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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think schools should think more about the athletically challenged on Sports Day?

240 replies

BeeInYourBonnet · 17/06/2015 19:30

It just seems like they are set up to fail, which makes them hate sport and sports day for the rest of their lives!

My DD is yet again in the sack race and skipping race.
A. She can't really skip so it will be a disaster.
B. The sack race is like some kind of medieval torture.

She was DESPERATE to be in the sprint or obstacle race, but apparently you have to rank top three in the practice to be in those races.

The sack race however is the 'didn't make the grade' race. It's a great idea isn't it? - let's take the least athletic, make them jump for 50m in a sack, with the almost 100% chance that they are going to end up face down in turf at some stage. That should motivate them. Hmm

I feel so sorry for DD, as shes been in tears. I just feel like saying to the school to just let her run, if she comes last she comes last, but at least she won't be traumatised (again) from getting caught up in a skipping rope or going arse over tit in a sack!

OP posts:
DownWithThisTypeOfThing · 17/06/2015 20:18

teeththief

For those saying 'let them have their chance to shine', your examples of children who struggle academically aren't really comparable. Those children don't get humiliated in front of the whole school along with their parents/grandparents/aunties/uncles etc do they?

No, but every single day they're at school, they feel it. Whereas every single day my DS gets to finish first, go and work with the kids in the year above etc.

I can't be the only one who has sat through school plays/assemblies etc while some poor kid has mumbled over their words? In front of everyone? Because the teachers don't believe in only giving the speaking parts to the best readers?

TheFallenMadonna · 17/06/2015 20:20

You put them on the bottom table/set though. Every day.

ValancyJane · 17/06/2015 20:20

I was rubbish at sports day and hated it - agree it should be voluntary, students sitting out can always get involved in cheerleading a bit! At secondary school we didn't have to participate, there was a nice grassy bank to sit on (and an ice cream van!) so it was generally a nice day in the sun.

But I do agree it's great to see non-academic kids shine. I taught a lad through Year 10 who moaned constantly about being tired, was frequently face down on the desk, didn't get Science and quite honestly missed so many lessons he didn't have a fighting chance. I taught him through Year 11, and with the best will in the world, he has probably failed GCSE Science. But I will never forget watching him at the sports day of Year 10 with another teacher who taught him and our being stunned watching him run like the wind, overtake all the other students and get the medal.

We made a right fuss of him over that (though quietly hypothesised that it was why he'd been so sedentary all year - he was clearly just building up for that one burst of energy!)

TheFallenMadonna · 17/06/2015 20:21

Oh, slow posting! That was a reply to teeththeif.

whereismagic · 17/06/2015 20:21

I am not sure that removing a chance of disappointment helps children to cope with them in the future. If you know that your child will be in a sack race (because it happens year after year), why don't you practice with them at home. The majority of sport skills only get better with practice. DS couldn't skip but they were practicing it at his tennis club as a warm up and he taught himself to do it. If you want your child to participate in races why don't you go together to a park and do a junior park run with them? It's mostly 9am on Sundays, I think.

Muchtoomuchtodo · 17/06/2015 20:21

YANBU - it's setting them up to fail.

Our school gets all the kids to do the same races (sprint and obstacle) and field events (discuss and javelin - booth foam!) but they spend a couple of PE sessions grouping them into ability so that each round of each event is pretty close. Those who want to do a long distance run. Every round has a 1st, 2nd and 3rd (stickers awarded, no medals) and the others all get a sticker too saying something like well done!

They all compete for their houses and the points are announced at the end when the winning team gets a shiny big trophy.

It all seems to work really well, even for the less sporty kids.

soundedbetterinmyhead · 17/06/2015 20:22

I don't see anyone being humiliated at our school sports day - some kids (mine included!) are a bit rubbish at running and DS was told he couldn't be in the relay team because he didn't run fast enough and had to do the 'beanbag throw' instead. I think they just made that one up for the non-sporty ones. The kids that are last get a big round of applause and the usual suspects sweep the board for the medals. Good for them, I think. We're all good at different things. Can you not just have a laugh with your DCs and promise them an ice-cream afterwards if they don't sulk for coming last? I've always thought of it as character building. I was not much good at sports day but it never put me off running by myself.

FatherHenderson · 17/06/2015 20:22

My lovely DS is not sporty, nor is he academic, so sports day and prize giving are days when we plaster a smile on our faces and tell him how great he is for trying.

I do think though that sporty kids should get a chance to shine. It only bugs me when the same kids are brilliant t at maths, chess, and running Smile

Laska42 · 17/06/2015 20:22

I was that humilated kid who was rubbish at sport but made to particpate in sports day and sports lessons anyway .. I have never done any sport since leaving school and never will

soundedbetterinmyhead · 17/06/2015 20:26

Laksa - if you don't do any sport because you dislike it now fair enough, but it's a real shame that as an adult you allow something that happened at school to stop you trying things. Surely you can put some distance and perspective on it, looking back. You're not that child anymore.

PourquoiTuGachesTaVie · 17/06/2015 20:26

I'd have been devastated if I hadn't been allowed to do the obstacle course! It was my favourite and the only one I had a chance at (due to having an obsession with Gladiators and my grandad teaching me how to commando crawl). I couldn't run fast in a straight line but I could climb and roll over stuff like a champ.

