To think schools should think more about the athletically challenged on Sports Day?

[BeeInYourBonnet]

It just seems like they are set up to fail, which makes them hate sport and sports day for the rest of their lives!

My DD is yet again in the sack race and skipping race.
A. She can't really skip so it will be a disaster.
B. The sack race is like some kind of medieval torture.

She was DESPERATE to be in the sprint or obstacle race, but apparently you have to rank top three in the practice to be in those races.

The sack race however is the 'didn't make the grade' race. It's a great idea isn't it? - let's take the least athletic, make them jump for 50m in a sack, with the almost 100% chance that they are going to end up face down in turf at some stage. That should motivate them.

I feel so sorry for DD, as shes been in tears. I just feel like saying to the school to just let her run, if she comes last she comes last, but at least she won't be traumatised (again) from getting caught up in a skipping rope or going arse over tit in a sack!

I am fed up with hearing everything DC do having to be a life lesson.

What events would you like to see put on for your daughter instead of the sack race, egg and spoon etc? I think it's right that sports day has a mixture of competitive races and fun races.

At school I was fairly invisible. Good academically but rarely noticed. I wasn't musical so I wasn't in the school orchestra. I was never in the school play. I enjoyed team sports but was hopeless at catching and throwing, for example, so tended to be picked last for teams. But I could run. Winning races at sports day gave me confidence and made others realise I was there.

People are missing the point here, it's not losing that upsets the child, it's the bullying that goes with it

Ok I missed any mention if all this bulling in the thread.

I was rubbish at sport too but no one made a big deal out of it and I was encouraged to compete. We all were.

Only one person can ever win a race!

Certainly if there are groups of parents targeting children who don't win and making them feel bad this would be a big problem. But it's not happening is it? Any humiliation that comes from within really needs to be dealt with as it won't just be relevant on sports day.

inabox - that mentality (you have to take part in a public performance or in front of the class even if it's something you're shit at and can't get better at - at least not without expensive specialist teaching) is what creates adults who bloody hate the whole joiny-iny mentality and go out of their way to avoid such things.

What the fucked good forcing a child who can't sing to sing on stage, or forcing a fat kid to compete in a running race, or forcing a clumsy kid (diagnosed SN or none) to do the egg and spoon race does the individual or society is a mystery to me!

It is a life lesson, but not the kind it is intended to be - it either teaches kidsto loathe the activity, or to loathe the people they think are laughing at them, or loathe themselves... or in a best case scenario teaches them to play the system - to clown about and exaggerate their awfulness so as to be laughed with not at, be disruptive to engineer being kept aside doing some punishment activity, fake illness or utter unconcern...

People who think it's their place to teach life lessons by forcing children to do things they hate or are bad at in front of an audience are IMO misguided at best and unpleasant at worst.

I do remember the fat boy at primary being forced to do the sack race and lap of the field with a beetroot red face - it was 30 years ago and although all most of us felt watching was a squirming embarrassment on his behalf I'd bet that if I remember it he does, and I can't see how it was positive for anyone.

I was also the child who refused to sing in public no matter how much trouble it got me into after being teased for my terrible out of tune voice - no positive life lesson beyond learning the strength of a silent sit down protest if you're determined :o

I have sporty kids - thanks to DH they are also quite musical. I wouldn't want chances for sporty and musical kids to shine banned nor sport made non competitive - but the public performance element should be voluntary.

LovelyFriend it is happening. I was bullied really badly in school and sports day was a horrible day where I'd be laughed at by EVERYONE, in front of parents, I'd have horrible comments from the kids, beatings in changing rooms, stuff stolen, it was awful. Not to mention the P.E teachers condoning it because I "just didn't try hard enough" (I'm dyspraxic but we didn't know at the time).

I couldn't care less about winning the race, just would like to not be made to look a tit in front of the whole school

Our primary did games in teams so it wasnt to bad for them they also did races at the end but the kids who could run were picked to take part sports day is meant to be fun not torture

How about the children with SN who are also not sporty? How was the competition and humiliation of losing in front of a huge crowd good for the little boy with autism and dyspraxia in DS1's primary school class? He struggled with social skills, with academic work and with sports. What benefit was he going to get from that experience? The school offered him the option to help the teachers with judging but he didn't want everyone to see him being different again

This may be an extreme example, but not all academic children are poor at sport and not all below average children are good at it.

