to think underweight teens are a bigger/more common problem than overweight ones?

[manicinsomniac]

There is so much in the news/media in general about the obesity crisis and the number of obese children and teenagers.

I guess I believe the figures (I mean, I assume they're factual statistics!) but I find it difficult because it's so completely different to the reality I see around me.

My 12 year old year 7 daughter has been underweight and suffering from disordered eating since she was 7. She was diagnosed with anorexia earlier this year. Today we learned that a 13 year old girl in the year above will be leaving the school to go into a residential eating disorder treatment centre. She is anorexic too. A 10 year old boy in my tutor group is currently trying to avoid eating lunch and is already underweight. A 10 year old girl has recently been in counselling due to a fear of eating. There are many other very thin children in the school.

In my daughters year of approx. 45, I would say there are two overweight children and 11 who are thin to the point of it being surprising or noticeable (difficult to say underweight without knowing what's normal for them). For most, I hope it's pre pubescent/natural/the result of being very sporty. But I don't know.

I can count the numbers of visibly overweight children in the school on my fingers and that's in a school of around 350.

I worry that the publicity the obesity crisis is getting is actually starting to drive children the other way. I've had an eating disorder since I was 15 but at 12 I didn't even know what a calorie was and had never considered my body shape. Now we have 7 and 8 year olds learning about what foods they should 'rarely eat' and 10 year olds worrying about getting weighed. It feels counter productive and disturbing to me. AIBU?

At DD's private girls school, there are a couple of overweight girls. A couple who I think have an issue with not eating.

Most of 'em are neither. They are incredibly strong and athletic. Think swimmers, skiers, tennis players, horse riders etc.

When I dropped DD off for her DofE expedition I was well impressed at how fit they were (nearly all were wearing leggings and carrying bags half their body weight ).

Hmm not sure that skiing and horse riding is going to be the solution to eating-disordered teens of either variety…

However, research shows that the biggest preventative factor against a girl developing disorders is team sports - I've never met a footballing girl that isn't fabulous and very healthy in mind and body.

Sure, TheWordFactory - whenever I go anywhere near country/outer suburban girls' private schools a sea of strapping rosy cheeked lasses seems to surge up and engulf me

But all that sporting activity is way beyond the majority's financial means. Having just booked a family ski holiday this morning (a mere week of outdoors activity) I haven't quite recovered from the wincing!

YABU. If you are well off and live in a middle-class area where you child is educated privately then you won't cross paths with many obese kids. Obesity is linked to social abd economic deprivation.

Bonsoir I know . DD is like a teaspoon next to them.

I agree all their extra curricular activities probably are expensive, except the swimming, though that takes up a lot of parental time. Several of DD's mates swim before school .

That said, they do daily sport at school too plus lots of fixtures outside school.

I know that in theory swimming is less expensive than some other sports but I think it's really only at entry level that it's more accessible (most countries subsidise swimming pools/lessons for beginners which they don't for skiing or riding).

Any extreme weight problem amongst children - whether it be obesity or underweight issues - are huge problems.

You only have to look at the figures to see that on a nationwide basis, obesity is much more common than anorexia. It might not be the case in YOUR particular school/social circles, but that doesn't change the case for the rest of the nation.

Children should be learning about nutrition, and that foods high in saturated fat aren't things that should be eaten on a daily basis. Why on earth does that worry you?

Gosh no.

I went to my DS3's year 7 presentation evening last week and there were far more overweight kids, than there was four years ago when I attended DS2's year 7 presentation evening.

Loads of overweight parents/grandparents too.

Being skinny on its own does not mean a teen has an eating disorder. I looked ridiculously skinny at age 12/13 but ate like a horse (and I've stayed very slim into adulthood). So YABU for equating skinny with problematic eating.

I'm in a deprived area and even in primary school there are many shockingly large children.

Having said that was very disturbed when we through a birthday party for our 8 year old DD at home the number of the girls normal or under weight who refused most of the food - some of which was healthy rest party food - on grounds it was fattening and they had to watch their weight and trying to put the others off it too.

I do agree with other posters eating disorders don't just mean/affect underweight people it's about unhealthy attitudes to food.

