking money from my parents next year aswell ! And now...on top of money for rent, I'll have to try and run a car.

For full disclosure, they will be paying the insurance for me but I know there's still a lot of costs involved with running a car. I feel bad cos I didn't respond as excited as I usually do with such gifts (I did try!) so think my mum might be a bit dissapointed.

Sorry for the long post - I just had to get it out to people who don't know me or my family !

OP posts:
bereal7 · 19/06/2015 09:28

Wow didn't realise it was THAT long !

OP posts:
babyiwantabump · 19/06/2015 09:29

Cough ungrateful cough

RobotHamster · 19/06/2015 09:31


NerrSnerr · 19/06/2015 09:31

If they're paying for insurance and I'm guessing it has tax and mot for a while it won't cost you that much.

If you're concerned about having to rely on your parents financially could you get a part time job?

TwinkieTwinkle · 19/06/2015 09:32

Ummmmmm, wow. So it's paid for and insured. So if you don't use it it doesn't cost a penny and if you do you only pay petrol. You are coming across as ungrateful.

Littlef00t · 19/06/2015 09:33

Yes it's definitely something they should have checked you wants first. If it's fully insured, mot etc you could just use it for occasional use to get home etc. Hopefully won't need servicing for a year.

knittingirl · 19/06/2015 09:33

Or you could declare it off road for the year and it wouldn't cost you anything, and then get taxed/insured etc when you can afford it.

19lottie82 · 19/06/2015 09:34

How old is the car? Is it going to cost you much to maintain? If not I think you are worrying too much.

Can you not get a PT job to help your financial situation? Surely this car will open up more employment options for you?

SquiddlyDiddlyDoo · 19/06/2015 09:34

Why don't you tell your parents that you are very grateful for the gift but you are worried about the costs involved. They may be able to help. Ignore the idiots above... I understand why you are a bit worried about it. the key here is not to be ungrateful but to make the problem clear to your parents. they probably don't realise that you cant afford it.

Aussiemum78 · 19/06/2015 09:35

Can you tell them you appreciate the gift, but you don't think you can afford petrol and maintenance? Your mum should know why you weren't excited and maybe have the chance to sell the car and help you with living costs instead?

Can you park it in a garage for now, and start using it once you graduate?
Or will using it for small trips save you money on public transport?

Do you work part time as well as study?

SquiddlyDiddlyDoo · 19/06/2015 09:35

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woowoo22 · 19/06/2015 09:36

Do you have a job?

MissMuesli · 19/06/2015 09:36

I do see where you are coming from. Some of the girls on my course are living on very little by the time accommodation is paid for and the course we do means there's little time for a job. However it's a good and kind gift so you are being abit unreasonable. When you've finished your course you'll be in a good position with a car! Lucky you!

Seeline · 19/06/2015 09:37

I get where you're coming from OP.
I don't think it's ungrateful if it's something you've never asked for. Even just finding somewhere to park a car can be an issue in some student areas.
Did you ask for anything in particular for your birthday?
Do you use your parents car a lot?
There are always unexpected costs with a car even if the standard ones have been covered by your parents - petrol, parking, that new tyre when you get a puncture, break down costs, etc.

babyiwantabump · 19/06/2015 09:38

She's worried because she was brought a car and her parents will be paying for everything anyway?

First world problem or stealth boast? I can't quite work it out.

I did have a friend in a similar situation once - her parents bought her a brand new BMW for passing her Alevels but it just wasn't the colour she liked . I felt soooo sorry for her Hmm

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 19/06/2015 09:38

If, as other posters have suggested, it is currently taxed, insured and MOT'd, then your only cost right now is petrol. You might well find that, if you look at what you were spending on public transport, the petrol costs are similar, so your actual expenses won't rise too much.

From where I live, it costs £6.50 to go into Glasgow on the bus, but even in the big estate car I drive, it costs only £5 in petrol - so it's actually cheaper.

SayThisOnlyOnce · 19/06/2015 09:39

Students have enormously long summer holidays. You could get a full time job for about 3 months. A car is a really generous present especially with free insurance!! It won't cost that much to run. Unless it's a stretch limo or something?

DJThreeDog · 19/06/2015 09:40

I get what you mean OP.

My dad did similar, it was a lovely lovely gift and such a kind thought, but I didn't need a car for work, live right in the centre of town, and have no driveway so couldn't even SORN it.

YAB a bit U as it was kindly meant. I would just not use it, if it's taxed and MOTd then it'll cost you nothing.

MrsBennetsEldest · 19/06/2015 09:41

Double wow. So if your parents said they would pay the running costs too you wouldn't be moaning? Shame on them for putting you in this position. Fancy buying you a car AND insuring it too.

A perfect example MNetters of what will happen if you indulge your child!

OP, get a job and stop sponging off your parents.

momb · 19/06/2015 09:42

Do you have anywhere to park it at uni? if not could you leave it at home but use it for the holidays and any placements?
If uni isn't too far from your parents this might work well. Is there some reason they thought you needed a car at this point: are you spending half your income on a bus pass?
TBH the biggest gift is the insurance: a couple of no claims discount years under your belt by the time you leave and actually need a car will save you a fortune!

knittingirl · 19/06/2015 09:43

It's unlikely to be taxed - I'm pretty sure the rules changed last year so that tax doesn't get carried over with the sale of a car. When we just sold our car, we sent off the V5 to notify DVLA that we were no longer the keepers and got sent a cheque for the tax refund, so the new owners would have to tax it.

WeAreEternal · 19/06/2015 09:45

Why can't you get a job instead of expecting your parents to financially support you?

Almost everyone I know worked part time while at university.

Gileswithachainsaw · 19/06/2015 09:47

I get this. I really do.

It's a wonderful thoughtful gift . truly and I'm sure it was given with nothing but love and generosity.

but it is alot of pressure. op is going to be skint. what use is MOT or insurance when petrol, break down cover, parts and maintaining the car is going to cost more than she has.

think about if your parents bought you a house except you couldn't afford the increase in utilities and cos cil tax increase or the extra fuel costs to work as the distance is greater.

or they bought you food because you were skint but you had to buy a freezer to store it with money you don't have.

With the best intentions and all the kindness in the world it's a lot if pressure.

op I'd look into weekend and summer jobs as I guess that's all you can do Flowers

jessabell · 19/06/2015 09:48

Daughters boyfriend parents did same thing. He hated driving it. Didn't have the money to run it. Got sold few months later.

EElisavetaOfBelsornia · 19/06/2015 09:50

In some parts of the country, it's not realistic to just get a job. And full time jobs for 3 months over the summer aren't easy to come by - employers want someone who will stick round.

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