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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Is this weird?

131 replies

coffeegonzo · 15/06/2015 13:30

I actually think I agree but my children's friends were horrified; their teacher (- sixth form but it could have been in other classes too) had a child who was off colour but the six formers needed teacher near exams etc, so she brought the crotchety off colour 18 month (?) old into class and breast fed during class. The students found it "ultra awkward"... I half think this is a good life experience for them, admire the teacher's dedication, but also think actually it's a bit weird. Maybe a teeny baby but this was a toddler.....maybe that makes a difference for me, I can't decide... It's a friendly independent school- teachers first name terms, relaxed but quite academic.

OP posts:

Lavenderice · 15/06/2015 15:56

Oh and I'm neither male or Victorian.

Floggingmolly · 15/06/2015 15:57

There are no instances that I can think of where children in the workplace would be remotely appropriate, Sorcha. Most work requires you to concentrate fully on the job in hand, and usually deal with other people either by phone or in person.

Attempting that with a toddler at your side is ridiculous, and 99.9% of of employers quite rightly wouldn't countenance it.

00100001 · 15/06/2015 15:58

Unprofessional is an appropriate term it means "below or contrary to the standards expected in a particular profession."

I would not have thought it was standard to expect a toddler in a Sixth Form Classroom..

retrocutie · 15/06/2015 16:10

Good on her! I'm DYING though on behalf of the sixth formers, they must have been mortified .

SorchaN · 15/06/2015 16:11

Most work requires you to concentrate fully on the job in hand, and usually deal with other people either by phone or in person.

Yeah, and that's one of the things that could change.

Attempting that with a toddler at your side is ridiculous, and 99.9% of of employers quite rightly wouldn't countenance it.

They don't countenance it, but they could. It would require a change in expectations, but it's not actually impossible in many workplaces, with some exceptions of course.

Many people who work from home already do it.

fiveacres · 15/06/2015 16:14

It was obviously a fairly unique set of circumstances, though.

The toddler was unwell.
The students had an exam imminently.

Had the toddler been well, she wouldn't have been there. Had the students not had an exam, the mother would have had a day off to look after her.

DJThreeDog · 15/06/2015 16:15

The breastfeeding is a red herring.

It's inappropriate to have your ill child in work with you - especially if you are responsible for the education of others.

fiveacres · 15/06/2015 16:17

True; I'm sure the students would have been better having no teacher or cover just before their exam.

Lavenderice · 15/06/2015 16:28

SorchaN the difference is that people choose to work from home, I for one wouldn't choose a workplace that had children present.

SorchaN · 15/06/2015 16:42

Choice is great when it's easy. Sometimes it's more complicated, as in the situation described by the OP. I would certainly like to live in a world where people didn't have to worry quite so much about juggling paid employment and childcare, and I think child-friendly workplaces (where possible) could be a helpful solution.

SpringBreaker · 15/06/2015 16:46

How does the child feed when it is in child care? I would assume it can take a bottle then, so why not give a bottle of expressed milk instead of making an exhibition in front of the class. Totally unprofessional.

RedToothBrush · 15/06/2015 16:47

Many people who work from home already do it.

The thing with that is

a) They are not directly around OTHER PEOPLE who may be distracted or disturbed by a baby

b) If you work from home, you can actively adjust your hours around the time the child needs you and work outside the 9 - 5 slot.

c) If you are in a school setting you can't go to the kids, "Sorry just going to be ten minutes whilst I take my toddler to the loo" or "My child needs me to do this, so come back her at 7.30pm after her bedtime" or merely telling a fuckwit in the class to belt up and stop talking so others can concentrate if your toddler is midway through a tantrum.

Hence why its inappropriate and no amount of child friendly working will change that. Child friendly working is more about providing on site childcare and being sympathetic to times when a parent may need cover for flexible working so they can prioritise their child WITHOUT causing a big disruption to the workplace.

Gottagetmoving · 15/06/2015 16:48

It would get ridiculous in a large workplace if every parent could bring a sick child in to work!
No one is indispensable and students won't suffer that badly if their teacher is not in due to those circumstances. Where do you draw the line? Go into work when you are really ill yourself too?

hackmum · 15/06/2015 16:50

"Unprofessional" my arse. The teacher was clearly showing exceptional dedication to her students by coming in to teach them at a critical period instead of staying at home with her child. Good for her. Given the lack of gratitude I bet she wishes she'd stayed at home and let them flounder through the exam without her support. Fuckwits.

Gileswithachainsaw · 15/06/2015 16:56

How on earth. is it possible to answer questions honestly or discuss sensitive subjects in depth to the required levels associated with the age of the class in the presence of small children.

what if said toddler repeated private information it over heard it he staff room.

Gottagetmoving · 15/06/2015 17:01

hackmum dedicated? Or martyr? I doubt she could give her best to the students whilst nursing a sick child.

00100001 · 15/06/2015 17:03

I'm sorry hack ONE day of this woman not being there for the lessons would not realistically hinder a student's exam... any other teacher would have been able to help.

yes she was 'noble' for wanting to go in and help -well done her. But bringing a sick a toddler into the classroom is not good.

If the child was so sick it couldn't go to the usual place, wh was it OK to bring it in to a classroom and potentially spread the illness on to students who are due to sit an exam???

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 15/06/2015 17:06

Since the sixth formers' only complaint/issue seems to have been the breastfeeding, it may be reasonable to assume that the child's crotchetiness didn't cause any real disruption to the class. And maybe the teacher is good at multi-tasking, so didn't struggle to look after her child and give her students the attention they needed and deserved.

Re. the breastfeeding - a friend and I went into a local secondary school with our babies - I took ds2 who was about a year old, and she took her dd who was about the same age - we were taking part in a child development class. She was told by the school that she was NOT allowed to breastfeed in the class - even though it would have been a good and relevant thing to include in the lesson.

Original poster

coffeegonzo · 15/06/2015 17:17

I would't condone this if it had been a regular lesson because I do think a toddler is a distraction; apparently this one was too.....

OP posts:

marcopront · 15/06/2015 17:21

The last lesson before the exam, can be crucial. Having a different teacher can mess with the student's confidence and she might be the only teacher of that subject at A'level.

Original poster

coffeegonzo · 15/06/2015 17:21

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius the crotchetiness did also cause disruption. I think the teacher breast fed to soothe and try and keep the toddler quiet. The teenagers were discussing the breastfeeding AND the fact the toddler was there; it was both; but SOME of them found the breast feeding a step too far; and I think it was good they were exposed to the BF, but maybe not in class.

OP posts:

Original poster

coffeegonzo · 15/06/2015 17:23

marco yes, it would have been an important confidence boosting lesson this dedicated teacher felt they really need. it was just a culmination of things and she obviously thought the a level students getting this boost was all important.

OP posts:

Gileswithachainsaw · 15/06/2015 17:24

The last lesson before the exam, can be crucial. Having a different teacher can mess with the student's confidence

I would say that feeling unable to talk to your teacher be case she has her kid with her and is desperately trying to placate her and may appear even slightly distracted could well have the same effect.

RabbitIssue · 15/06/2015 17:25

Bit of a tangent but people who work from home don't normally do it around children as someone said up thread. I work from home but my children are at school and before school age were in nursery, you can't work around a child (unless self employed maybe and you work when they're asleep)

Gileswithachainsaw · 15/06/2015 17:25

I know if someone was wrestling with a small child or their kid was in a bad mood I'd feel a bit like an inconvenience talking to them no matter how hard they tried to appear to give me their full attention

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