I have a child at private school and every single child competes in sports day and every single child is in the end of term play. There are a high proportion of kids with dyslexia and dyspraxia (which is why my daughter is there). All of them take part and all grow hugely in confidence. Not sure how they manage it, other than making sure each child is in their comfort zone. I agree egg and spoon and sack races are really hard for dyspraxic children (they don't do them at dds school) and a straight running race, graded according to ability, seems a much better option. The highlight is the house tug of war which lets everyone take part and noone is obviously better or worse than anyone else

Out of my five kids, ds1 has always hated any physical activity, ds2 loves it and has always been Mr sporty, ds3 is good at some stuff, not a fan of football but good at cycling and climbing type stuff, Ds4 is a bit like ds1 but not to the same degree.

So I can see both sides to the debate, but at primary at least our school makes it fun for all, they have a big mix of races and yes some are competitive, in ds4's yr group thete is a bunch of really competitive boys so they do lots of races together but there are also more fun and silly races and the emphasis is on having fun. The parents go along fir a picnic, the pta sell ice creams and strawberries and cream etc and it's just a fun event. Every child is cheered on and made to feel they have achieved something, they get stickers and points for their house. At the end there is a big tug of war with parents V teachers and pupils. It's a real family day and even my non sporty dc have enjoyed it whilst my more sporty ones have had the chance to do what they are good at.

Yes that's always been my experience at both state and private. I have never seen or heard of any bullying behaviour in this day and age, I am beginning to think it's one of those things that only happens on mumsnet.

I had 1 sporty dd 1 not so much and the teachers who were in charge of the teams on sports day were excellent at deflecting if a kid wasnt doing well at whatever game the were at they were fantastic no dd2 wasnt sporty she has sn but they all seemed to have fun it is a shame that sports day is rotten for some kids

Oh and if any of the kids didnt want to do an activity a team mate would take their turn for them

Let's face it, sports day is a love it or loathe it one. So it should continue with some creative thinking from teachers to make it fun for everyone in some respect. Coping with having to participate in activities we don't always enjoy is,actually, an important part of life. Naturally I strong condemn bullying. Am I scarred by the fateful dressing up race when I was still trying to get the first garment on when the race had finished? Well, only slightly.

It might be helpful to remind the dc that even in the Olympics, in every single race, somebody comes last.

Every time I stood at a sports day, watching my non-sporty DDs being miserable, I wondered when we woud have Maths Day where the less able kids at maths would have to do mental arithmatic in front of all the school and parents. Or an art day when everybody got to stand around judging those who are crap at art.

I hated it

I posted upthread about how terrible sports day was for me when I was at school, but that I felt it was something that just had to be done.

But actually, reading all these responses I am now thinking 'no, you're right, we don't make children who struggle with maths do it in public'.

My friend's son is six and he was crying and upset for about a week before sports day because he said people would laugh at him. She reassured him that they wouldn't and no one would care but when the rest of his class had finished their races he was still only half way down the field. And parents did laugh. They weren't necessarily being cruel, it was more 'aw, bless him' but he doesn't understand that. So now he knows that a) he is crap at sport and b) his mum lied when she said people wouldn't laugh at him.

I'm truly amazed you would all think your children are 'crap' at it. Encourage them! Tell them it's fine to come last by miles! Tell them they are brilliant for having a go! Promise them an ice cream after!

"I thought the Labour Party banned competitive sports day in schools"

Probably around the same time they banned Christmas and legalised baby-eating...

Nattarji, I'm sure you have things you're bad at, right? Would you like it if someone patronised you repeatedly, made you do it even though you'd look a right idiot, and mocked you?

In reception class DS1 beat a child in a race fair and square and won the race. The child went straight over to his Mum to complain he had won and not DS1

She then announced loudly that they would go to the toy shop on the way home and she would give him £50 to spend.

I have often wondered what life lesson he learnt that day.....

Oh great idea nattarji I'd never thought about being positive and encouraging with my kids. I just say to them everything I write on MN and generall try and be as negative and horrible with them as possible. Thanks for setting me right

I don't think any of the parents are telling their children that they are crap at it. Of course people encourage their chikdren. But you'd be deluded to tell a child who isn't even half way through a race when everyone else is finished that they did really well for taking part. They only took part because they were forced to, because stopping half way through isn't an option. They're not being heroic by choice.

DS2 would just walk back to the start as soon as someone won at the finish.

Thank goodness for the relative sanity of secondary school:
'Pick three things to be in.'

DD went for table tennis, hula hooping and 3rd-set backstroke relay (in which she was 3rd out of 4, the highest place any of my children have been on sports day ever).

Meanwhile all the real keenies went hell for leather outside on the field, where people could see them.

My youngest DS, ASD, had a nice duvet day this week on his first secondary school sports day, as the school insisted everyone took part. He was absolutely panicked about the humiliation he potentially faced in front of the (all boys, very sporty) school, and I think life is tough enough for him already.