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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think schools should think more about the athletically challenged on Sports Day?

240 replies

BeeInYourBonnet · 17/06/2015 19:30

It just seems like they are set up to fail, which makes them hate sport and sports day for the rest of their lives!

My DD is yet again in the sack race and skipping race.
A. She can't really skip so it will be a disaster.
B. The sack race is like some kind of medieval torture.

She was DESPERATE to be in the sprint or obstacle race, but apparently you have to rank top three in the practice to be in those races.

The sack race however is the 'didn't make the grade' race. It's a great idea isn't it? - let's take the least athletic, make them jump for 50m in a sack, with the almost 100% chance that they are going to end up face down in turf at some stage. That should motivate them. Hmm

I feel so sorry for DD, as shes been in tears. I just feel like saying to the school to just let her run, if she comes last she comes last, but at least she won't be traumatised (again) from getting caught up in a skipping rope or going arse over tit in a sack!

OP posts:
nattarji · 18/06/2015 09:01

Yes tons of things I'm bad at! I'm terrible at lots of things - but I have a mind-set that says of you try something, you aren't bad at it. I don't really mind what people say about me, if I'm having a go that's good enough. I don't seem to be very good at getting my point across on here but I still don't think I'm crap at it Smile Definitely not deluded to say well done for taking part to a child that comes last by miles! I think sports teachers have improved a lot and also think the majority of angst comes from the parents, sports day brings out the worst in both the competitive parents and the ones that resent it for some historical reason.

LashesandLipstick · 18/06/2015 09:03

Nattarji yes I still think saying well done is important, but if you're being mocked by everyone and feel stupid, someone saying "well done" is going to sound really patronising.

Taking part is great - when you're not made to do it in front of an auidence

BitOutOfPractice · 18/06/2015 09:11

nattarji how did you ascertain from my post that I am not positive and encouraging of my kids in what they do and achieve?

And I very much disagree that most sports teachers have improved. Not at my DDs ultra-sporty and competitive school they haven't. DD1's teacher is telling them to try harder to get beach bodies or so they're not fat for Christmas or whatever. I wonder if she says that to the boys? I bet she doesn't!

treaclesoda · 18/06/2015 09:14

I don't think there is anything wrong with a parent saying 'well done' to a child who comes last either. I worded my post badly. What I was really trying to say is that the child who comes last knows that they haven't done brilliantly. They are not stupid. They know that the child who comes 1st gets a certificate and a round of applause.

As an aside, I don't believe the angst in the child that I was referring to comes from his parents, as they had no idea that he actually was so poor at racing. They thought he was fairly average. It was only when they started practising for sports day in school that he came home distressed. The school are not nasty about it either, but a six year old is not stupid - when they see their classmates at the finish line, hopping from foot to foot impatiently waiting for them to finish, they know that they are not doing well.

nattarji · 18/06/2015 09:22

Not at my DDs ultra-sporty and competitive school they haven't. DD1's teacher is telling them to try harder to get beach bodies or so they're not fat for Christmas or whatever. I wonder if she says that to the boys? I bet she doesn't!

Then you need to complain to the head about this.

Also not sure why you chose an ultra sporty and competitive school for your dd if you find it such a trial?

Maths day is every day - streaming and exam results make it quite clear where everyone is with maths. This is normal, no?

treaclesoda · 18/06/2015 09:25

Maths day is every day within the confines of the classroom.

You don't invite parents and grandparents to watch the teacher mark the year end exams and then announce the results to everyone. That is the difference.

LashesandLipstick · 18/06/2015 09:25

Nattarji when are people made to do maths in front of people though? Grades aren't read out to a crowd and you aren't forced to do mental arithmetic out loud

nattarji · 18/06/2015 09:30

Grades aren't read out to a crowd and you aren't forced to do mental arithmetic out loud

well you are in my dds school, they do it every morning (mental maths out loud for 10 minutes) and in secondary schools they are streamed. I bet your child would know who is good and bad at maths and tbh thats all most children care about - what their peers think - not Billy's random grandmother.

CocktailQueen · 18/06/2015 09:32

But if you're poor at maths, the other 29 kids in the classroom know it. They all know where all the dc are in the classroom.

I agree that kids have to learn they can't always be the best at everything and they can't run away from difficult things - what's that teaching them? What if they have a hard day at work, or have to have a difficult interview or or hard conversation with someone?

but I also think, OP, that a sack race is fiendishly tricky and perhaps not the best race for your dd. Some kids won't mind being last and will laugh; some will hate it. Could you have a word with the PE teacher and see if you can change it?

