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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To want to join a Cult?

84 replies

aliasjoey · 14/06/2015 23:39

For years now I've felt ?dissatisfaction?curiosity? Like something is missing from my life, but I don't know what...

I do wonder about becoming religious, but I'm not sure about God, especially when seeing all the dreadful things that happen in the world. But I feel like there must be more to life than this... Those 'religions' which are essentially about doing good and being better people, [humanism?] well they don't appeal either, I want something that feels momentous.

I'm ripe to be sucked into some dodgy sect, ideally one with a charismatic leader who can promise good things in the afterlife. A Cult that's loose on morals, generous with holidays and has a very short initiation ceremony.

(also, not one that frowns on drinking alcohol Grin Wine Any suggestions?

OP posts:
Peaceloveandhobnobs · 15/06/2015 08:27

My dad was in a cult. By all accounts it mostly involved peeling potatoes and starving yourself.

worldgonecrazy · 15/06/2015 08:34

How about paganism? It's not a cult, you get to choose your own morals, and there is no initiation ceremony. We're also quite keen on alcohol.

Those who follow the "northern trads" (think Viking) like to do a lot of boasting, which basically involves quaffing out of a horn. (Quaffing is like drinking but you spill more)

We have 8 holy days a year, but if you want to be eclectic there is one nearly every day.

HootyMcTooty · 15/06/2015 08:36

How do you feel about aliens and signing up for 1,000 years with no get out clause. If you're down with that Scientology might be for you.

I don't think they're so keen on solving the world's problems or helping make people better though, I think it's more about money and secrets, but still ...

CatOfTheGreenGlades · 15/06/2015 08:43

Yes start your own, it could be the first ever religion that's actually just about being pleasant to people and having a nice time, with no arbitrary rules, guilt and endless punishments.

Makes you wonder why cults/religions aren't like that anyway.

CycleChic · 15/06/2015 08:43

I think it's more about money and secrets
Isn't that basically all cults though,?

Preciousbane · 15/06/2015 09:06

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Pantsalive · 15/06/2015 10:23

I second the suggestion of a mindfulness course or, perhaps, a philosophy evening class although now pondering whether I want to be a viking

SolidGoldBrass · 15/06/2015 15:49

I'm entirely happy to hear that Baz is alive and well and blameless as ever.

morelikeguidelines · 15/06/2015 16:10

Yoga is good for the feelings you describe. Plus you can get buff, innit.

littlemslazybones · 15/06/2015 16:14

A Cult that's loose on morals, generous with holidays and has a very short initiation ceremony

So, like a cult but no religion but a sense of shared purpose, loose morals, gerenerous hols, short initiation, I'm not a careers advisor but that sounds like politics to me.

Original poster
aliasjoey · 15/06/2015 16:28

Some great ideas, thanks!

I would love to join a commune (would be tricky to persuade DH though - he worships at the altar of capitalism) but not sure it would answer those big questions about Life.

The Alpha course I believe only really covers Christianity. Scientology appeals, weirdly, it's got enough hidden madness to make me wonder if they're onto something. But reading about the death of Lisa Mcpherson makes me think maybe not... Jeremiah Duggan is another one who fell into a bizarre cult and that didn't end well.

I hear what some people are saying about "there is no why, this is all there is" but I want more! I want to believe!

Perhaps Buddhism is the answer? No-one's ever been killed from that, have they?

Is the WI a Cult?!

OP posts:
BreakingDad77 · 15/06/2015 17:06

The problem is with most cults is the financial investment needed.

How about the Raelists?, there does seem to be quite a lot of space man cults. Jehovas have filled the space ship already so you would be stuck on earth and no birthdays, blood transfusions is a bit of a bummer.

Have been to an evangelical christian group, I found the ultra charismatic leaders unnerving, I kept getting that stepford vibe all the time.

I like Taoism's way of trying to balance everything.

CatOfTheGreenGlades · 15/06/2015 17:39

I suppose the ultimate anti-cult is the quakers. Believe what you like, and join in or not.

ErrolTheDragon · 15/06/2015 17:46

Give Buddhism a go. They seem mostly quite happy for people to take what they find useful from it without necessarily believing anything.

CatOfTheGreenGlades · 15/06/2015 18:51

Although there was a thing about violent Buddhist extremists on R4 the other day. DS was shocked! (he has just done buddhism as a school topic)

Kind of missing the point of buddhism IMHO though what do I know, I'm an atheist.

EthelDurant123 · 15/06/2015 18:55

Atheism. Determine yourself what is acceptable. Alcohol is encouraged.

sausagechops101 · 15/06/2015 18:56

I second the WI. I only went once and now these mad women keep coming round to my house with armfuls rhubarb and bottles of sloe gin.

CatOfTheGreenGlades · 15/06/2015 19:21

Actually I was invited to a get-together by an acquaintance and innocently went along, only to find it was a cult-like gathering of humanists! Everyone had to sit in silence and listen to someone bore on and we were pressured encouraged to join the movement. Can't remember what they were called but I do remember thinking "Um you're humanists, you don't need the rituals and ass-sucking, that's the WHOLE POINT"

musicposy · 15/06/2015 22:06

Scientology noooo! The hidden madness is just getting-money-out-of-you in disguise.

I second Quakers. I went to a meeting once. Everyone sat in silence for an hour, broken occasionally by some random nutter old guy spouting some completely unintelligable insight he'd just had. I felt moved to spout my own insight but one didn't come to me. Perhaps I should have given it another week or two.

At the end everyone shook hands with me and was very nice.

A friend of mine is a wiccan. I'd quite like her to make me some spells but I'm nervous to ask. Spell Making - now that sounds like a more absorbing hobby than cross stitch and it might have alcohol?

ErrolTheDragon · 15/06/2015 22:17

I'm beginning to really warm to the idea of the WI. It's a Cake (and jam) cult isn't it?

musicposy · 15/06/2015 22:40

Plus, with the WI you get to pose naked behind cakes. That has to be suitably cultish.

DaveMccave · 16/06/2015 01:00

An anarchist activist. There are plenty of movements.

CycleChic · 17/06/2015 16:43

Has anyone suggested forever living or similar yet ? www.mumsnet.com/Talk/_chat/2394271-Ive-been-sucked-into-forever-living-Why-do-I-feel-like-the-bad-guy

Original poster
aliasjoey · 19/06/2015 17:24

cycle I think Forever Living was suggested, it does imply eternal life doesn't it? I will list the ideas, and maybe work my way through all of them in turn...

Hell's Angels
Younique
See a doctor Hmm
Learn cross-stitch
Catholicism
Barry Manilow Fan Club
Join a commune
Buddhism
Become a Viking
Scientology
The WI
Yoga
Raelism
Politics
Quakers
Humanism
Wiccan

Finally, someone pointed out that Mumsnet is a bit like a Cult really. And CatMilkMan invited me to join her cult, but she didn't say what that entailed, or if there were any dodgy sexual practices.

I'm going to start with Buddhism or maybe the Viking thing. (am very surprised no-one mentioned AA)

OP posts:
hiddenhome · 19/06/2015 17:32

Join a local walking club.

Walking clubs have all the characteristics of a cult and you can improve your health into the bargain.

One warning though, if you can't keep up, the leader - invariably a stout woman wearing cords - will find ways of punishing and humiliating you that will haunt you forever Grin