to think underweight teens are a bigger/more common problem than overweight ones?

[manicinsomniac]

There is so much in the news/media in general about the obesity crisis and the number of obese children and teenagers.

I guess I believe the figures (I mean, I assume they're factual statistics!) but I find it difficult because it's so completely different to the reality I see around me.

My 12 year old year 7 daughter has been underweight and suffering from disordered eating since she was 7. She was diagnosed with anorexia earlier this year. Today we learned that a 13 year old girl in the year above will be leaving the school to go into a residential eating disorder treatment centre. She is anorexic too. A 10 year old boy in my tutor group is currently trying to avoid eating lunch and is already underweight. A 10 year old girl has recently been in counselling due to a fear of eating. There are many other very thin children in the school.

In my daughters year of approx. 45, I would say there are two overweight children and 11 who are thin to the point of it being surprising or noticeable (difficult to say underweight without knowing what's normal for them). For most, I hope it's pre pubescent/natural/the result of being very sporty. But I don't know.

I can count the numbers of visibly overweight children in the school on my fingers and that's in a school of around 350.

I worry that the publicity the obesity crisis is getting is actually starting to drive children the other way. I've had an eating disorder since I was 15 but at 12 I didn't even know what a calorie was and had never considered my body shape. Now we have 7 and 8 year olds learning about what foods they should 'rarely eat' and 10 year olds worrying about getting weighed. It feels counter productive and disturbing to me. AIBU?

I completely disagree that body weight control is always a displacement activity. I suppose it could be, but it's certainly not always the case.

It seems to me that the key aspects of eating disorders are lack of self esteem in relation to body image (but not necessarily in other areas: my own DD appears very confident about her social and intellectual abilities for example), and a loss of confidence in your body's ability to regulate its own needs.

also it's silly to overlook socio-cultural factors in favour of biological or characterological explanations, eg the influence of western media on the rates of eating disorders in developing world etc - lots and lots and lots of things play their part

I've just been on holiday and it's my first one for 4 years . I was genuinely shocked by the overweight children ( and adults ) there was so many it was shocking .

Manicinsomniac
Out of interest, what are your other goals?
as in once you are the thinnest, what are your other targets?

TalkinPeace - haha, you do make me sound crazy!

I'm actually what I call a 'functioning anorexic' - my weight has been stable for years, I only lose weight if I'm stressed or unhappy about something. I'm just very rigid about making sure that my BMI stays between 17 and 17.4 so that I can pass for 'normal' but not lose my anorexic 'label'. (Oh God, I can't believe I'm writing this out, I'm coming across like a proper lunatic!)

What I mean is, being 'the thinnest' isn't necessarily a target for me nowadays. I generally am the thinnest adult in most places (not always as I'm a semi professional dancer so often around lots of very thin people) but I don't actively try to be so if that makes sense?

Other targets - keeping my children as happy and healthy as possible when they've got me for a mother(!), doing my job well, keeping my skill level up in dancing/singing/acting, travelling the world - lots of healthier stuff than being thin, honest!

manicinsomniac stop getting down on yourself, that doesn't help you at all and you wouldn't be posting here if you didn't wants what's best.

1. Children of those with EDs are 11.4 times more likely to develop an ED of their own due to a combination of genetic predisposition and poor role models. I would suggest getting help to reach a healthy (18.5 minimum BMI) weight, and consider what messages your own behaviour is sending them (for example, dance is considered an unhealthy activity for those predisposed to anorexia and other EDs).

1. Single-sex education for females with a propensity to EDs is generally a terrible idea due to the greatly increased number of girls with EDs who attend single-sex schools. I would suggest removing your DDs from their school as a matter of urgency.

There ARE things you can do to help your DDs, but they require you to put them first (which is difficult when you have an ED of your own, but not impossible). I say this as a recovered anorexic, so I do understand, and I do know how hard it is, but please please think of your DDs and get help to genuinely change.

Manic
You don't sound mad at all to me.
Your real aim is to be a great performer.

BMI of 17-17.4 is well within the bounds of sanity there - I'm making the rash assumption that you are under 5'4" -
and the fact that you are fit and active and have kids show you are doing a lot more right than many people

RiderofDragons - thanks, I know it doesn't help. It's a sort of defence mechanism, I think. When I feel criticised I criticise myself harder before anyone else can do it.

Stackladys - my children are not in a single sex school? I'm not sure where I suggested that. We're a very happy, mixed sex (slightly boy heavy actually), non academic, child centred school where my children have been safe and secure in small classes with good friends since they were 2 years old. I'm not sure why I'd move them. Nor why I'd stop them doing what they love as a hobby. My 8 year old doesn't even have any eating problems.

TalkinPeace - thank you, that's kind of you to say. And yes, I'm only 5 foot.

Dancingqueen17 - thank you to you, too. And I'm so sorry you're relapsing. Totally agree that it's scary how quickly it can happen. Do you have any support?

manic
5' tall dancer : I suspect that at BMI of 17.2 your proportions are almost identical to mine at 5'5" and BMI 20.5
I know that because a couple of my gym friends have BMI under 18, come up to my chin but are uber fit.

You are not skinny, or thin, you are lean and mean.
Be proud.
Lots of people have forgotten what healthily lean looks like.

