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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Is this weird?

131 replies

coffeegonzo · 15/06/2015 13:30

I actually think I agree but my children's friends were horrified; their teacher (- sixth form but it could have been in other classes too) had a child who was off colour but the six formers needed teacher near exams etc, so she brought the crotchety off colour 18 month (?) old into class and breast fed during class. The students found it "ultra awkward"... I half think this is a good life experience for them, admire the teacher's dedication, but also think actually it's a bit weird. Maybe a teeny baby but this was a toddler.....maybe that makes a difference for me, I can't decide... It's a friendly independent school- teachers first name terms, relaxed but quite academic.

OP posts:

tbtc · 15/06/2015 13:52

If this was not an actual lesson, but rather just the teacher being available in class for drop-in advice and support then I'd say it was OK, but if she was meant to be taking a class I don't think it's appropriate to take your child to school, and certainly not an unwell one.

The issue for me is whether the child should be there at all. If it's decided that it's OK (don't teachers have guidelines for these things?) then breastfeed away - that would be less disruptive than a grizzly 18 month old.

LaurieFairyCake · 15/06/2015 13:57

The only other option is for the teacher to be off work.

The baby was 'off colour' - too ill to go to nursery, too immediate to likely find childcare.

Is anyone really saying that they think the 6th formers who have exams should have done without the last minute reassurance of the teacher?

The woman is entitled to be off with her slightly sick kid, the fact she went in means she's prepared to put YOUR kids before her preference of being at home.

Bit shitty to call her 'unprofessional' - are you really saying her being off (which everyone's entitled to do) is more professional?

however · 15/06/2015 13:57

I assumed exam time + class + students present meant exam room.

shrug. I'd be less bothered if that were the case. Unless they were supposed to be studying for exams.

MurielWoods · 15/06/2015 14:01

So this tutor found herself in a position where she was torn in two.

Her child was 'off colour' and so no childcare available (more often than not in this situation it is the mother that is expected to take time off work, make yet more excuses to her boss, feel guilty about letting people down, risk her career progression etc)

Her A Level students also needed her, they are at a critical time with exams looming and need as much support from her as possible. Their futures could literally depend on her support at this time.

She can't abandon her toddler and she doesn't want to abandon her A Level students so she comes up with the best possible all round solution that she can think of.

But yeah, let's bitch about her on here and pull faces.

Newmanwannabe · 15/06/2015 14:03

A sick child is a sick child. You don't come to work. If a teacher being off for one day is going to completely throw someone's exams then they have a problem with resilience.

If her input for last minute advice and reassurance was that crucial couldn't they email? Or schedule videoconferencing from home?

RedToothBrush · 15/06/2015 14:04

The teacher should be in school solely for her students, not her child. If she needs to put the needs of her child above her student, that's fine - its the school's responsibility not hers to accommodate that.

She is not being a hero for still being there for her students, she is putting them at risk of catching whatever her child has at a crucial time for them. Its selfish; not breaking a taboo and being educational to the kids.

Its really unprofessional, no matter how informal the school is.

BabyMurloc · 15/06/2015 14:04

If the child is too ill to be in daycare then they are too ill to be in a classful of kids. We aren't allowed to send our kids into school ill so why should the rules be different for a teacher?

I understand kids need a regular teacher, especially at this time, but if I had a kid about to take exams and they came down with a bug they caught off the teachers sick toddler? I would be livid. That is totally avoidable. I think the risk of several ill kids trying to do exams is far greater than them missing 1 day of their own teacher.

KoalaDownUnder · 15/06/2015 14:05

I agree, Muriel.

It seems pretty clear from the OP that it was during a class held close to exam time, not actually during an exam.

Whether the child was contagious is a separate issue, but I think anyone raising an eyebrow at the breastfeeding needs to grow up.

LeChien · 15/06/2015 14:07

I'm with Muriel too. If she could have stayed at home with the ill toddler she would have done.
Breastfeeding isn't an issue here at all.
Presumably her superiors were ok with it.

NinkyNonkers · 15/06/2015 14:10

If the school setting said it was fine then great. It doesn't take much for a child to be too ill for a setting and she was dedicated enough to be there for them and not be off. The BF doesn't even warrant a comment really, 18 months old is very small and if she was trying to keep them calm so she could teach feeding is magic. Nowt weird there.