LashesandLipstick · 18/06/2015 09:32

Nattarji, I don't agree with that either.

You also have the issue that those who are good at subjects like maths are often picked on for it (I was) and those who are good at sport are often praised

LashesandLipstick · 18/06/2015 09:33

CocktailQueen there's a difference between other people knowing you're bad at something and being made to perform to an audience. Plus the less sporty kids get that anyway in P.E so how is that any different?

oddfodd · 18/06/2015 09:35

I'm not prepared to sacrifice my DS's mental health for sports day. If it were optional, I'd be delighted. I'd happily send him in to blow the whistle or something. But it isn't, and so I'm not going to. And I'm absolutely confident that's the right decision.

He has 100% attendance this year incidentally so I am not normally one for keeping children off school.

TwinkieTwinkle · 18/06/2015 09:36

Are children who are a bit rubbish at sports now actually called 'athletically challenged'?! What happened to a bit shit rubbish?!

inaboxwithafox · 18/06/2015 09:39

NurNochKurzDieWeltRetten - in which case there was one year where about one third of my children, if not more, would have petulantly sat at the side of the hall sniggering as the rest of my class tried their hardest to put on an assembly for the parents. It was a 'we are all in this together' mentality, not a 'joiny-iny holdy-handy snugglefest' No one was made to stand up and sing a solo aria or even say a line. And to be honest, who cares if we are a nation of adults who don't all want to join into things. Some people do, some people don't, variety makes life interesting.

nattarji · 18/06/2015 09:39

Yes I agree about the sack race.

If it makes you feel any better, one year my dd (who at the time was a really superb runner) was put into the obstacle race. She got her pony tail caught in the crawl net and just had to stay flailing until a teacher came to help her out. She came last by miles and some of the parents were delighted as she was so dominant otherwise Grin we laugh about it now

netty7070 · 18/06/2015 09:44

My take on it is (I'm a teacher) - if a child is weak at maths, you don't make them attempt hard sums on a whiteboard with lots of their peers watching. So why make an unsporty child endure the same kind of public embarrassment?

I totally get why sporty-but-unacademic kids should get a chance to shine but not at the expense of those less gifted. Making it optional seems a sensible answer.

oddfodd · 18/06/2015 09:44

What are your children shit at then Twinkle? C'mon, give us a giggle.

MissDuke · 18/06/2015 09:46

I have one child who seems average academically but wins every race he has ever been in on sports day. It is wonderful for him to enjoy doing well at something. He plays football twice a week, swimming 1-2 times a week and does a multi-skills class. He is extremely strong and fit for his age.

I have another child who has never won anything at sports day - despite often only having four to a race with three prizes Sad She has ASD and struggles academically as well as with sports. It is heart breaking to watch her embarrassment and distress.

For me, the ideal would be for participation to be voluntary and for parents to not attend. As much as I love to watch my son shine, I cannot stand to see my daughter's distress heightened by the public nature of sports day.

nattarji · 18/06/2015 09:47

sporty-but-unacademic kids should get a chance to shine this is a stereo type.

What about academic AND sporty kids?

nattarji · 18/06/2015 09:49

I can see reading this that I have been extremely lucky which I am very grateful for.

I have known many children with difficulties with athletic sports and some join in anyway because they want to and are always given 100% support by the parents and some really find it a cruel trial and are allowed to do other things like judge, get the drinks, sit with their parents etc. No school my children have ever been at makes children do something that really genuinely distresses them.

nattarji · 18/06/2015 09:50

I would NEVER say 'shit' or 'rubbish' to describe a child! 'athletically challenged' sounds a bit newspeak but the alternatives are horrid.

nattarji · 18/06/2015 09:51

I think I may have the only child in the country that is on the spectrum but is really good at sports Confused

oddfodd · 18/06/2015 09:53

nattaji - my nephew is on the spectrum and a really good sprinter Smile

treaclesoda · 18/06/2015 09:53

When sports day comes around I am so grateful that my children take after their very sporty father. Not for them the embarassment that I still cringe about 30 years later.

I do really feel for the parents of the children who are more like I was when I was a child.

TwinkieTwinkle · 18/06/2015 09:55

oddfodd football, he's just crap at it. In case there is any question, I don't mean children who have a disability or something that makes them 'athletically challenged', I mean children who are just a bit rubbish at sports.