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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think schools should think more about the athletically challenged on Sports Day?

240 replies

BeeInYourBonnet · 17/06/2015 19:30

It just seems like they are set up to fail, which makes them hate sport and sports day for the rest of their lives!

My DD is yet again in the sack race and skipping race.
A. She can't really skip so it will be a disaster.
B. The sack race is like some kind of medieval torture.

She was DESPERATE to be in the sprint or obstacle race, but apparently you have to rank top three in the practice to be in those races.

The sack race however is the 'didn't make the grade' race. It's a great idea isn't it? - let's take the least athletic, make them jump for 50m in a sack, with the almost 100% chance that they are going to end up face down in turf at some stage. That should motivate them. Hmm

I feel so sorry for DD, as shes been in tears. I just feel like saying to the school to just let her run, if she comes last she comes last, but at least she won't be traumatised (again) from getting caught up in a skipping rope or going arse over tit in a sack!

OP posts:
QueenArnica · 17/06/2015 21:59

Sorry but yes you are being unreasonable. Fact of life that people are better at some things than others, a life lesson I'm afraid. If a child hates maths and dread it should they not have to do it? Hope sports day goes well

HelenaDove · 17/06/2015 22:10

If a child hates maths and dreads it should they not have to do it............in front of the whole school would be the equal comparison Arnica?

Samcro · 17/06/2015 22:11

ds hated sports day. he was sick for lot of them

amothersplaceisinthewrong · 17/06/2015 22:18

My kids sports day was dire - the "ten steps".... only competing against yourself - God forbid anyone came last or lost. NOT good preparation for senior school. And it seemed to demand masses of parent help. Give me races, winners and losers any day (I was rubbish at all sport at school, but still did not mind sports day)

Jux · 17/06/2015 22:19

Some schools do it brilliantly. DD's first two primaries were shit, but her last primary was ace. There was not one child who felt they were hopeless, every single one came out of it feeling they had done something they could feel happy about. Goodness knows how the school managed it, but there were a lot of mixed ability team races, and winning wasn't that important.

They managed to do the same thing with the school concerts too, so that children who'd played an instrument for half a term were included with children who were proficient without the piece suffering and subjecting parents to those excruciatingly bad performances where all you can say is "they're very enthusiastic aren't they?".

Very clever and original thinking.

LashesandLipstick · 17/06/2015 22:26

Amothersplaceisinthewring, so you'd rather kids get mocked and humiliated instead of feeling like their effort is the most important?

I don't get why parents encourage competitive sports days when they KNOW it results in that

oddfodd · 17/06/2015 22:29

Ha Helena - I was always picked last for hockey (the teacher never said a word when the team captains whined 'do I have to have her again? I had her last week' ). So when the ball came in my direction, I just ignored it.

There wasn't much psychology going on.

QueenArnica · 17/06/2015 22:31

Perhaps not but are the whole school actually judging the child who's not so sporty? Sorry but I just think it's a bit precious, there are so many children who don't fare well academically and sports day could be there chance to shine. Taking part and doing your very best are important lessons. It's a few hours of their life once a year, it's as damaging as you want it to be I guess.

Silverdaisy · 17/06/2015 22:38

Just reading this thread is bringing back the horrors of school sports day! My academic skills were not exceptional, so personally I don't think I gained anything. No praise for being average! Being academic does not mean bad at sport or vice versa.

I also recall the unpopular, non academic boy being shouted at because he couldn't climb a rope! It was used as another avenue to make him look stupid/fat/inept.

NotCitrus · 17/06/2015 22:38

I tried the 'feet in corners and running' trick in the sack race and was shouted at for 'cheating' and being sneaky, underhand, and all the other things that I certainly became a few years later... partly thanks to putting so much effort into skiving PE!

Ds is only Y1 but up to Y3 his school have "Activity Day" where there's lots of sporty stuff including competitions and races for those so inclined and other things for those who aren't and get made to be active in a different way. I think for KS2 they all get timed etc and then either choose to race or qualify for some races.

Ds didn't notice activity day happened, which is probably the best result - he can run OK and climb and is one of the oldest, but refuses to go near a ball.

HelenaDove · 17/06/2015 22:40

"Its just as damaging as you want it to be" is as crap as "no one can make you feel inferior without your consent"

Exactly oddfodd They cant have it both ways.

HelenaDove · 17/06/2015 22:42

For the umpteenth time Arnica those that dont fare well academically arent being humiliated for it in front of the entire school and parents or any VIP that happens to be visiting that day.

QueenArnica · 17/06/2015 22:47

I just think the language used (humiliation) is a tad strong. It's something we won't agree on and can't get het up about so ill leave it there.

Silverdaisy · 17/06/2015 22:51

QueenA you may feel the word humiliation is too strong, but others find that word an accurate description for their own experiences.

SallyMcgally · 17/06/2015 23:05

Non sporty kids have to do PE throughout their school lives, arnica,so not sure what point you're trying to make. It's not as if sports day is the only chance in the year for sporty kids to shine.

