to make a 6yr old do chores ?

[EvilTendency1]

Apparently asking a 6yr old to do the following is too much for them :
Straight in from school, change and hang up uniform / put in washing basket if dirty
Put Shoes away neatly / Hang coat up
Clear all toys away just before bed back into the toy box
Empty top shelf of dishwasher (all plastic cups and plates - so no sharp items)
Take empty bowl/plate into kitchen after meal and place in the sink with used cup (plastic - so no chance of broken glass)
Help with putting a load of washing in to the tumble dryer about once a week, (I wash three loads then when all done the tumble dryer goes on) dc just takes clothes out of washing machine and puts them into the dryer if they are downstairs and I hear the washing machine beep away that it's finished.

Am I being nasty by insisting these are done ?

The only thing I will say is please please only put knives in a dishwasher point down.

Your child might only be handling plastic but trips/falls are easy

I have never let my two (now teen) DSs get involved with the laundry other than putting their dirty clothes in the washing basket, and maybe the occasional hanging on the line. They can both iron but not up to my standards.

I think that referring to any normal household stuff that needs to be done as 'chores' to the DC isn't great.

My 6 year old does all that, except emptying the dishwasher (she couldn't reach to put anything away). She does (supervised) help with making the dinner. She does complain occasionally about having to take her plate through ("why do I have to do everything") which I ignore.

I help with Guides and every year at camp there are children (age 10+) who have never washed a dish in their life.

Ds2 could peel an apple at 5 years old. He also chopped veg with a dinner knife younger than that.

I think we pamper children way too much, then the teen years hit and we expect them to suddenly start doing stuff and they kick off. Wander over to the teenagers board to see the cries from parents

I am a SAHM with two sons 12 and 9, they do all the chores that OP's child does plus they wipe down the table after dinner and put placemats away etc. Of course I could do everything but I am not a slave.

They strip their beds once a week and Ds1 puts the washing on.

On residential school trips which start in year 3 here, so children aged 7/8 and they have to put a fitted sheet onto the bed, a pillowcase and a duvet cover. There are 90 kids per year and the staff do not want to make up that many beds.

Yes I still do, as I just see it as they are plates in the cupboard and have to be used, plus they are brighter and a bit more fun I suppose. Never occurred to me not use them ?

I probably think as well the dc's can be a bit heavy handed on the crockery when placing it in the sink so I just find it easier

Evil I'd just leave the dishwasher and washer, but that's because in my experience if you give kids a lot to do they'll forget/mess it up!

Sounds OK although I wonder whose judgment call it is that something is dirty enough to go in the wash? I remember when DD was about that age tying to explain when things went in the wash. Knickers and socks every day, other things when they are dirty. I soon discovered her idea of when something was dirty was very different from mine!

Also, slightly OT, "Take empty bowl/plate into kitchen after meal and place in the sink". Why? Why do people put dirty pots in the sink? DH does this and it drives me mad. I could never figure out why anyone thinks this is remotely useful, or indeed anything but a hindrance. Surely you stack the dirty pots neatly beside the sink ready to be washed. If you put them in the sink then you only have to take them out again when you want to actually do the washing up and, in the meantime, it clutters up the sink if you want to use it for anything else. OK - maybe this is for another thread..

Really pleased to see this. I am pregnant with my first child and my mum always had me and my siblings doing all manner of 'chores' that none of my friends had to do. I remember kneeling on a chair to wash up, also ironing things like tea towels, pillow cases etc aged 6. As teens we were left a list of jobs at weekends to do before we left the house - mum worked weekends. I never resented any of it, we just got on a did it!

I think we pamper children way too much, then the teen years hit and we expect them to suddenly start doing stuff and they kick off. Wander over to the teenagers board to see the cries from parents grin

^ I agree with this.
Also what about when they get their first job or work experience and have to make teas and empty bins and aren't used to doing it?! it's good for them to do chores!
Think of your future sons and daughters in law and teach your children now to put dirty socks in the wash

I wouldn't even call most of those things chores - like changing clothes and putting their own clothes away. Definitely not too much.

My 7 year old does all of that, plus sometimes helping with more (we don't have a dishwasher so she does some of the washing up - not plastic cups/plates either).

A few weeks ago I pulled my back and could only lie flat on the floor for a few weeks. DD did the cooking (things like spag bol), put out the laundry, hoovered etc. I talked her through it, and stood next to her when necessary. But she was very proud of herself, and I was proud of her too. All useful life skills.

And now she is learning to knit and use the sewing machine - at her request. She loves being a 'big girl'.

We've just pared down 6yo DS's list because he had too much to do and wasn't getting to all of it He was supposed to clear up around the dining table including hoovering and wiping it down, tidy and hoover hallway, clean one item in bathroom (he chose this because he loves wiping the sink), keep his room tidy, check bins to go down. Now reduced to his own self care - shower, teeth, keeping his room clean, putting plates away after eating, and being responsible for hallway. Anything else is now extra.