Ds's first sports day in a couple of weeks. Not sure what to expect but he absolutely hates losing so I expect it will be fun stressful.

lucertola28 · 17/06/2015 20:26

Sports day in school I work (primary) is great as there are 8 stations one for each class to be at at any time. There is a variety of different races and some are team some individual. It works out so that everyone is included and everyone wins something either as on their team or individual. Everyone has fun and the sporty athletic kids can get there moment of the year while the less sporty also have a great morning of games and activities with their classmates. There is very little waiting around too.

YesThisIsMe · 17/06/2015 20:30

DS, like DD before him, and me before her, is rubbish at all sports. Each year I kick off my shoes, give him my handbag to look after and run my little heart out in the mothers' race and finish flat last a long long way behind a small group of women six inches taller than me and twenty years younger, (the other middle aged/chubby/burka wearing mums sit it out) while he cheers me on with a huge grin.

It's only bloody sports day. It's fun. Save your angst for the children whose classmates are peer marking their spelling tests and giving them 0/10 again.

formidable · 17/06/2015 20:32

Ours is lovely.

It's competitive, but within houses, so there's no pressure.

The children are all active to a greater or lesser degree all the time, so it's not boring. They rotate around the activities in house groups and collect points.

It's just fun.

CandyLoo · 17/06/2015 20:32

My 7yo DD has hyper mobility, lacks strength and is uncoordinated. At her school all the children do the same activities in small house teams - fine. But the sack race....4 children, one in each house, same class, against each other in front of the whole school. My daughter sat and shuffled her way to the back in tears. I went up to her and she had such a pleading look on her face, she said to me 'I just can't do it' and she can't. She knows her limitations and faces up to them.
As long as she grows up knowing the value of exercise and keeping healthy, I'm quite happy to send in a sick note on every sports day.

SkodaLabia · 17/06/2015 20:32

Are they at least allowed the 'feet in the corners and run like fuck' technique for the sack race? Faster than jumping and less likelihood of falling over.

Perhaps schools could consider a wider range of outdoor activities to include alongside the traditional events. Bowls? A team game requiring the building of something? A scooter relay?

BitchPeas · 17/06/2015 20:35

I think there is a lot of
Projection that goes on with sports days. Children need to learn that they and everyone else have strengths and weaknesses. And for some DC it's their only time to shine.

I was always crap at sports, never won a thing, most of the time I lost. Sports day wasn't particularly enjoyable but, my DParents never made it into a big deal to me, so I just shrugged it off.

I think that's a good life lesson children need to learn!

m0therofdragons · 17/06/2015 20:35

Dd struggled last sports day - mostly because she followed the egg and spoon race rules and others just held the egg on the spoon. However, there are kids who struggle at reading, numeracy etc. I think doing something you're rubbish at isn't a bad thing. In life we all have to do stuff we don't shine at and learning to accept who we are and what our skills are is important. Also learning how to cope out of our comfort zone is essential. I came last in every race ever. Probably cried to my mum about it. It's a life lesson and one of those challenges to us parents as to how we deal with it.

Dancergirl · 17/06/2015 20:40

God, don't get me started on 'sports' day. It's not bloody sports day, it's athletics day. There is so much more to sport than running, jumping or throwing things.

I am so disappointed to see how little PE has changed since the 80s when I was at school and how unimaginative it is.

If I was a PE teacher (which I'm never going to be!), I would want to foster a sense of love of being active and keeping fit in all my pupils. That might mean moving away from traditional team sports or things involving balls.

Swimming, climbing, trampolining, martial arts, fencing....why don't schools do more of these??

Dancergirl · 17/06/2015 20:42

There's a way to suit everyone, make it optional. Those who want to can, those who don't want to don't have to feel stupid

No, it shouldn't be optional IMO but it should include a wider range of sports other than bloody athletics.

BeeInYourBonnet · 17/06/2015 20:44

Absolutely Dancergirl !

And can we please all stop with the clever/sporty cliché.

As an adult I know PLENTY of sporty people (triathletes, marathon runners etc) who all have degrees, professional jobs.....

OP posts:
lem73 · 17/06/2015 20:45

Give kids the chance to shine at what they are good at, whatever that may be. My boys are rubbish at singing and dancing but still give the annual school production their best shot. The kids who are less able in sports are not humiliated for crying out loud. I was crap at sport and was usually last or second last in all race. I didn't feel humiliated or embarrassed. I knew I was good at other stuff, and my parents made sure to point that out. On the other hand my two boys are very sporty but not very strong academically. They have to hear the teachers praise the gifted and talented kids for most of the year and don't complain. It's good for their confidence to have a chance to shine at sports day.
I have a friend whose dd is 11 and on the gifted and talented program at school. She does no sports or exercise. Her mum is keeping her off school on sports day. I think this is the wrong message to send a child. First of all realising you can't be best at everything teaches you to be resilient. Also it is discouraging children from doing exercise. My friend btw is very overweight and has heart problems. You'd think she want her children to exercise and look after themselves.

Sparklingbrook · 17/06/2015 20:47

If Sports day was going to cause my child upset and distress I would keep them off too.

cardibach · 17/06/2015 20:47

DDs primary school in rural Wales had a competitive sports day and a co petition Eisteddfod. In the Eisteddfod every pupil sang a solo and did a recitation, as well as entering academic and artistic competitions. Everyone supported everyone at both, and, while winners were celebrated in both events, those who did less well were applauded for taking part. No humiliation.
I hated sports day as a child, but can see that it is important to give all pulls a chance to shine in public. And yes, those who do well academically are recognised publicly - to their peers every day and to parents etc at any prize giving events.

cardibach · 17/06/2015 20:48

Dancergirl and others - sports day is about athletics! Other sports (a very wide range in many schools) compete at different times.

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