Sleepybeanbump · 15/06/2015 14:11

Excellent life experience for the kids.

It's depressing really that even kids see this as weird and awkward. How do we expect anything to change if we're bringing them up to have that reaction?

Sleepybeanbump · 15/06/2015 14:12

The only think that I would raise my eyebrows about is the bringing germs into school issue.

Gileswithachainsaw · 15/06/2015 14:13

Doesn't matter if it wasn't an exam room. who are you to decide what constitutes a lesson important enough to not have distracted by a toddler and which ones are ok to let slide?

kids are likely to have dealt with stand in before it wouldnt have phased them.

I'd shed called in then cover could have been found and she could have emailed in a back up lesson plan or given them.a list if what to study.

what's not ok is turning up sick child in tow and thinking that's acceptable. not to mention the hazards of the classroom itself. what with not being geared up fir toddlers. staple guns, drawing pins, glue guns, permanent markers....

NinkyNonkers · 15/06/2015 14:16

The issue the kids raised though was the BF wasn't it? Which is a bit weird. It's just breastfeeding. What did they think breasts were for?

00100001 · 15/06/2015 14:16

No - this whole thing is being clouded by the breastfeeding.

Take that out of this scenario.

and we're left with this:
"their teacher (- sixth form but it could have been in other classes too) had a child who was off colour but the six formers needed teacher near exams etc, so she brought the crotchety off colour 18 month (?)"

It is not at all appropriate to bring a sick 18 month old into a class! The child was sick, the mother would be distracted, the students would be distracted. The child could make others sick (jus tas they're about to do their exams!)

It's not even appropriate to bring a well 18 month old into a class!

NinkyNonkers · 15/06/2015 14:17

I'm sure if the school had an issue they wouldn't have allowed it.

pookamoo · 15/06/2015 14:17

Which bit do you think is weird?

Breastfeeding an 18 month old is not weird. It is good for people to normalise this and hopefully the students will not find it as uncomfortable next time they see breastfeeding.

Bringing a poorly 18 month old to work is a bit weird, especially as she was too ill to go to her usual childcare.

NinkyNonkers · 15/06/2015 14:18

You can't really leave it out of the question, the kids raised it!

Original poster

coffeegonzo · 15/06/2015 14:20

It wasn't an exam room; it was a lesson but at exam time so important for the students.
As I said feel ambivalent about it; she is a dedicated teacher; she wanted to get last minute help for the students but she's also a dedicated mum....

I'm afraid i don't know how sick her child was, it was just a discussion the six formers had, and they thought it was "weird"...

OP posts:

DisappointedOne · 15/06/2015 14:20

My parents were teachers. If my sister or I was ill we had no choice but to go to work with one of them.

Gileswithachainsaw · 15/06/2015 14:21

yy 001

mn will justify anything if breastfeeding is involved.

You don't take kids with you to work unless it's a nursery and your child goes there. Would you say it's acceptable fir a barrister in court to sit there with their child? Your Dr? someone giving you a job interview? waiters serving with babies in slings?

no because you just don't do it.

unprofessional regardless of feeding method

Original poster

coffeegonzo · 15/06/2015 14:23

I think the superiors would have been ok with it; it's a relaxed school. To be honest she probably didn't run it past them...
But I agree on the point that if her child was contagious it was a rash thing to do at exam, or any, time.

OP posts:

Original poster

coffeegonzo · 15/06/2015 14:27

pookamoo - just to clarify as I've said, it's my children's teenage friends who found it "weird". We talked about it at supper the other night; I couldn't make up my mind. Apart from anything it's a huge distraction while they were trying to learn, but it's better than her not being there to help them at all.... I like this teacher, she's very committed,; and since she's had children she's very committed to them too....
The teenagers found breastfeeding an older toddler weird, yes, but that's part of life...

OP posts:

zeezeek · 15/06/2015 14:27

The kids were right. It's weird and unprofessional - both bringing a child (sick or not) into a workplace and the breastfeeding it. All totally wrong. A workplace is not the right place for either - whether it is a school, an office, or a courtroom.

Original poster

coffeegonzo · 15/06/2015 14:28

my op is unclear- I actually agree with the teacher for doing it....not that it's weird....

OP posts:

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