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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To want to join a Cult?

84 replies

aliasjoey · 14/06/2015 23:39

For years now I've felt ?dissatisfaction?curiosity? Like something is missing from my life, but I don't know what...

I do wonder about becoming religious, but I'm not sure about God, especially when seeing all the dreadful things that happen in the world. But I feel like there must be more to life than this... Those 'religions' which are essentially about doing good and being better people, [humanism?] well they don't appeal either, I want something that feels momentous.

I'm ripe to be sucked into some dodgy sect, ideally one with a charismatic leader who can promise good things in the afterlife. A Cult that's loose on morals, generous with holidays and has a very short initiation ceremony.

(also, not one that frowns on drinking alcohol Grin Wine Any suggestions?

OP posts:
Getthewonderwebout · 15/06/2015 00:51

How about Forever Living. They're definitely a cult. And you get the added bonus of drinking a month's worth of aloe Vera flegm juice and feeling you can take on the world and all whilst you lead a fun lifestyle, being your own person, having so much time for family and friends and taking exotic holidays to far flung destinations .

CatMilkMan · 15/06/2015 00:57

Gutentag alias and bonjour I am not part of a cult but I am part of a family, a family that will accept absolutely anyone for the low low price of just 10% of your income for life.
Join out family Ms Joey you deserve it.

TooOldForGlitter · 15/06/2015 00:57

There's no why and no afterlife. We just are. Try and be a decent person and have some bloody fun along the way. That's it really. #churchofglitter. #donationsaccepted

TooOldForGlitter · 15/06/2015 01:01

Wait, what? Manilow is dead?! Impossible! He's the Keanu Reeves of shitty crooning! Immortal.

CalmYoBadSelf · 15/06/2015 01:03

Maybe you need a commune rather than cult if you have no pressing religious allegiances? Shared cooking, cleaning, etc sounds positive and may have a good community spirit if you don't have enough irritations to kill each other

DB and his wife are in their early 60s, no children and have several close friends of many years who are also childless. They plan to all sell up in the next few years, buy one large house that can be modified to allow all of them privacy and space when wanted but they will live together, look after and support each other and employ carers as needed going forward. They are all looking forward to it immensely

SilverNightFairy · 15/06/2015 01:08

I misread this as join a cunt..

I hope you find what you are looking for, Op. I joined a book club once and found it very taxing.

Butterflywings168 · 15/06/2015 01:23

Ex-p was like this, and in fact joined a slightly cult-like 'spiritual' organisation (after we split). Note the 'ex' bit.
Seriously though, maybe try mindfulness/ Buddhism? There are so many flavours, if you don't find one place helpful just try another. I am still looking.

Butterflywings168 · 15/06/2015 01:24

Ex-p was like this, and in fact joined a slightly cult-like 'spiritual' organisation (after we split). Note the 'ex' bit.
Seriously though, maybe try mindfulness/ Buddhism? There are so many flavours, if you don't find one place helpful just try another. I am still looking.

Butterflywings168 · 15/06/2015 01:25

Ex-p was like this, and in fact joined a slightly cult-like 'spiritual' organisation (after we split). Note the 'ex' bit.
Seriously though, maybe try mindfulness/ Buddhism? There are so many flavours, if you don't find one place helpful just try another. I am still looking.

TooOldForGlitter · 15/06/2015 01:28

Ffs butterflywings just spit it out Grin

Butterflywings168 · 15/06/2015 01:36

Ex-p was like this, and in fact joined a slightly cult-like 'spiritual' organisation (after we split). Note the 'ex' bit.
Seriously though, maybe try mindfulness/ Buddhism? There are so many flavours, if you don't find one place helpful just try another. I am still looking.

Yambabe · 15/06/2015 01:38

When I was 19 I got quite heavily interested in the occult, bought several books about Crowley et al, read the Book of Shadows from cover to cover, absorbed Levi like it was a textbook etc.

This led me to meet several somewhat odd characters nutters one of whom claimed to be a high priest who could initiate me into his coven if I wanted. I made some tentative enguiries about what would be involved (basically him performing some pretty nasty sex acts on me) and told him to fuck off to the far side of fuck politely declined.

Actually with the benefit of hindsight although I found the readin fascinating (especially Levi, I stil apply some of his tenets to my life today) I think everyone I met who actually claimed to be involved in that lifestyle was a total loser.

Not sure it's the answer for you OP.

If it's a social life that involves alcohol that you are looking for can I suggest you just go to the pub? Grin

Butterflywings168 · 15/06/2015 01:49

Haha Grin app was telling me hadn't posted Blush

DioneTheDiabolist · 15/06/2015 01:50

What about starting your own cult OP? All the benefits of being a member, but with added riches.Grin

And you can spend your riches traveling (in style) and visiting ashrams and retreats and stuff.

Butterflywings168 · 15/06/2015 01:50

Haha Grin app was telling me hadn't posted Blush

Butterflywings168 · 15/06/2015 01:52

Agree with the suggestion of the pub, temple of worship of alcohol...Grin

TerrorAustralis · 15/06/2015 03:33

Try multi-level marketing.

JeanSeberg · 15/06/2015 05:11

Barry Manilow's not dead! And he got married recently didn't he?

Theycallmemellowjello · 15/06/2015 05:57

Eh? Why don't you just join a non-cult religion?

Smellyoulateralligator · 15/06/2015 06:55

Barry Manilow is not dead.

desertmum · 15/06/2015 07:11

this is where people I know go when they feel a bit of angst about life and it's meaning - they hug trees and chant and stuff, went to visit a friend who was staying up there years ago and it felt a bit ok.

www.findhorn.org/

auntyentropy · 15/06/2015 07:16

Oy, mits off Barry. He's alive and well-ish (ongoing health problems) and recently married. Being in the closet is not the same as being Yew Tree'd.

If you want a religion I can heartily recommend the Quakers. Lovely people and not too fussy about the whole "belief in god" thing. More seriously Alpha may provide what you're looking for with a minimum of sinister stuff.

TheAnswerIsYes · 15/06/2015 08:20

Go Catholic. Great community vibe and they love a good drink. They even serve wine during mass.

sashh · 15/06/2015 08:21

It could be argued that MN is a cult.

Friday night ceremonies with bum sex optional but wine compulsory.

The hairstyle, scarf etc.

Meetups.

Getting together to do something good for people occasionally.

Charismatic leaders.

Collaborate · 15/06/2015 08:22

I overheard some people at work saying I'd achieved cult status. At least I think that's what they said.

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