PlisterBlaster · 17/06/2015 23:19

Meanwhile, in a parallel universe:

AIBU? My DS has dyscalculia so struggles with maths, and has been put down for FizzBuzz for Maths Day again. He'd love to be in the mental arithmetic competition or his class's algebra team, but only the top few get to do that. Instead he has to make a fool of himself in front of everyone doing FizzBuzz. AIBU to keep him off?

YABU. Lots of children struggle with subjects like PE and Music where other children get to show how good they are in front of all their classmates, and are only good at the academic subjects like maths where you never get to perform in front of others. Maths Day is their one day to shine, and it'll be good for your DS to learn resilience by failing publicly in a joke event.

SallyMcgally · 17/06/2015 23:27

My view is that nobody is unreasonable to keep their child off on such days. Poor Maths boy ANC poor unsporty children. I've been known to allow DS a crafty day off.

balletgirlmum · 18/06/2015 00:48

Going totally off topic. What on earth is Fizzbuzz

MineIsAGinAndTonic · 18/06/2015 01:06

It's clear many of the posters on here don't understand that dyspraxia and autism are things you 'you don't just get over'.

It took years of constant effort, including ridiculously expensive 1:1 swimming lessons (never mind regular swimming trips as a family where he refused to do anything other than walk through the shallows) for my autistic dyspraxic son to be able to put his face in the water. At 8.

Yes, swimming improves his coordination but it doesn't 'make him better' or stop him being dyspraxic. Likewise, getting older enables him to deal better with disappointment and reduces chance of a public meltdown.

Unfortunately he isn't able to compete with his peers on anything like an even playing field so the public meltdown - where people judge him and me for his 'unsporting behaviour', which is clearly my fault is inevitable.

It's hideous. It's soul destroying for him to be showed up as lacking in public, and it's awful for me as ignorant judgemental folk - who have posted above in droves - stare at us as I try to comfort him, and offer stupid words of consolation based on no knowledge of his diagnoses. And we are open, but that doesn't mean every parent and child at the school knows. No, they just judge away at the 'rubbish parenting' which leaves my son with 'inadequate resilience'.

You know, when you have no idea of other people's lives it's a good idea to be quiet. My son tackles his 'disabilities' every day in everything he does, and it's so much more than 'not being good at maths'. Being 'rubbish' at sport does not automatically make him top of the class in everything else. It's such a ridiculous suggestion that the apologists for the public shaming of children should be ashamed themselves.

I repeat, when have we ever considered it appropriate that a dyslexic child should spell competitively in front of all parents, staff and children? When have we forced the children on the 'extra support' table for maths to compete with the Level 6 children in a public forum? We don't. We never do, because it is deeply damaging to children to humiliate them in public.

BTW, my highly intelligent dyspraxic autistic child fits into one of the above categories too.

PlisterBlaster · 18/06/2015 01:37

FizzBuzz is a maths "game" which is supposed to be "fun" and seems mostly intended to be an embarrassing way to mess up in front of everybody. It's like the maths equivalent of the sack race.

en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fizz_buzz

Well said Gin.

TwartFaceBeetj · 18/06/2015 01:44

Ds2 is okish at athletes, his primary is a very competitive schooI. One teacher impartial.

The worst part I find every year is they seem to make the more plumper unfit children run the the 600 m race, they put a fast child in from each colour house aswell as the 'seriously shouldn't be running 600 m kids'

Every year it's awful to watch, they get lapped they stop half way round to cough and splutter, some are crying by the time they finish.

Last year was the worst. this poor girl had been lapped she was going so slow she was almost going backwards, everyone had finished but she still had another lap, she tried to leave the race with one lap still to go. But the teachers pushed her crying back out and one went round with her. It was the most painful horrible thing to watch, and I was actually welling up for her.

HelenaDove · 18/06/2015 01:59

Twart thats appalling. Imagine the arse covering that would have been attempted had that young girl gone home that evening and decided she didnt want to live anymore.

Because i certainly remember giving it serious consideration back in the 80s.

We do not seem to have moved on in the last thirty years.

And whats with putting a faster kid in with them Are they trying to give the bullies in that school more ammo? Because it would have seemed that way to me.
All this does is give the idea to others in that school that overweight kids are somehow "lesser beings"

Its disgusting!

HelenaDove · 18/06/2015 02:02

Would they have done the same to a crying dyscalculic or dyslexic?

TwartFaceBeetj · 18/06/2015 02:20

I think that every child has to participate in aleast 3 races, the sprints and are normally fastest selected only, relays give the the average one a chance at running race aswell as skipping / sack, but they have more children in 600m so I think the sporty ones are there to get the points and others to make up numbers, there is are other events like long jump,

They are not all bigger kids, but certainly arn't fit, I think the ethos was to make her proud that she could do it instead of giving up. The whole school and parents watching cheered her on when she came back to round to the finish. But it still felt so wrong.

I'm wondering whether it will have changed this year as we have a new head. But super competitive teacher is still there, so who knows.

TheNewStatesman · 18/06/2015 02:50

Gotta love all the people in here chattering happily about how the people who come last get a lovely round of applause.

You don't get it, do you? That's not supportive applause. It's mocking applause. Perhaps not from the adults but definitely from the kids.