Obesity is much more common in poorer communities - I think it to do with money - it often cheaper to eat crap - time poor with working parents without access to money to mitigate those effects, education about nutrition, attitudes in community to weight - more overweight people more skewed the normal template, access to sporting facilities - we can't do swimming school does a term and a half but the cost of lessons and huge cost of transport to the pool it's not feasible for us though my DC walk a lot and get out an about in local parks - basically it's lots of things acting together.

I suppose it depends on the area.

DD's high school is state in a small, fairly affluent seaside town, the catchment covers deprived right through to very affluent areas, rural and suburban.

Looking across the children in her school, obesity is very much in the minority. DD, and her group of friends are slim, one I'd say was well built, but certainly not overweight.

I also think some parents find it difficult to hear their kids talking about the healthy eating/exercise they've learned about at school, if the parents themselves are overweight.

They probably feel as though the school is 'holding a mirror up to them' and that often makes them defensive. It's sometimes the same when their kids get weighed and measured, and they don't like the result.

My Mum (a heavy smoker) felt the same when we'd come home from school, and tell her all about why smoking is bad. She'd either make excuses like blaming society/advertising/media or just switch off completely.

YABU. I have taught in state schools and private, and there is a stark difference in the number of overweight children.

I went to a private girls school (about 20 years ago!) and eating disorders were absolutely rife... I suspect it goes with the territory.

Badly managed (idle) girls are a nightmare for bullying/victimisation/perfectionism etc but quite a lot seems to have been learned in a generation. Not that it is universally applied.

My DDs are at private school (one last year of primary and one 1st year of senior school). There are no obese children in DD's prep (small school, one class a year). There are maybe 1 or 2 per year who might be classified as slightly overweight. DD2 is around 8th centile and DD1 around 40, so I don't think it is a case of me not recognising what is overweight.
I have less cause to go to DD1's school but from what I can tell, again there are very few obese children. Neither of my DC are obsessed with weight, eating etc (and the same seems to be true of her friends), but appreciate that could come as they are still young, and I am certainly more concerned about that in the environment they are in.

My DN is at a grammar and from what my sister says it is similar there.

It was a bit of an awakening when we went to ceterparcs at Easter and DCs and DN were conspicuous in their skinniness. I was quite surprised by this, not least because Centerparcs has a bit of a middle class reputation.

My local primary is full of overweight children, it's in what is classed as a deprived area.

The next school along is more split in the middle as its in the middle of a wealthy area and a deprived area.

My sons school is in the wealthy area and there is maybe a handful of overweight children although they have in the last few years upped their intake from 30 to 60 per year so that may change, however the overweight children at this school have obese parents.

A lot of "skinny" children are healthy weights it's just our view of healthy/overweight/skinny has been changed. I'm a healthy weight (upper end of the healthy bmi) but I know I clearly need to lose weight as it does not fit/suit my frame.

People need their ideas of healthy/skinny/overweight changing back to the truth.

I'm surprised that you didn't realise that you are evaluating a skewed population.

Op you say you suffered from an eating disorder, could you possibly have influenced your daughter unknowingly? You say your friend also did, is this the teacher? Could she perhaps have instead?

Im not trying to blame you by asking but parents and friends have a massive influence on children when young and some behavour is so ingrained that you dont realise. Dp often shows signs if this and so do my sisters and i.

I do think kids should be taught more about positive body image and all different eating disorders. Both in school and home.

A friends dd went to a state school that issues huge amounts of homework each night. A lot of the girls not only had eating disorders but were self harming. My friends dd was a healthy weight, slim to chunky was how she describes herself. The homework got so much that my friend moved her dd to another school that didn't have the amount homework each night. Friends dd thinks of herself now as super skinny compared to her classmates and is amazed that no one is cutting themselves.

Parents need to take some responsibility for how they deal with food but also being realistic on how much homework their children are doing. I know of at least 2 schools that sets 3 hours homework per night and more at weekends. And they are state school.

How can you be slim to chunky? It sounds like a bit of an oxymoron.

I work on an inpatient eating disorders ward and still disagree.

At my private school anorexia was rife. Don't underestimate the extent to which private education skews data.

True dat. Did you ever hear of a slim-to-chunky bracelet?

That is how she describes herself, she is 13. But she is just that, slim, carrying very little fat but with muscles that make her legs and shoulders bigger than the skinny kids. She plays a lot of sport in and out of school.