12.5 Fuck, yeah, that's not exactly 'functioning' is it! I don't have any good advice but I hope it can be a temporary set back for you - I'm sure you were happier when you had the strength to live life? I'm glad you've got some help. I'm online a lot if you ever want an anonymous rant.

Stacklady, do you have a link to what you say about the greatly increased number of girls with an ed that attend single sex school at all?

I always wondered about this. About the anti-obesity message being taken in the wrong way in the wrong places...
I was always overweight until the age of 18, when stressful life chages made me so anxious I coudn't eat. I was pleased; some people were worried about me and some just complimented me... I remember the shock being nervous to go on the beach in a bikini and catching sight of myself in the mirror and not recognising me. (Was not underweight, just not overweight anymore.)
During teenage years I purged sometimes, desperately wanting to loose weight but no-one to know. I ate healthily and exercised following example of parents, but was still overweight (didn't look massive but have aways been weirdly heavier than I look.) It confused me as a teen, the conflicting 'body confidence'/confidence in yourself vs guilt at beng overweight. I saw what other ate and wondered why they were thinner than me. I was unhappy, lethargic and depressed in general (unrelated) and I think it may have been that doing something to my body, clinging to calories somehow (which I counted so I knew I wasn't randomly binging or something).

When I was young enough to stil believe in fairies I already hated my body. Because I knew my weight was a cause for concern. I can date this becase I remember my friend telling me she had a fairy friend who could grant wishes. My wish was to be thin.

Haha, sorry this is turning a bit random confessional. Anyway some people think my eating is mildly disordered - sort of over controlled - now. I must admit when I hear people say they took antidepressants which were fab although they did put on a stone... it scares me. Because that stone would make me more unhappy than any effect from the AD's!! No idea how I'll cope being pregnant in future...

Anyway, what I am trying to say is that I was an overweight child/teen, just the person this anti-obesity stuff is aimed at, and yet... people could reasonably say that perhaps the message got through in the wrong way.

Maybe we should be trying to change the environment this is happening in, not stick all the responsibility on people when their entire environment is tapping into quite natural urges to eat too much/not exercise enough (natural because in nature living wild we didnt need a 'stop' mechanism, quite the reverse, and because mankind has always looked for the least labour intensive way to do anything!) Incidentally, didn't they find that beng overweight leads to inactivity, not the other way around? Also that time watching TV has more bearing on weight than amount of exercise..?

Anorexia and bulimia are vastly more dangerous than obesity, but there are far, far more overweight than underweight teens.

And obesity in teens is also physically and emotionally harmful.

talkin it is very stupid to tell people who have come to the understandig that they have an eating disorder that they're just fine and should be happy about how thin they.

I mean really...

We are own harshes critics, thats normal. You need to give yourself a break though manic and try to challenge it. You dont deserve to be tortured by yourself

We are own harshes critics, thats normal. You need to give yourself a break though manic and try to challenge it. You dont deserve to be tortured by yourself

Well, in one sense YABU: obesity is a much more common problem than anorexia, even among teenage girls.

In another sense, YANBU, which is that you've identified that all the talk about eating healthily, avoiding the "wrong" type of food etc can induce anxiety and contribute to anorexia. I think it's very hard as a parent because you don't want to make your child have an unhealthy relationship with food - on the other hand, what do you do with a child who want to live on burgers, donuts, Monster Munch and Haribos? I'm sure a lot of parents feel that they're in an impossible situation with this, and of course even if you try and take a completely non-judgemental approach to eating, there's not a lot you can do about peer pressure and pressure from tv etc.

word
BMI of 17.4 at 5'0" is not necessarily an eating disorder, especially in somebody who is light framed and very active.
Its just the over medicalisation of different lifestyles.

Its sad that OP has been allowed to feel bad about her size rather than looking for the positives that will help her stay at the happy end of her range.

do you know what anorexia nervosa is Talkin?

you seem to be confusing the psychiatric condition with something defined solely by weight and height, OP said she developed the eating disorder at the age of 15, not that she is someone of slight and lean build

A year or so back there were a lot of articles that anorexia is now thought to be a mixture of depression, control and anger: most usually in perfectionist high achievers who feel pressured to achieve. They cant deal with that anger and the stress of their own need for perfectionism etc etc so get depressed/seek to claw back a feeling of controlling/managing that anger/that feeling of outside and internal pressure. Makes sense when i think of anorexics i have worked with.

You can't give hunter gatherers unlimited access to food and expect them not to be fat. Why are we not blaming junk food manufacturers and the people that allowed processed foods to become part of our normal diet? I blame capitalism. I reckon in 50 years or so, almost everyone will be overweight

Because junk food manufacturers are not putting food in our mouths and forcing us to swallow it.

And even if they were, moderate amounts of junk food is unlikely to make us fat if we took enough exercise - unhealthy yes, but not necessarily fat.

Imo one of the biggest causes of obesity is not the quality of food, but the sheer volume that many people consume.

Most of the overweight people I know, whose eating habits I'm familiar with, just seem to consume very large amounts of food and drink, compared to most of the slimmer people I know.

There are many things that make up the bigger picture, so I don't think the cause of obesity, can be laid solely at the door of capitalism.

OP keeps her weight at 88-91 lbs. Do you still get periods at that weight, Manic?

TalkinPeace, you are 5" taller and weigh 2.3 stone more (35 lbs).