Should I say something to the gym staff?

[Snowballschanceinhell]

I went to the gym earlier and noticed a girl there who I have seen a few times in the past two weeks. She's painfully thin, but I obviously cannot diagnose any kind of eating disorder because I don't know her.

The past few times I've seen her push herself quite hard (I admit I do watch her only because the first time I noticed her I was shocked by the size of her frame) running to the point of exhaustion on the treadmill.

The same happened today, and when I finished, I ended up walking behind her toward the changing rooms. She looked quite unsteady and almost 'collapsed' onto a bench in the changing rooms. I got unchanged (kept looking over at her as we were the only two in there) and the whole time she was leant forward with her head between her legs, like you'd do if you were feeling faint. As I left, I touched her shoulder and asked if she was ok, but she just waved me away. She looked dreadful, no colour in her face and obviously struggling to even speak.

I didn't want to meddle, but have been thinking about it all afternoon. Should I have said something to the gym staff? I assume they do some kind of induction/fitness assessment when new people join to ensure they're healthy enough to work out.

WIBU to not say anything?

No, I dont think you should say something. If she does have an ED, and not an illness causing weight problems, its far better that she exercises in a public gym than on her own. Which she will do if she has an ED.

Do you also intend to talk to the gym staff about any dangerously obese users too? Or have they all been scared of by being watched?

Are you sure she isn't simply a very good competitive runner? Some long distance runners, to the average person, can look very thin and there is actually nothing at all wrong with running to exhaustion - its how you have to train to improve your VO2 max, lactic threshold, etc. Go down to your local track and you will see many examples of athletes doing exactly the same thing and being pretty tired afterwards. Improvement doesn't come from looking calm and collected and nice and pretty.

Is she running fast? It would be very hard to run fast, regularly, to the point of exhaustion with a full blown ED for which the average member of the public would benefit in intervening.

Maybe Op you could start a friendly conversation with her? Start being a friend of sorts first. Then a while later mention your concerns later. Or gather some information about ed for her to read. Someone with an ed needs to want help. Especially an adult.

If someone was causing damage to their health then I would hope that someone would be made aware of that. A health professional. Why give your GP details when joining gym? Also, a lot of GP surgeries are in contact with local gyms due to GP referral services.

I'm a competitive distance runner and while my BMI is (just) in the normal range, I look quite thin and have very low body fat, but I do have lean muscle. I train hard, and will do treadmill runs when it is raining or windy outside, and I will push myself on the treadmill. I'm actually the only person at my gym who actually runs hard on the treadmill.
My recovery is usually good, but if I've done a very, very tough session, I can look quite wrecked for 10 minutes or so, and will sit down and give myself time to recover. Usually at the track, but I've done this at the gym if I'd done hard treadmill intervals.

What I'm saying is that while yes, your person at your gym might well have an issue, equally she might not! She might just be a serious runner who has done a tough session. I think we as a society are not used to seeing truly fit people (especially women), and properly testing workouts for fit people can look brutal to those who are not used to them.

Its just that being instead on your feet, sitting with your head in your hands (or collapsing to the ground and lying down) are pretty standard ways of responding after doing a hard interval running session. It does hurt, you force yourself, you feel sorry for yourself and often overreact afterwards. I know the top women runners in my area are thin to the point of their veins and bones standing out. They are also incredibly strong but not the muscular type and definately not the typical shape of the average Brutish woman.

Damn typo, should read being instead on your feet - normal after a really hard running session. Normal to feel quite tired and a bit sore the day after too

I agree that we have forgotten what a normal human should look like.

Well there's a law that nobody in the history of the universe ever observed. You seen the city centre streets on a Friday and Saturday night?

They do observe it, I did when I worked in a bar. Doesn't make you massively popular but if someone is so drunk they can hardly order or count out their money, of course you can't continue to make money from them by selling them alcohol.

I'msocool as I say ime gyms don't take GP details. I'm sure some do but it's not across the board

Similarly, how could anyone think that gyms should continue to make money from someone who is causing themselves serious harm in the process? If someone collapsed from exhaustion during a gym session, yes the gym would be investigated.

My gym certainly took my GP details and with a disclaimer saying something along the lines of me agreeing to them contacting them... Fair enough but personally I think that it's bad practice not to. That's just my opinion

I think there is nothing wrong in saying to a member of gym staff "probably none of my business but x person seemed to be pushing herself very hard and seemed a bit unsteady afterwards - just thought I'd mention it".

OP might have misread the situation, might have lost perspective on what a healthy body looks like, but you'd imagine fitness professionals would have a better idea of what is pushing boundaries? Having said that, if there IS a problem, it shouldnt take an ordinary gym member to point it out (unless there's no staff around at all in the training areas?).