Same here, my nearly 6yo does all this but not the washing.

He loves to help though and it's all part of raising a child to be able to look after himself in adulthood.

all sounds good am taking notes for when children are older! Agree that the word 'chores' is not helpful. it sounds like stuff deliberately made up to create humdrum work, as opposed to normal parts of living communally. I like the American list above too with its raking leaves and mopping floors. Am imagining big New England houses knee deep in drifts of autumnal leaves...

A friend of mine has 2 DC aged 10 and 12. They do nothing around the house - she will even make them a drink when they ask for one and they are nearer to the kitchen than she is! Her husband does very little too.
She works full time and I think is acting the martyr now, skivying around after them all - makes me

Mine all have to do chores (or 'learn to look after themselves'), even my 4 yo.
It's all part of very gradually increasing independence and confidence and teaching them life skills IMO.
My littlest helps me sort and fold washing, puts her own washing away, helps do the dishwasher (nothing breakable), takes turns setting the table. Her favourite job is steam mopping the floors!!
They are all pretty rubbish at tidying up though!

I have 2 boys, 8 & 11
in from school they sort their uniform hang up blazer's put shoes away
after homework they help either make dinner or at least set the table.
about twice a week they empty the dishwasher or stack it
they change their beds and tidy their own rooms.
and help with the washing.
they both love cooking and gardening so they don't see these things as chores.

That's fine - as PPs have said, mos tof it basic stuff all kids shoudl do

Thing like tidying toys away they can do - like you say, if they're capable of removing them form a toy box, they're capable of putting them back.

The parents who do everything for their kids will be doing this when they're teenagers and be on here moaning that their Precious isn't doing enough to help

My 3 year old puts his toys away (I do help him so it doesn't take too long), his dirty clothes in the basket at bath time, puts his own shoes away and generally tidies up after himself. I've never seen that stuff as a 'chore' as such, just the general expectation that we all tidy as we go so there isn't a massive solo tidying job for muggins in the evening. He chooses to help the bigger kids set and clear the table (he generally does cutlery and his own plastic bits) as he sees it as fun and part of being a 'big boy'. He also helps me put washing on the airer. All these things will continue as he gets older. All part of being a family.

My 2 year old helps me set the table, puts her dirty clothes in the wash basket and helps move clothes from washer to dryer. She also tidies her toys up at the end of the day, and chops up soft vegetables such as mushrooms with her child-knife.

Admittedly she's a bit rubbish at the last one, but she does it nonetheless.

It sounds fine and teaching him that basic skill of picking up after yourself.

My 21 month old charge does a lot of your list!

He puts rubbish in the bin/recycling bin, helps to empty the dishwasher (safe things only) empties the washing machine and puts laundry in the tumble drier or washing basket and hands me items and pegs if the weather is good. He puts his clothes in the bottom drawer when ironed. Tidies up his toys when he's finished playing (he'll put whatever he is playing with away if he wants to get out another box, although there are always his toy broom, mop, dustpan and brush, spade, take and various cuddly toys scattered around the house until bath time!) He helps with the gardening, watering and re potting.

We make a game of everything and he gets loads of praise, which he is a huge fan of!!

YANBU.

DS1 has to put his shoes in the shoe box, hang up his coat, get changed out of his uniform and fold it neatly/put it in the wash every day when he comes in from school.
He empties the bottom tray of the dishwasher, which is plates and crockery, because the cupboards for those are floor level; he can't reach the cups/glasses cupboards.
He lays the table when I remember to ask him, and is expected to clear his toys off the floor before bed, but not necessarily to put them all away, just get them out of my way so I don't step on them.
He has helped me hang out washing since he was about 2 or 3, and DS2 now does that - they like to hand me the pegs. :)
Ds1 is expected to put his plates/bowls/cutlery in the right place after use; washing up bowl or dishwasher, depending.
He's 7 and a half now, so I'm going to start him doing the washing up soon, but only plastic stuff to start with.

I don't see any problem at all with getting children to help with chores - they're going to have to become independent adults at some point so they might as well learn how to do all this stuff and there's no point, IMO, waiting until they're recalcitrant teens.

as a slightly different perspective: my folks always had my sister and I (now 34) doing various tasks; hoovering, mopping, cleaning out cupboards, dusting, gardening, diy, helping with cooking etc. I cant remember not doing it, so must have started fairly young. I dont remember resenting it at all, or seeing it as a negative in anyway, nor do I now (and I didn't even get pocket money for it most of the time). It was helpful to learn how to do many household jobs - and i was spending time with my family. When I went to uni, who had/hadn't helped around the house really showed! Personally, I think if you dont make it a big deal and just a natural part of life (as I always considered it) then i cant see any issue

I guess if someone was getting their kid to do so many 'chores' that they were tired, miserable or it was impacting school/sleep/friendships then it's gone too far (not saying anyone on here has done that!)