Every gym I have belonged to has taken my GP details.

Mine didn't.

I'd have spoken to the gym at the time along the lines of being worried that she was going to faint or stand up and then fall over and hurt herself as she'd worked herself to the point of exhaustion rather than say anything about an ED - you can't know about her health conditions but you can see she is struggling in the right here and now.

If a medically trained member of staff came to see her when she was still struggling 10 minutes after finishing then they would be able to see for themselves that she was very thin and extrapolate as to why she was having problems. Talking to her when she was struggling to recover would mean that they'd be able to talk to her nicely about making sure she was eating enough and drinking enough to exercise safely rather than just pitching in with some well meaning but potentially damaging general chitchat about how she was looking very thin.

Great username by the way Down The cynic in my thinks that even if OP does say something the gym might not bother at all. In all likelihood even if the woman has anorexia and gym says something then it'd be quite easy for the woman to join a new gym.

A gym.is hardly a place where, unless you are exceptionally lucky, you are going to find experts on athletics training, recovery, etc...not expert enough...

zipzap with your comments on recovery, youd be condemning just about every serious track rubber I know especially the middle distance divas who like to collapse in a heap. It was thinking like this that condemned some from running no longer than 800m until the sixties.

Recovery is based on time it takes to restore resting heart rate, so unless you slap a HRM on her, you are in no position to judge her recovery. Personally, id be liable to.punch someone who tried to "chat nicely" to me straight after a hard session.

The more I read the Ops description, the more it sounds like a perfectly Norma high level rubber after a hard interval session. Op - do you think Paula radcliffe also looks dangerously thin?

I look forward to a story appearing in AW about how the local 10k champ had a woman in her gym come up to her after training suggesting she back.off!

I'm at Chelmsford leisure centre at the moment and had this exact conversation ten minutes ago, wondering what duty of care gyms have re this kind of thing. There is a girl here today that is clearly anorexic, not just very slim, clearly very very ill but she's just done a workout.
and yes you could see her genitals from behind, never seen that before.

Years ago when I was a student there was a girl like this at my gym. It was a very small gym so she was very obvious. Someone mentioned her to the staff who said they'd repeatedly told her they were worried about her but that there was nothing they could do if she continued to come. I suspect the same is true in your gym.

the gyms have a duty of care, and are on the whole utterly inadequately staffed in the interests of profit. WHile ours may have 4 personal trainers in the gym at any one time, they're with their client and there is nobody else present to ensure that machines are being used correctly etc - it's NEGLIGENT.
Gyms should be really concerned by the current rash of litigation by gambling addicts who are suing casinos / defending suits by casinos for failure to pay debts on the basis that the casinos should have refused to accept their bets as they know they're addicts - one in the news currently, however the saudi princess who claimed it over her £2m debt failed to show the casino had a duty of care to her because the £2m loss was well within her means and wasn't a significant loss / amount for her to gamble - pretty unusual / specific facts.
Anyway - the gyms are responsible in the same way they are responsible for ensuring that they look after the machines correctly.

It seems there's one at every gym-theres one in mine as well and I always worry about her, and wonder if she should really be there too, but haven't raised my anxieties with the staff. I do remember one time I was in the spin studio waiting for the class to start. She came in, spoke to the instructor and then left and wondered if he'd expressed his concern that realistically the class was too much for her.

I think the OP did exactly the right thing by simply asking if she was all right. If you are worried there and then that she is going to faint etc. then at that point you should certainly inform the staff that you think someone is ill.

In other words it is appropriate to respond to acute incidents of unwellness but not the underlying chronic aspects.

"The gym is a business and it's not really their responsibility, it's hers"

Not true - Directors of companies have fiduciary duties and this can extend to users of their equipment.

This is probably going to come across as goading and I really don't mean it to be but it's a thought that's running through my head. I'd also like to point out that I'm 5' 2" and size 12-14 so neither fat nor thin, but I used to be a size 4-6 due to health problems.

All of you who think that you should/would speak up about this gym scenario - would you raise an issue with the manager of a restaurant if you noticed a morbidly obese person eating dessert? And if not - why is it different?

I am genuinely interested because I can't see a difference and I accept that I'm probably wrong!

That question has been raised earlier Rainbow and there was an answer along the lines of if somebody was doing something which immediately looked as if it was an issue, such as eating so much they were being sick, then yes they would expect a restaurant manager to act. However, as far as I know, restaurants don't have a duty of care (beyond hygiene and quality) to customers whereas it seems gyms do.